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jberna

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Posts posted by jberna


  1. Tami, my friend! I am so glad you found the site. I think you will find a wealth of knowledge here. Even postings from a year ago can be helpful. I thought of you the other day, wanted to tell you to check out the topic titled "amputation relief", about people who had to choose, like you are, to have it done and whether they regretted it or not after. I would guess it is in the general forum, but I really think you would be helped by reading thru those responses.

    We are ALL here for you....just tell us the things you think no one else would understand and we probably will understand, we have been there too.

    WELCOME to our helpful little home! ;)

    judy

    utah

    LBK


  2. This is a very interesting question for me. I am glad to read there are others who felt "good" about their amputation. I totally understand that if I had cancer or a car accident and had no "choice" it would have been very different. But I had this awful foot that kept me from doing a lot of things I wanted to do, from the time I was a little child. I have not even come to my first anniversary and have not yet had a period of "saddness". I have had mostly fun, trying out the new things I missed all along.

    I have been in touch with a new friend, met thru my prosthetist, who has some kind of injury that is not healing, a lot like some friends here. I have told her to check in here, dont know if she has. This would be a great stream for her to read, she is very freaked out by the thought of having her leg gone forever.

    It is nice to know we all can support each other no matter how we came to amputation or how much we fight it. I treasure my friends here.

    judy

    utah

    lbk


  3. I have been mulling over a thought recently and am just now getting around to typing it out. I do honestly "carry" you guys with me when I go about my day. It is the oddest feeling, to feel so connected to people I will never meet in person. I will be in a store and have a person approach me about my leg and think of this site, advice and discussions we have had. I will be at the park with my kids and walking up a slope, thinking about the friends I have here who have shared that they too struggle with slopes. I guess an amputees real life is so unique that to have such a large group of people "out there" who also understand is truly special.

    I was also thinking about abilities. I am a tall woman. My whole life I have been tall. And my whole life I have thought of my friends around me as being my height. It is not until I see pictures that I realize that I am a head taller than some of them! I think I feel the same way about you guys. I assume everyone has similar mobility abilities and it is just not the case. I am amazed when I read postings from people who are in a wheelchair and have lived their life that way, chosen not to do the prosthetic, and are as excited about life, outgoing and optimistic as people with two good legs. I am just so proud of everyone here for sticking with it, no matter what your abilities, and getting the most out of life. I am a lot more active than I have ever been before, do all I want during the day, shopping, bike riding, puttering around the house, but I still struggle with walking a long straight line. I had a long talk with my prosthetist about it yesterday, why the idea of just walking around the block with him intimidated me, even though I could ride the bike for an hour and not be phased....but it occured to me that we all have our "issues". I am not close to running marathons like brenda, but I have found contentment and satisfaction where I AM right now. And I have so many friends here who struggle much more than I do on a daily basis, but have attitudes that would never reflect that.

    It leads us all to feel accepted for where we are and encouraged if and when we go farther. That is why I love this website so much. ;)

    Judy

    Utah

    LBK


  4. I agree with slippery surfaces. I was just in a small store earlier today and it is raining out so once I stepped off the door mat at the entrance I was VERY aware of the floor, making careful steps. Not noticible to others, but I was very aware....

    I pay attention closely to stairs also. I was just getting confident on stairs when I went to the gym one day and tried going down foot over foot..I hit one stair and about wretched my knee. It was built at a different angle than every other stair and my body was expecting it to be the same. I hadnt noticed it before, when I would go down putting both feet on each step. So now I watch for irregularity in steps.

    Judy

    LBK

    Utah


  5. I dont know if I have anything to add here but first I have to say I completely understand the frustration that would come with those types of comments...like being an amputee isnt "that hard" for you because you know no other life. Thats like saying to a blind man, its okay that you are blind, it isnt hard for you, because you were blind from birth. Amputation is amputation, whether done in utero or in auto....(fun little play on words if I do say so myself!)

    Granted you might not have some mental trauma that others have from accidents...but isnt that the case in LIFE? Some of us have painful experiences from childhood to cope with, others grew up in very loving homes....so there is NO way to judge, esp a stranger, in how much he/she is "dealing with" at any given moment. That is my soapbox for the day!

    From my experience....I have such a twisted amputation story that I have to say my answer might not be typical. I still struggle with what to say to people. Generally they have asked me, and that gave me their interpretation right away, "did you have cancer?.....have you been an amputee since childhood?" Two questions I have been asked. Like I have said before I hate when they think I had cancer because that gives me credit for having gone thru something I cant imagine...I never had anyone tell me "its cancer"...never felt that my life was at stake, never went thru treatments/chemo....all things I dont know if I am brave enough to handle...yet by them assuming I had cancer, they assume I fought this brave fight that I didnt have to. Does that make sense?

    So in my case, I chose to have this done, dragged around a deformed foot until that point. People dont want to hear about deformed feet....so when I say I am a "new" amputee they think my "struggles" began in January...when in reality I have struggled iwth that foot for 37 years. I think usually I surprise people enough that they stop the questions...I say that I had a *bad* foot and they cut it off but this new one I have is fantastic and I get to do all I want with it. They generally say things like "Oh, thats great"...and move on.

    I agree with Johnny, that people are just naive and have limited knowledge. They only have their little realm of experience and you have to work with that and feel like you get to add to that knowledge.

    I am curious to see how others respond to this great question....

