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Gil Davis

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Everything posted by Gil Davis

  1. Gil Davis

    Another video

    Mini You are surely getting this going! My first thought, during the video, was that you were trying to avoid the oncoming lady. Then you wheeled right about and returned. Whover operated the camera did a nice job.
  2. Gil Davis

    Success

    Success is Relative At age 4 success is . . . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . having friends. At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 35 success is . . . having money. At age 50 success is . . . having money. At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. The Evolution of Medicine 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
  3. Gil Davis

    Mostly For Over 40's

    This younger generation is much to dependent on computers. For instance, are you male or female? Look Down See! I said LOOK down, not SCROLL down.
  4. Gil Davis

    Questions about Australia

    ....spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Is that the Aussie version of Eau de Toilette? Only for British and American tourists, Australians use Foster's taken internally.
  5. OMG! That is really something. I hope it clears soon. Otherwise, pick up a rainsuit and splash away. I used to ride a motorcycle and rainsuits really work. Be sure you get a bright yellow one. Yeah, in my case it made me look like a 200 lb canary, but you're VISIBLE. They make this little loop-like thingy that goes on your pedal and keeps your arty foot in place. I think this is a "clip", but bike shops should have them. My nephew was a bike-aholic and had them on both pedals so he didn't have to wonder where his feets were. Especially when he was hitting on some cute young chick. Or showing off, same thing. :P :P :P
  6. Gil Davis

    Women

    EVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH! There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother. 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He didn't get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands. 2. He had wine with His meals. 3. He used olive oil But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut His hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 1. He was at peace with nature. 2. He ate a lot of fish. 3. He talked about the Great Spirit. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.
  7. Gil Davis

    A Real Amp Joke

    During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad so the the German doctor amputated his arm. He had a request that they would drop his arm over his base in England. So the Germans did. Then next week they amputated his other arm and he asked for the same thing. So the Germans did. The next week they amputated his leg and he again asked for them to drop it over his base in England. The German doctor replied, "Nein, Ve do dis no more!" The pilot asked why not, and the German answered, "Ve tink you trying to escape!"
  8. Gil Davis

    A Real Amp Joke

    It's really in there. NEW UC San Francisco Math Placement Test The NEW Univ of California at San Francisco Math Placement Test 1. Zelda and Jane were given a Rottweiler at their commitment ceremony. If their dog needs to be walked two miles a day and they walk at a rate of one mile per hour, how much time will they spend discussing their relationship in public? 2. Michael has two abusive stepfathers and an alcoholic mother. If his self-esteem is reduced by 20% per dysfunctional parent, but Michael feels 3% better for every person he denigrates, how long will it take before he's ready to go home if 1 person walks by the cafe every 2 minutes? 3. Sanjeev has 7 piercings. If the likelihood of getting cellulitis on a given day is 10% per piercing, what is the likelihood Sanjeev will need to renew his erythromycin prescription during the next week? 4. Chad wants to take half a pound of heroin to Orinda and sell it at a 20% profit. If it originally cost him $1,500 in food stamps, how much should Nicole write the check for? 5. The City and County of San Francisco decide to destroy 50 rats infesting downtown. If 9,800 animal rights activists hold a candlelight vigil, how many people did each dead rat empower? 6. A red sock, a yellow sock, a blue sock, and a white sock are tossed randomly in a drawer. What is the likelihood that the first two socks drawn will be socks of color? 7. George weighs 245 pounds and drinks two triple lattes every morning. If each shot of espresso contains 490mg of caffeine, what is George's average caffeine density in mg/pound? 8. There are 4500 homes in Mill Valley and all of them recycle plastic. If each household recycles 10 soda bottles a day and buys one polar fleece pullover per month, does Mill Valley have a monthly plastic surplus or deficit? Bonus question: Assuming all the plastic bottles are 1 liter size, how much Evian are they drinking? 9. If the average person can eat one pork pot sticker in 30 seconds, and the waitress brings a platter of 12 pot stickers, how long will it take five vegans to not eat them? 10. Todd begins walking down Market Street with 12 $1 bills in his wallet. If he always gives panhandlers a single buck, how many legs did he have to step over if he has $3 left when he reaches the other end and met only one double-amputee? Advanced Placement Students Only: 11. Katie, Trip, Ling, John-John and Effie share a three-bedroom apartment on Guerrero for $2400 a month. Effie and Trip can share one bedroom, but the other three need their own rooms with separate ISDN lines to run their web servers. None of them wants to use the futon in the living room as a bed, and they each want to save $650 in three months to attend Burning Man. What is their best option: a) All five roommates accept a $12/hour job-share as handgun monitors at Mission High. B) Ask Miles, the bisexual auto mechanic, to share Effie and Trip's bedroom for $500/month. c) Petition the Board of Supervisors to advance Ling her annual digital-artists-of-color stipend. d) Rent strike.
  9. Bear Hunting The Pope took a couple of days off to visit Alaska. He was cruising along in the PopeMobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Hippie, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly. As the Pope watched horrified, a group of back-woods loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Hippie from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed o f their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Hippie in the back seat. As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between back-woods loggers and Hippie environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?" "It was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom." "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting!" "By the way, is the bait holding up or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?"
  10. Excellent picture! If I didn't live on a lumpy gravel road, I would think about one of those. They aren't that expensive. Does it have gears or is it a single-speed? I'm jealous! ;) ;)
  11. Gil Davis

