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elnoviodelamuerte

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Everything posted by elnoviodelamuerte

  1. elnoviodelamuerte

    Dreams

    Hello folks, do you remember in which shape or condicion you experience your dreams: 'Complete' with all your limbs or limbless? I suppose, it depends on how much time has passed since the amputation. In my case it seems to vary from dream to dream, but with time progressing the limbless variety seems to predominate. In the first years following the amputation, I kept on dreaming of being called up for exercises with the army reserve. I would usually wonder, how they expected me to manage with my prosthesis and crutches. Kind regards, Mike RHD
  2. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    Hi guys, I'm not sure if anyone rembers me. As a lifelong sufferer from Bipolar Disorder I'm prone to drastic mood changes and I have not managed to stay in a forum for any length of time. I underwent hip-disarticulation of my right leg in 1989. Regards, Mike
  3. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

  4. elnoviodelamuerte

    Hello from AK Drummer in Tampa!

    Mike! Welcome from the Forum's resident Kraut. Mike
  5. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    Hi Ally, I had been offline for 8 or 9 days due to a bout of shingles affecting my head and face. It's much better now and yesterday I returned to my work in the library. After quitting the forum I had saved your website among my favourites, but one day my pc could not trace your website anymore. I suppose I had fallen in with the wrong crowd/thread on that AbeBooksForum. :D Not really. They were really quite nice. I got to know a nice girl in Pretoria. But harmless banter somehow got out of hand, and now I top the List of The Most Wanted Villains in Louisiana and the only welcome I can now expect is a blast from a pump-gun. At present I have no reserve prosthesis. I hope to be fitted with a new prosthesis some time in the fall or winter. Am trying hard to lose weight. Definitely do not want to add diabetes to my list of ailments, and being vane, I do NOT want to be a grossly overweight amputee. You feel fitter and more agile that way anyway. Fortunately nothing dramatic has happened since I left the forum. My wife is fine and so am I. And now with summer arriving somewhat prematurely I'm even feeling better. You may remember that I just love the sun and heat. Should be living in a hot country like SA. But how have you been faring? I hope your son is well, too. Must be proud of his sexy, attractive mother who is sure to make some impression on his peers. Must close for now. Have a nice day. Love, Mike
  6. elnoviodelamuerte

    Re-introduction!

    Dearest Marilyn, I'm sitting behind the circulation desk in the library. It looks like it's going to be a quiet afternoon. So I might as well write you a few lines. I'm not much of a talker, even less of a small talker. I find it much easier to express my feelings and thoughts in writing. On the loss of your son. My wife and I have no children. So it's impossible for me to gauge what it is like to lose a son. To lose a child must be even worse for a mother who has literally borne the child and given birth to him/her. In contrast to my wife I never cared much for having children of my own. Perhaps I feared the responsibility. If we had had children my library would certainly not be as sizeable as it is. So there is definitely a certain amount of selfishness involved. :D But there is also a price to be paid. One of us - my wife or myself - is bound to survive the other. If my wife should die before me, I'd be left with no relatives to take care of me. It's truly tragic that your son should have committed suicide at such a young age. I do have my doubts as far as the concept of free will is concerned. Is it fair? No. If you are looking for consolation try the website of the Sarcoma Alliance http://www.sarcomaalliance.org/ There you will find - among others - many stories of teenagers who are battling cancer and may never live to be twenty. Losing someone we love is the worst thing that's bound to happen to us at some time. In my case it was the loss of my beloved grandfather, an aunt and uncle, a fatherly friend and ... my dog. I have always tried to be stoic. We simply must accept whatever fate has in store for us. I hope I have not bored you. Take care! Love, Mike
  7. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    Hi Marcia, thanks for your kind wishes. Yesterday I went back to work. Still got a large reddened patch on my forehead and a last piece of scab which will come off soon. People and readers in particular wonder what's happened. My colleagues thought my wife might have hit me over the head with a frying pan. :P Most people suspect that I had a nasty fall. Fortunately the pain was not that bad, but I had to take painkillers. I've still got a slight headache stretching down to my left cheekbone and the left ear. Shingles usually affect one side of the body. How are things in Biloxi? What I remember from the news is that it was devastated by Katrina. Do they still have an army camp there? I did enjoy the movie "Biloxi Blues". Give my love to your husband and family. Love, Mike
  8. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    Mike, that's where my hubby had shingles.....on his face....and Doctor gave him 800 mg. of very strong medicine.....they are very painful. Hopeyou feel better ;) ann Hi Ann, fortunately the pain was not that bad, but I took painkillers anyway. Actually I had to take 800mg of that strong anti-viral drug five times a day which left me sleepy and groggy for one week. Still got a slight headache and a small patch of scab left on my forehead. Thanks for your kind wishes. Give my love to your hubby and family. Love, Mike
  9. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    Hi folks, Sorry! I have been off-line for the past 8 days. Had to take sick leave suffering from a case of shingles or Herpes Zoster. Never knew that it could affect the head and face! The strong medication left me sleepy and groggy and I've still got large red patches on my forehead with the last piece of scab likely to come off any time soon. Take care! God Bless! Mike
  10. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    Dear Higgy & Shane, thanks for your welcome. Forum's seems to have quietened down a bit since I left it last August (?). I stayed abstinent for a while until I joined the AbeBookForum in February. An unfortunate development - harmless banter with a bored librarian in Louisiana led to her being dressed down by her husband and being forbidden to exchange further posts with me. So much for a happy marriage where a mother of two grown-up boys is ordered around by her loving husband like a little girl. I was so upset by this turn of affairs that I proceeded to delete all of my 659 posts to that forum. I can be that uncompromising and unforgiving. Some piece of work, I can assure, but it helped to vent my anger and disappointment. Anyway better than grabbing a pump-gun and shooting innocent people. With my recurring depressions I get these compulsive negative thoughts like: I'm always the odd man out, I'm a social failure, I have no friends etc. I also get jealous and envious of posters who seem to rule the roost and are perceived by me as being more poular than myself. That's when I usually quit a forum. But my new medication has so far prevented these fits of envy and jealousy. I hope to stay for good. Love, Mike
  11. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    Hi Lynn, tried to send you a message. Was refused. Will mail you a detailed post tomorrow afternoon. Love, Mike
  12. elnoviodelamuerte

