Jump to content
Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
sokhon

I become a Man again!

Recommended Posts

I became a Man again!

While visiting Cambodia Trust on 23 December 2003, I met Mr. Tot Vey a landmine survivor coming at the Physiotherapy department forgetting the new artificial legs.

“I am Tot Vey 39 years old from Prek Ta Meim village, Prek Sdey commune, Koh Thom district, Kandal Province. My family has 3 sons and 2 daughters. My present occupation is cultivator and fisherman.

Fifteen years ago, I was a soldier of State of Cambodia. One day in May 1988, my Commander sent me to fight with Khmer Rouge in Pailin City. We lost and returned back to Samlot District. While walking across the Kra Nhoung river bank with my friends, I suddenly stepped on a POMZ2, the smoke and mud blew up, my friends and I fell down, I felt so much painful on my both legs and later on I was faint. When I woke up, I saw some military nurses around me at Samlot Hospital; they could not treat me and sent me to Hospital in Battambang Province. There, my both legs were cut and after a week they sent me to Military Hospital in Phnom Penh.

One month later, I was well and became an amputee. This was the result of War and my feeling told me that I was not a man anymore. What will happen to my poor family as I always sit in a wheel chair?

Fortunately, in year 1993 the Cambodia Trust outreach team came in my village seeing me cooking to feed my small child, they explained me about their activity and after that picked me to the Cambodia Trust clinic. I was taken care by the doctors of Cambodia Trust with accommodation and food provided. After one month and a half, I left the clinic with two lovely prosthetic legs and elbow crutches, and some money for transportation back to my home.

My family and villagers welcomed me, especially my small child; he was so much strange to see my new legs. People asked me a lot about my life in Cambodia Trust clinic. With new legs, I was very busy in agriculture and fishing. I have kept using these two legs for 10 years, now they were broken and today I come back to change them.

With the prosthetic legs provided by Cambodia Trust, my family life is changed. Every year as average we can collect 1,800 Kg of rice and I myself can earn $2.5 per day in fishing, also we grow some chicken. With these incomes, we have sent two sons to school with new clothes and books, repaired our house and especially I can go to everywhere or work as same as other people.

Without the support of Cambodia Trust, I can only cook and stay at home waiting for eat and become a big stone on my wife’s shoulder. But now, The Cambodia Trust makes the sun shining to my family, to the society and makes me become a Man again.

My family and I would like to thank so much Cambodia Trust and wish all Donors to continue supporting this charitable activity. Otherwise the poor and disabled Cambodian people will be fall down.

post-12-1094742744.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Sokhlon,

I am very inspired with Tot Vey's story.

Unlike the western world's people, he does not complain about minor things in life but appreciates that with the aid of his artificial legs he can be a good provider to his family.

From the picture it can be seen that the legs have been in very hard use in his occupations, agriculture and fishing. He really now needs a new pair.

I bet that all he wants is to have legs to be able to be a good provider to his family and he does not complain of other things like phantom pain, little discomfort etc. and does not take western style quick fix medicines, but lets his discomforts to heal natural way.

I am very sorry for my late reply for this thread and also sorry on behalf of other participants of this forum that they ignore this thread or are too embarrassed to reply (in all their comfort). I am sure that Tot Vey is a happier man than most of those who live much in comfort and wealth but complain. Complaining makes them unhappy, they do not appreciate what they have.

Thanks Sokhlon for bringing these stories to this forum, it may help people open their eyes to the real world. And appreciate how fortunate they are.

Kind regards,

Jukka

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Unlike the western world's people, he does not complain about minor things in life but appreciates that with the aid of his artificial legs he can be a good provider to his family.

Not everyone in the "Western World" complains. Even those who do may have very valid reasons. I'm sure there are plenty of whiners outside the "western world" too.

I bet that all he wants is to have legs to be able to be a good provider to his family and he does not complain of other things like phantom pain, little discomfort etc. and does not take western style quick fix medicines, but lets his discomforts to heal natural way.

Since when is it unnatural to want to be free from pain.

I am very sorry for my late reply for this thread and also sorry on behalf of other participants of this forum that they ignore this thread or are too embarrassed to reply (in all their comfort).

Don't apologize for me, I haven't been ignoring the stories. This thread has over 80 views. Someone's been here reading. There are not a lot of responses to this story, but all three of the other stories posted the same day all got responses. From what I've read in the forum, very few of us are relishing in "all our comfort".

Tot Vey's story and the others remind us of how fortunate we truly are. But what's with the "western world" bashing. You make it sound like we're all just a bunch of wimpy crybabies who can't handle reality. I've found people with amazing strength and perseverance on this forum. Besides that, who are you or anyone else to judge people based on their ability to deal with tough situations or the way they express themselves? I'm glad that people can come here and vent their pain and frustrations. It helps them work through it. Unfortunately, the majority of the world's population does not have access to the technology or resources that we "westerners" have. That's not to say that we are weak for taking advantage of what we have and that we are all lazy and comfortable. It just means that we need to realize that not everyone is so fortunate and we should all do what we can to help those that are less fortunate.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Bear Face,

My words were generic.

