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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum


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Everything posted by firstborn

  1. I am interested in talking to someone who has had an amputation due to CRPS

  2. As some of you already know, I am not yet an amputee but I am considering it. I have a useless foot after a car crash. The doctor told me today I was crazy for wanting an amputation. I have a disorder called RSD from my injury. He told me that the RSD would only get worse if I went through with the operation. I have been upset all week and this is why I dont go to the doctors. I told my pain mgmt dr, that I wanted to move on with my life and be able to walk without pain again.
  3. firstborn

    Surgery Date Is Scheduled.

    Does Jan Ertl do phone consultation or did you have to go see him personally. I too would like him to do my surgery but would have to travel like you. How many days will you spend in the hospital? Are they setting up some sort of payment system for you? Jenn
  4. firstborn

    Please Read

    On Saturday April 16 2011 I celebrated my wedding to my long term boyfriend. The lady who decorated for my wedding told me that she was decorating 2 weddings the same weekend. Well my boyfriend found out she was decorating for an amputee for the second wedding. I was so moved after reading about her journey. Please read the article about this lady. Its so inspiring. I took as a sign from god, that he is telling if I decide to go through with the elective amputation I too will be ok. http://www.nola.com/education/index.ssf/2011/04/brides_heart_overcomes_injurie.html Article Pics http://photos.nola.com/tpphotos/2011/04/with_this_ring_11.html
  5. firstborn

    Pain Managment Dr calls me Crazy!

    Cherylm, I am so torn now. I dont know which way to go. I thought that by having the amputation would allow me to be healthy again. I am being told it would likely get worse. I am so depressed after talking to my doctor.
  6. firstborn

    Female Amputees

    Hello girls! Question: Do you feel comfortable in dresses? I am not yet an amputee, but I have a disfigured foot after trying to save my foot. I am extremely weary of wearing dresses and having my foot exposed. I wonder how I would react to having a prosthetic. I would hope I would be ok with it that I wont want to hide it. I thought maybe stockings would make it less noticeable. Self image is something I worry about even before I got hurt.
  7. firstborn

    What to do?

    Mary, I am dealing with the same emotions you are. I am not yet an amputee but I think about it every single day of my life. Not sure if that is healthy or not. Broke my foot a few years back and its useless to me. I live in chronic pain. I haven't set a date for my surgery but I thought this year I was going to have the procedure done. I set a goal for May but I haven't made an appointment. Its such a huge decision to make, one that you cant reverse or fix once its done. I have find reason's not to go the doctor. I can relate to your story completely. I think that you will know when the timing is right. I believe that you the time is right, when you come to peace with what your about to do. Jenn
  8. firstborn


    What type of work does everyone do? Just interested in the level of activity for each person. I am enrolled in school right now, because I realize now that I have limitations. I am not yet an amp, but I have trouble with walking. I am currently enrolled in a paralegal program and working a full time job. My current job is an office manager which allows to sit at a desk for the most part of my day. After this semster ends, I want to have my surgery so I can head back to school in the fall.
  9. Ok, so I would like to get a second opinion from a doctor who is experienced in amputations and dealing with someone who is considering an elective amputation. My current orthopedic doctor has only done a few amputations. I don't have the funding to see Dr.Ertl, as much as I would love to. I want someone who will listen to me and not judge me for wanting to have the procedure. My family and friends are trying to tell me that the phantom pain will be worse than the pain I have now. I think its their scare tatic. I have decided not to include my family in this decision, because they are making it impossible for me to move forward.
  10. firstborn

    I hate cold weather!

    For those of you who dont know me. I am not yet an amputee. I think about having the amputation everyday because I have a crushed foot injury that doesn't allow me to do anything. I hate cold weather because it seems to attack my foot. My question to you is do you have pain 24/7? My daily pain is 24 hours a day. I am currently in the process of trying to find ways to supplement my income. Since my injury I had to take a lower paying job and it barely pays the bill, because of this I am considering going back to school. My motivation is over come by my pain level which is anywhere from 7 to 10.
  11. I am sick and fed up with doing what others think is right. I have walked around with a painful limb for almost 3 years and I am done with caring what my family and bf think I should do. Whenever I mention the surgery the seem to turn me off and not listen to me. I have had to put my entire life on hold because I can NO longer do what I did before. I want to be able to move on with my life. I want to move forward with my dreams. I know there is a post I have seen in the past that explains to family why you want to have an amp. I like any one else out there wants to be healthy. At this point in my life. I rely on pains meds and alcohol to take help control the pain so I can get up in the morning to go back to work. I hate it! Jenn
  12. firstborn