    Everyones story

    Hi, if anybody should be interested: The Sarcoma Alliance were gracious enough to publish my story on their website:^ http://www.sarcomaalliance.org/ Click on or scroll down to SUPPORT, then click on Personal Stories: Michael Wackers, that's me. Kind regards, Mike
  13. elnoviodelamuerte

    losing my marbles

    Dearest Paul, WHAT STIGMA? Frankly someone who has had a close brush with death in the shape of cancer someone who had his leg amputated should not give a damn about what other people might think! Read VeryScared's post carefully and take it to heart! I often wonder what my life might have been like if I had started medication earlier. Take care! Mike
  14. elnoviodelamuerte

    losing my marbles

    Dear Paul, I know the feeling. Obviously you are going through a heavy depression where your inside, your heart and guts turn to stone and not even your favourite music can lift your spirit. High time you begin taking anti-depressants. Sorry, but what does EMDR stand for? Wishing you All the Best Love, Mike rhd
  15. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    Hi Cheryl, thanks for welcoming me back to the forum. Thank God nothing dramatic has happened since I last posted. I hope everything's ok with you, too. Have a nice day, Mike
  16. elnoviodelamuerte

    losing my marbles

    Dearest Hazel, I have been suffering from Bipolar Disorder I since I was a boy of 14 (1964). My self-diagnosed condicion was left untreated until the early 90s when I heard of this new American wonder drug Prozac. I asked my GP for a prescription. In my case the depressions clearly dominate with recurring undramatic phases of hypomanias. I made the same mistake as you, stopping the medication after two or three months when I was feeling better. Since August 2006 I have been regularly consulting a psychiatrist. We started with Prozac which only began to show a positive effect after 6 weeks! But at regular intervals of 6 to 7 weeks mild to medium depressions would return with the usual compulsive negative thoughts. I would double or treble the dosage and after a relatively short time the depressions would abate. To prevent these phases from reoccuring we tried Valproat, but had to stop the medication on account of sudden severe stabbing pains in the neck. I am quite content with my new medication Cymbalta which has restored my drive. Anyway you must continue your medication for at least a year or even longer. Give my love to your husband (the ex-Sapper)! Love, Mike
  17. elnoviodelamuerte

    Re-introduction!

    Dearest Marilyn, Welcome back! I don't know if you remember me. I've just rejoined the forum after a lengthy absence. I was saddened to read about the loss of your son. I lost one of my few friends recently, and two penpals that I got to know on a sarcoma forum are now battling terminal cancer. Hope we all can manage to cheer you up a bit. Love, Mike
  18. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    G'day Cat, it feels nice to back and to be remembered by two senior contributors to the forum. I hope everything's ok with you and your partneress. I'm fine. Leg's still gone though. lol Love, Mike Why am I not surprised? :lol: Hey Mike nice to see you round the place.
  19. elnoviodelamuerte

    Return?