Is it wrong of feeling guilty of being part of that side of the planet's population that has exploited the other part to very sorry state?

Is there a need to defend unpleasant facts?

Why people from economically/ politically dominating world have right to be patriotic and the people from the beaten up or less known have no right to be patriotic?

This is an amp forum, we should be matured to accept our weaknesses, inclusive of being a spoilt brat. I accept that I am too, compared to people who had to endure more than myself.

Thanks for exposing the achilles heel. It may prompt for some healthy exchange of comments.

Kindest regards,

Jukka

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No Jukka I don't think there is anything "healthy" in this apart from the magnificent post from Sokhlon.

I accept any person regardless of race creed politics religion skin colour gender.

Unfortunately others do not.

Cat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[i accept any person regardless of race creed politics religion skin colour gender.

Unfortunately others do not.

]

Do you mean all of the others do not?

Jukka

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wasn't really talking about patriotism or the industrialized world's exploitation of the developing nations. On those points, I mostly agree with you. We could spend from now to eternity debating this, but I don't think feeling guilty benefits anyone.

Where I really took exception to your post is when you criticized people for seeking medical treatment for phantom pain and other discomforts. I'm no fan of "popping pills" myself, but I am also not a fan of chronic pain. I am one of the fortunate few who haven't experienced severe pain from my amputation. We all need to recognize everyone's different levels of tolerance to pain and varying health conditions. It doesn't matter where you are from or your religious and political beliefs, pain is pain and everyone deserves to have his/her health and dignity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Warning to veveryones , this contains emotional outbursts so dlelete of you see fiot .

Experiment time everyyonee . OK , take this litle finger tip pricking thingie and prick the tip of your finger and take the one teeny weeny drop of blood and place it on the glass slide in fronty og yuou . Done ? goood . Now , leave the room and i'll let you know when you can come back inn.

OK , come back in and sit down in your chairs . you will have noticed that infront opf each of youn is a glass slide with a droop of blood . you will alos notice that i have added a few extra slides that are still sitting in the middle of the table . Hmmmm . whats going on here ???????????????? Has slushy gurl gone mad ? ( answer at end of post )

You know sopmething , we seem to be soo driven to SAY that we do wondeffull things for huimanity but lets REALLY take a look at the things we REALLY do . We discrimintate against all those who are different than we are , we judge those who are different than us to be not worthy of the same rights that ALL humans are entitled to have .

Look at outr ownn personal examples as a pertdfect way for me to try an dmake my ppoint . it didn't matwer that we are blonde or brunette , thin or heavey , dark or light skinned , rich or poor , tall of short . blues yed ot green eyes , straigght or gay , NONE of that mattered , WE all are dealing wiuth the VEREY same isues here and while we have the abilitiy to express this HERE , there are many millions more who dealk with the very same things but are not heard from yet , they too feel pain , and everythingwe do ... we just dont hear about it .

WHY ? EASY , we live in a worlfd that is totaly driven by ONE thing ... GREED and PROFIT . Lets face it , there is no incentive for any company to help any one person or group of people who they know will NOT have the ability to pay for the services they recieve so , why help them they say . When we devalue life to the point that onl;y those who have a hope of generating large profits to comapianies , we are no better than those we have rwead about in history books .

It seems that we are not so smart as we thinked after all . we am ethe same mistakes over an dover , not learning for history but rather than admit our stupidity , we cover then up differeantly and find new ways to hide our mistakes . As long as big companies are greed and profit driven , human rigts , environmental isues , animal rigts will never move ahead because as i tried to say earlier , it is not profitiable to help those who can't pay in the first place .

Yes , we are soooooooooo smart that we are somehow able to decide logiacly who is worthy of living pain free and who is not . we can decide who will have the right to have a normal life and who will not . Hmmmm , waht ever happened to QUALITY of life and dignity of life ? Oh yaaa , i forgt , not profitable either .

Oh yaa , rememebr the experioment i talked about in the beginning ? Well , just by looking at the drop of blood , can you tell who is rich , poor ligt , dark , and so on ? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO ?????????? well , why not try to then blindly help ALL humanity equaly . When we treat a segemrnt of our society as nothing more than disposable popel , we not only do the3e obvious in devaluaing thier lives but , we also devalue our own . I wonder , i mean like waaaay wonder , have we really evolved as much as we think or do we simply have taller building than our cavemen people who lived before us .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unlike the western world's people, he does not complain about minor things in life but appreciates that with the aid of his artificial legs he can be a good provider to his family.

Jukka first I like to ask, who the H@#& are you to speak for the western world's people???? Being one of those people, I can speak very clearly for myself, thank you kindly. So I'd appreciate it, if in the future, you wouldn't reach the conclusion that it's all the Western World's People, it would be far more appropriate to speak of the ones in which you know this to be true!!!