    Feeling Stuck in Limbo

    Since day one of my accident every one has down played my injury telling me that I was going to be fine. No one has ever mentioned to me that an amputation might be a solution to my problem. I walked into my surgeon office and told him I am done trying to fix my foot. My family and boyfriend are baffled on why I would want the surgery. They saved my foot and left with me a useless limb. I am stuck in limbo not knowing what to do. Should I have the amputation because I want to move on with my life. My family and bf do not discuss this as an option they seem to think I would be worse off with a prosthetic. I dont know why they seem to think. I am more disabled by keeping my my foot. I am unable to use my foot or bear any kind of weight for longer than a few minutes. I wake up in the mornings not wanting to get out of bed. I worry what the future holds for me. I have held a job that I can not stand so that if I decided to have the procedure it will be covered. I feel like if I dont have the amp, I will never be able to get on with my life. I just want closure and relief. Being in pain every minute of every day wears me down to the point I dont know how I am going to be able to rebuild my life. I do as little as possible every day so that I can make thru a day. I am not a lazy person, I am a person in pain. Jenn :(
  13. firstborn

    Feeling Stuck in Limbo

    My biggest fear is that I worry about what others think of me. I was always concerned about the way I looked before. I hate to admit it but its true. I worry that my bf/fiance` will leave me. My thinking is that I am not the same person he proposed to almost 4 years ago. I haven't been able to commit to a date because planning a wedding seems exhausting when your in so much pain. I can barely hold my full time job without wanting to quit every day. My biggest fear is health coverage. I am extremely ill feeling now and I have to maintain my health coverage because at any point the pain becomes to much for me to handle I get sick. I no longer have the freedom or motivation to do anything differently. I am trying to make it day by day. I cant make plans for the future because it all depends on the amount of pain I am in. Jenn
  14. firstborn

    Feeling Stuck in Limbo

    I guess my family and boyfriend believe that my injury cant be as bad as I make it out to be. They dont believe that having the procedure will help my situation. I feel so alone and I really dont know if I will ever be a 100 percent on having it done. Thank you guys for listening. I was having a tough week. Jenn
  15. firstborn

    Elective Amps?

    Hi.. My Name is Jenn. I am not yet an amputee but I have come to realize that I may have to amputate one day due to chronic pain I have in my left foot that resulted from a motor vehicle accident. I have had many surgeries to fix my foot which all have failed. Because my foot never healed properly I have what the doctors call RSD. RSD is a nerve disorder that causes chronic pain through out my foot. Apparently if I have an amputation I could get RSD in the residual stump. I was wondering if there are any amputees are here that have RSD have an amputation or if anyone on the site has had an amputation due to RSD. My main worry is that if I go thru with procedure the RSD will attack the residual limb and I will not be able to use a prosthetic leg. This is one of many worries I have with deciding to have the surgery.
  16. firstborn

    Very Disappointing!

    Like Mary.. I have to been told there is no difference in a regular amp or Ertl amp by my surgeon. My doctor said he was willing to have the surgery and be more in happy in researching the procedure. It made me a bit uneasy. I trust my doctors judgement but this is my leg were are talking about. I am considering having an elective amp as well. I am only with my current job because of my health coverage. I worry that if I switch jobs I will be denied the procedure because it is an accident injury that would be pre existing.
  17. firstborn

    What to expect?

    I am going to meet my surgeon tomorrow and part of me wants to cancel my appointment and the other is just do it. I want to schedule my procedure to have my amputation. I have a few question for everyone, both elective and non elective amps. I need to know how my first year is going to look. I am currently working at a job I hate so I can carry my health coverage. I have not quit because I want to have the surgery. So my question is this. Can someone give me a time line of you life after an amp for your first year. I know that you can return to work after so many weeks after surgery but I hate to say it but I want to have my prosthetic before I proudly go back to work. My bf and I have been together for almost five years and 3 of the years we have been engaged. I would like to be married but I want to know if I should do this before the procedure so that way for any reason I lose my coverage I will be insured under his. Yes, I know this is a horrible way to look at life but my life is no longer worry free. I worry every single day of life. I cant afford to lose my job but I need health insurance. I hate feeling stuck. I have zero hope right now. If I continue my life the way it is now I am going to feel disable and I will not be able to do the jobs that I want to do. I want my freedom to do whatever I did before my accident. I want my health I had prior to my accident.
  18. firstborn