    G'day, awfully nice of you to reply. I've just left the AbeBooksForum. It seems I have never lasted longer than in this forum and chances are that I might be here to stay. I met a couple of nice people on that forum, too, and hope to keep up a correspondence with two of them. Nothing dramatic has happened since I left the forum. My new medication seems to have the positive effect that I no longer get jealous or envious of the more popular posters. So I hope to display more stamina this time! I hope everything's ok with you, too. Haven't made it to Australia yet. Hope to stay in touch. Love, Mike RHD
  20. elnoviodelamuerte

    CANADIAN website

    just discovered: http://www.amputee.ca
  21. elnoviodelamuerte

    What happened to your leg?

    Hi all, I have told this story before on the Amputee Online Forum. Anyway here it is: . In January 2000 my wife, in-laws and I visited Niagara Falls. We were just going to sit down at some snack bar in a Canadian shopping mall, when a young woman (a girl of 15 or thereabouts) came rushing towards me. She seemed to be quite excited, and at first I did not get what she was on about. I thought she was a waitress, trying to tell us that for some reason we could not sit there. Then I understood her repeated and agitated question: "What happened to your leg?" I realised she was slightly mentally handicapped. Her embarassed father had meanwhile caught up with her. I answered: "It's an artificial leg" - I lifted my prosthesis with my right hand (remember, I'm hd!) to demonstrate. She was incredulous, and before her father could intervene, she stepped up to me and firmly gripped my right thigh with both hands, feeling the foam cover. Her father was even more embarassed, as he could not be sure how I would react to this physical inspection. These people are SO impulsive, honest and frank (and amiable), aren't they? You want an encore? Here's another story: An Amputee exploring the Nile. In the early nineties we undertook a boat tour on the river Nile. We had to negiotiate the steep river banks on mere footpaths. My wife tipped one of the Egyptian seamen to assist me. A colleague was eager to cash in, and so I ended up with two able-bodied seamen lifting me by both arms and my feet barely touching the ground. Hope you enjoyed both stories. Mike
  22. elnoviodelamuerte

    Funny Thing Happened ...

    Hi mates, I guess I was feeling bored, and as cleaning had always been one of my secret passions, I decided to hoover the living-room carpet - ON ONE LEG. I set about my task, supporting myself and my anything but inconsiderable weight on the vacuum-cleaner which clearly had not been designed for that purpose. Some plastic component was bound to break, and I ended up lying on my back after performing a perfect 180° judo roll. Had to buy a new vacuum-cleaner though.
  23. elnoviodelamuerte

    Everyones story

  24. elnoviodelamuerte

    Everyones story

    Hi, :) this is the short version of my story. [you can read the full version in the 'Personal Stories' section (Support) of the Sarcoma Alliance website: http://www.sarcomaalliance.org/] 28th June, 1989: Standing in front of a lifesize mirror - while changing clothes for the weekend - I discovered a lump/swelling in my upper inner right thigh. :o First thought that crossed my mind was: "I only hope I'm gonna keep my leg!" Three weeks later it would be gone. :( Instead of limb-sparing surgery I opted for amputation to get rid of the primary tumour and any potential recurrences for good. I kind of had to force the surgeons at gunpoint to amputate - if you knew how difficult it is to get hold of a gun in Germany, you might appreciate the obstacles posed! :D To avoid mind-boggling puzzles whether to call my stump 'stump' or 'residual limb' I opted for hip-disarticulation. :P I manage pretty well. My somewhat unsatisfactory second Bock prosthesis (knee totally unreliable) has forced me to revert to using 2 crutches with my prosthesis, my kind of Nordic Walking. (Very good for developing upper body strength!) At home and in hospital I use a wheelchair. In my workplace, a library, I use my sound left leg to propel my office-chair and myself backwards. I have so far only met two HDs or HPs on the internet who can manage without canes or crutches! Most HDs/HPs discard their prostheses altogether. Regards, Mike RHD P.S. All tongue-in-cheek, of course. :P
  25. elnoviodelamuerte

    Happy Birthday

    Hi, :) A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH OF YOU FROM GERMANY. :o Wishing YOU HEALTH, LUCK & HAPPINESS :D Mike RHD
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