    Judy

    Utah

    LBK


  6. Marc, wanted to add my encouragement here too. I know that Johnny lost his leg to a cancer, may be the same kind you had. Privately email him and I know he will help you in any way he can.

    I agree with the other postings....let youreself relax. Something I learned at a grief support meeting once that really changed how I feel about hard times..."No means no for now, not for forever". Just because you are not up doing *everything* now doesnt mean this time next year you wont be. Give yourself time, we give you official permission....

    Keep us posted, and welcome to our little world. ;)

    Judy

    LBK

    Utah


  7. Sorry I am so late posting on this one...I also have the Renegade, LOVE it, but dont have a cosmesis yet. Just got my permanant socket and it needs some adjustments before I get the covering. I will ask 'my guy" tomorrow, about the covering question....if I can remember! :rolleyes:

    Hope it all works out for you...I love my renegade! Maybe privately email marcus, the guy on our site who works for Freedom...

    judy

    utah

    lbk


  8. Welcome Sang Cho! I just have to repeat what the others have said...there are plenty of fish in the sea, and my best advice in that area is "have confidence"...people are drawn to people who are confident and sure of themselves, one leg or two! :lol:

    Welcome to our little world and enjoy your stay!

    Judy

    Utah

    LBK


  9. I'm sorry to hear about your dad, Slim. :( Take your time adjusting to the amputee life...the other parts of life keep coming at you so you have to remember to pace yourself with the leg thing....

    Again, so sorry about your dad, what a hard time for you.

    Judy

    Utah

    LBK


  10. Love this discussion and will eagerly look up the sites you guys posted. I have always wanted to wear boots but with my weak/twisted foot and AFO brace it was never an option....this fall I have been eyeing all the styles...really LOVE the "rider" boots....my sister is the one who said to me, "duh, judy...what you are describing are horse riding boots!" (her daughter rides...)

    I look foward to wearing some this year. I wore my first ever pair of loafers on sunday...felt SO fabulous in them! The are similar to the boots Kaz posted but not as high around the ankle....just love them!

    I ended up getting mens (look just like the womens in this style) because my good foot is really wide and it fits my prosthesis better too. I would bet the riding boots would be the same right?...similar styles for men/women?

    THANKS again for starting this link....just love that I can now be a "shoe person!" :P

    Judy

    LBK

    Utah


  11. Sorry I didnt jump into this discussion earlier. I have had Iceross liners every time and have always cut them down. They came up too high on my thigh (I am a bk). Recently I got a new sport one and got a trial period of a week, where I had to decide if I wanted to keep it. It was hard to judge, since all my other liners had been about 3 cm shorter on top...it felt so tight and confining on my thigh. Once I was pretty sure I wanted to keep it I cut it off and have loved it ever since.

    BUT I also have problems with rashes of various kinds just around the rim of my liner. I had suspected it was the fact that more dirt and bacteria could sneak in there, just around the rim of the top, and that caused irritation. I try to keep it extra clean around there, dont fiddle with it during the day (while in shorts) like I used to, to keep the dirt to a minimum. Seems to help. I will soon be wearing long pants every day and wonder if that will help keep it "cleaner" also....it is cool here but I continue to wear shorts, so much easier to change socks, shoes, during the day. But soon the snow will fly and I will be forced back into jeans! :( (love the snow, just not the jeans!)

    Hope this helps someone....

    Judy

    LBK

    Utah


  12. I agree, we have experienced a great loss, losing Christopher Reeves. I feel for Dana, whose whole life was assisting him in the last nine years. How hard it will be to find a new life without him now. (and for his children).

    I remember the day I heard on the radio about his accident, can remember the stretch of highway I was on in KC Missouri....thought it was so tragic. Then was amazed as he perservered thru the years....and then shocked again yesterday as I heard again on the car radio, that we had lost him. Such a sad, sad day.

    I hope that now, wherever he is, he can see more clearly how much he touched so many lives, so far beyond the movies.

    Judy

    Utah

    LBK


  13. I got my newest issue of OandP magazine and there is a great article in it about Amy, who goes by "purdygirl" around here. She told us last spring about a movie she had been cast in and this article talks about what a great actress she is, and how her movie is coming out soon.....does anyone else get "OandP" magazine?

    Amy, if you are checking in, we are really proud of you...cant wait to see your movie!

    Judy

    Utah

    LBK


  14. I get so much joy out of reading these postings...so glad to hear josh is back on his feet. His cute picture still hangs on my fridge and all my kids know who "my josh" is! So glad it is going well for him. I cant imagine how hard it is to be the mom and have to watch a child struggle...I think it is much easier that *I* have to deal with the amputation, not one of my kids....you are a great mom, debbie!

    judy

    utah

    lbk


  15. WHOO HOO, good for YOU! (or Si, in this case!) :D

    I know the feeling...it IS great to be mobile again. Maybe we need to remind the ones going in for surgey soon that the rehab time, down time, just makes the walking time even sweeter!

    Congrats to you and your families!

    Judy

    LBK

    Utah


  16. Best of luck Ethan! I have to admit I was not really nervous before my surgery either...was just so ready to get on with it all....have not really struggled much emotionally after either. I had my few crying spells, related more to my mom not being here (died ten years ago) to see how great it all turned out for me...I know she would have been happy for me. Take the emotions as they come and dont ever judge yourself on them...everyone is different....that is why this forum is so great!

    Judy

    LBK

    Utah

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