    The Question Game

    Falling out of a moving vehicle at 3 years and getting a mouthful of sand. I can still taste it. Do you have more than one prosthetic? In use or not.
  12. Gil Davis

    I hope you like this article

    Mike Thanks for all you've done and are doing. I can relate to the face thing. When I and my late wife were in separate ICU's after the crash and burn I was frantic to see if I had scars on my face. Naturally, they don't have mirrors on a burn ward, but I blackmailed a night nurse into bringing me a small mirror just so I could see whather my face was scarred. It wasn't, but they wouldn't have told me that. It's odd what is important to us at times like that.
  13. Gil Davis

    The Question Game

    Yes, two. My late wife and I would have been married seven years on Cinco de Mayo. My birthday is June 28. What is your most favorite dessert?
  14. Gil Davis

    i"m ok thanks (well not really)

    Mick I understand what you're doing, but the sooner you get back to the pre-amp days, the better. I'm sure no one thinks you can't do it. But, as you said a "strapping 18 year old" should have to share the load. No one will carry his pack in the service. Actually, I think you're quite right in the head. You just need to let others carry their own load.
  15. Gil Davis

    Women

    Jim I think you missed the point. What I do allows these younger (mostly) ladies to display their assets to the world with no qualms. They are just pampering this harmless older man. My late wife understood this completely and thought it was "cute". In a few cases the "subject" actually thanked me for showing an interest in whatever slogan they were wearing across their chests. Most people don't wear something that has nothing to do with their own thoughts, whether it's "Save the Whales" or a set of cross-hairs with a terrorist in the middle.
  16. Gil Davis

    smart adaptive 2

    Mick Excellent report on the new knee. I'm sure they will be available in the US and elsewhere once you've worked the "bugs" out. Sounds like you gave it a good work-out! How long do the batteries last before needing a re-charge? Keep us up to date on how it's working out. This is sooo interesting, even for a Bk like me.
  17. Gil Davis

    The Question Game

    Two, both on the Princess line. Had a blast! What are you doing, just now, (please don't say you're typing on your keyboard)?
  18. Gil Davis

    Lacking a Limb, not a life

    WOW! What a good post, Cat! Real people in real situations. Thank you.
  19. Gil Davis

    feeling down

    I concur. I'm waiting out a sore on me own stump so know somewhat where you're at. If you're back to your old socket, it's fairly sure that the new one is bogus. Let us know how it comes out.
  20. Gil Davis

    Check this out...

    Shane You are really on a roll! Great news!
  21. Gil Davis

    The Question Game

    Most of them, around here, just say "Good Morning". Ever done any stained glass?
  22. Gil Davis

    Rider of the Year

    Shane You're doing excellently. I don't think your fellow riders agree with that remark about judgement. You're doing what you really want to do and doing it well. Sorry to hear about the "owies", but they will heal. You've just been elected as one of my "Heroes". Just keep the greasy side down.
  23. Gil Davis

    Happy Birthday

    I'm late also, but I hope you had an excellent birthday, and many more to come.
  24. Gil Davis

    Women

    Why do so many women wear tops with writing on them and then complain about people staring at their chests? They wanted to attract attention to something. Even better are the ones that wear pants/shorts with some slogan across the rear. I have learned to "defuse" this situation by simply asking "Can I read what you've got on your top?" Most women will then throw their sholders back to allow the writing to be readily seen. I'm a slow reader. My son thinks I'm either daft or a dirty old man. The truth is that it's a little of both.
  25. Gil Davis

    The Question Game

    Jim You were a contemporary of those fellows. At any rate, my vote would be for Louis Pasteur. Although not a politician per se, he used political means to gain acceptance of his ideas. What would you do differently, if you had the chance?
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