    2 Questions Health Coverage

    I am currently at my job so if I decide to have an amputation it will be covered. I am worried that if I leave my job that I will be denied the procedure from my new health coverage. My question is has anyone heard of this before, being denied for the surgery? My next question is for bk prosthetics what is the lifetime of a leg. I am a female and I would want that mimics the real life leg. And lastly has anyone had problems with coverage as an amputee? I am so worried about not having the money to cover the cost of the surgery or the prosthetic I remain at my job so I will be covered.
  19. firstborn

    What to expect?

    My appointment went okay. I asked my foot surgeon if he has ever done an ertl amp and he replied no. That scared me. He suggested we do another fusion before moving forward with an amp. I told him that I wanted some time to think about it and I would follow up with him at a later time.
  20. firstborn

    New Here and SAD!

    Hi My name is Jenn, I was involved in a car accident almost two and half years ago. The accident was entirely my fault I wont go into any more than that. I remember my accident like it was yesturday. I hit a large parked vehcile, the impact crushed my entire foot. I remember slamming into the vehcile and spinning. When I climbed out of my car I attempted to walk only to fall flat on my face. I broke my foot and I remember thinking this surely can be fixed by a doctor. I was wrong I was mistreated and misdiagnosed and its has caused me so much pain. I have had many surgeries to put my foot back together and every single day I am in pain, walking is a huge chore. I have mentioned amputation to my boyfriend and family and they dont want to accept it. My orthopedic dr is willing to do the surgery but I can not get the strength to follow up with it. I am so scared of what my future holds. I have been with my current job only for the fact I have health insuance, and worry if I switch jobs the procedure will be denied because it will be consider pre existing. I blame myself every day for the accident. I dont know how to look myself in the face without being so disappionted in me. I am here looking for answers and I dont know how to make such a life changing decision without being scared to death of the outcome.
  21. firstborn

    New Here and SAD!

    I have an appointment to see my surgeon on May 5. I am read to move forward to have the surgery. I am hoping when I meet with him we can set up an appt for the procedure.
  22. firstborn

    New Here and SAD!

    This might be a stupid question but how do you come to the conclusion that the living hell you live from the pain is going to be better from an amp? Its a chance that you have to take, but I am so scared to face my family and my future. All I want in life is to be able to walk without pain again and not take the medications.
  23. firstborn

    New Here and SAD!

    Mick, Your right it has nothing to do with the people around. It has everything to do with me, and I am not sure why their opinion of my situation matters so much.
  24. firstborn

    New Here and SAD!

    You said it perfectly. I dont have a clear head. I have a mind that is weighed by my daily struggles. I am trying to see the end of the tunnel but its hard because all the distractions.
  25. firstborn

    New Here and SAD!

    Thank you all for the wonderful responses. When people look at me I look very healthy and they dont understand why I am in so much pain. I am only 26. When my accident happened I was working 10 hour shifts on my feet, so when I broke my foot nothing changed expect now I had to work on crutches. I was on cructhes for a good six months and then the doctor okay me to walk. I went through thearpy and that didn't help much. I could walk but the amount of pain I was in was horrible. I continued to go back to the doctor looking for answers and he basically said there is nothing more we can do except have more surgeries and see what the outcome is. I was highly upset because as more timed passed the less mobile I was becoming. I have learned to accept my pain, but I do rely on medication to get me through a day. My medicine has strong side effects so I cant stand taking them. My whole goal is to become the healthy person I was before all this. I have reached out to other amputees before coming to this forum. I have emailed and talked to a few people on the phone. The future outcome scares me the most. I am a college graduate and I want to be a productive person, not one who has to stay in bed all day. I do work full time but now I have a desk job that has helped my pain alot, and with that job came a huge pay cut. Like I stated before I am still with the same company because of my health coverage. I am afraid to swicth jobs, because I worry they wont cover me because what I have is consider pre existing.