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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum


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About wrjwrj

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 09/11/1952

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    Pittsfield, Illinois, USA

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  1. How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Scroll down... Scroll up... --Bill
  2. wrjwrj

    Cell Phone Tracker

    That would have helped wouldn't it. http://www.sat-gps-locate.com/english/index.html --Bill
  3. wrjwrj

    Cell Phone Tracker

    Everyone's cell phone has a built in GPS, good for law enforcement to find the bad guys, but now they have a website that can let anyone you ever gave your number to find you. How long before they put the chip in all of us? --Bill
  4. wrjwrj

    Marilyn is 'Street Legal'

    Congrats!! But now I'll have something else to watch out for when I come through next year. -Bill
  5. wrjwrj

    Think test

    18 Plus a stern look from the boss for doing this at work. :D --Bill
  6. wrjwrj

    New Socket / New Casting Method

    I'm only on my second leg and both were done with the liner (iceross, pinlock) on. He made his marks on the plastic wrap before forming the leg. I've been using the leg for 3-1/2 Years with no problems. I'm on only my second liner with this leg, because of shrinking. He's had to add pads a couple of times but that's been about it. The iceross is just your basic liner. From what I have seen I think he does all his legs this way. --Bill
  7. wrjwrj

    Prevention of Phantom Pain

    General anaesthetic, with lots and lots of morphine drip. Get a lot of feeling, wiggling toes and such, but not a lot of pain. Lightning zaps or the feeling of a knife in my foot, but never lasted very long, an hour at most. Had one yesterday, but it maybe couple of months before I have another. --Bill
  8. Looking good. B) Once you get out on the roads you won't believe the number of kids that will tell you what a cool bike you have, and where did you get it, and how much did it cost and can they try it out and do you want to race. It will take a little doing to get your foot to stay in place, unless you have a strap or clips, but it will get there. The hills are the biggest problem till you get a whole different set of muscles built up. Watch out for the dreded 'recumbutt' :D --Bill
  9. THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Specificity British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex Nope, no more booze for me Sorry, but you're not really my type Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing -Bill ;)
  10. An elderly couple were experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class, where they teach one to remember things by association. Later, the man was talking to a neighbor about how much the class helped him. "Who was the instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, let's see," pondered the man. "Ummm... What's that flower, you know, that smells real nice, but it has those thorns...?" "A rose?" offered the neighbor. "Right," said the man. He turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the guy we took that memory class from?" --Bill
  11. Welcome, Chuck. Mine came with a 1" or so cutout above the locking pin where I could push the pin enough to center. Just figured all of them came that way. Usually if I don't have the pin centered that it clicked right into place, I take the liner off and start over, just seems to cause less trouble as the day goes on. --Bill
  12. An Indiana farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called -- and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: 1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar. 2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose. 3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called. 4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground. 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring. . . . . . . Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning. -Bill
  13. wrjwrj

    A Guy's Rules

    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. -Bill B)
  14. wrjwrj


    A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora") because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador") because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, the ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won. --Bill
  15. Bubba had Shingles Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem that more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bubba: Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, shingles. The doctor asked, Where? Bubba said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want them?" --Bill