Now, am I to assume that you're referring to, "complain about minor things" that am amputation is a 'Minor' thing, to complain about, if one so choose, how dare you. You must be a very lonely bitter person, to only find the bad about people's lives. Let me just say, I try not to complain, but if I did, it has nothing to do with you! When I am directly complaining to you then, and only then should you feel the right to say I or anyone else, complain about minor things in life!! Also for your info, I appreciate the aid of my prosthetic limb, but apparently it doesn't seem that you do, for the simple reason if you appreciated all that your prosthetic leg has done for you, you'd find better things to do with your time, than to come on here and insult the manner in which we live. So to you I say, open your own I eyes and just maybe you wouldn't have to find fault with so many others. You've gotta fix what's inside, before you can feel outside!!

Sheila

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for the second message to this as i forgtted to say somehting i thinked i had to say but , this has also made me angry so i have to say this .

JUKKA , i thiunk you are not correct in your saying that those of us in thew west tend to use quick fixes for pain and discomfort . Perhaps i need to remind that about 25 years in the OLD Soviet Block countries there were two claasses of people there too , those whop had nothing , the regular people and those in the polut bureu whp had everything . You will also note that the HAVES has special towns and cities made just for them which were off limits to the have nots . This OFF limits stuff also includced the medical treatment that was also segragated accordingly . EASTERN block countries , If we now look at more modern times , we have to now look at CHINA an dNorthkorea who again still practice this type of segragation for the HAVES and have NOTS .

JUKKA , reagrdless of who a person is life , where they are from and what they belive in , EVERYONE has the SAME right to QUALITY of life as the next person an dif this means taking a pills or seeing a shrink or whatever , i don't think that either you or i are qulaified to suggest otherwise . as i wroted in my post a bit fathher up , we are ALL the same inside and when we devalue ONE life , we devalue our own as well .

Oh yes , i see a shrink once a week to deal with many issues and there is no shame in that . You know why ? It HAS helped me and i submit that had i not had a god one like i hav enow , i may very well have " checked out " long ago . Please dopn't eithe rcompare one style of medical intervention with thatof another becuase wghat may work for one will not always work for another person . LIFE IS LIFE IS LIFE IS LIFE ... no one is imune to it's whims ... NO ONE .

I would like to use a quote that was sent to meee from anoyther4 wonderfull person and perhaps thsi will help makee thingn gs cleerer :

" ... As humans, we're not perfect by any means, but don't be judgemental of another, until you've lived their life. ... "

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kabooom,

Bitter, lonely? Am I sensing a personal attack?

It is hard to be bitter when enjoying all the comforts of developed world, so it was a wrong assumption.

It would be nice to be a bit more lonely as in this hecticity of business & profit minded culture one can hardly get to enjoy that loneliness.

The right assumption would have been that the fellow feels disgusted of the state of world order and how that order seem never get fair to all.

I think it is the achilles heel that hurts (judging from the reaction).

I already mentioned that what was said was generic in nature. I believe in shock treatment in many areas, including the raising of awareness, and I am not asking everybody to agree with me.

No bad feelings and let us try to get back the lost civilisations (for us individuals: the civility).

By the way, isn't it an anniversary day today?

Kind regards,

Jukka

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jukka do you not think your sweeping statements are a personal attack on anyone you categorised? You obviously have a very dim awareness of the western world if you think everyone lives in comfort-there's poverty just the same and if our countries are developed it's because we had to face all of the same hardships, civil wars, disease and so on in the process and work really hard to get where we are. Here in the UK, my own ancestors were massacred in their thousands, stripped of land, title, right to practice their religion, anything of value etcetc by invaders, only it happened a longer time ago.

I had so far refrained from comment on the posts because the one thing that strikes me is that while Sokhon goes to great pains to raise awareness about amputees in Cambodia, he was also a Khmer Rouge soldier and in case most of you aren't aware under the regime of Phol Pot many thousands of Cambodians died and suffered appalling atrocities at the hands of these people, and I am sorry to say I have a BIG problem with that, whether he is an amputee or not. That was at the hands of Cambodians NOT westerners, just like in many developing countries where the people are caused immeasurable suffering at the hands of their own countrymen who seem incapable of sufficient civility still in the 21st Century to resist the urge to rape, pillage, maim and massacre. Funny then how these evil horrible westerners living in the lap of luxury are the ones always expected to have the human kindness to travel half way round the globe and help any which way they can faced with constant peril etc etc. Sooooo Jukka, if you want someone to berate and take out your own personal twisted skew on life, the universe and everything, happen you should start looking a little closer to home before pointing the finger at us nasty awful comfortable westerners.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
By the way, isn't it an anniversary day today?

Perhaps you could also explain what exactly this comment is supposed to mean???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm all for having respectful discussions illustrating everyone's different points of view, but threads like this can get out of hand sometimes.

All I'll say for now is 'tread lightly everyone'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Laura-it's Jukka who is out of hand here making insulting and extremely offensive remarks. I sincerely hope it is the intention of admin to place a ban on him because I just don't think there's a place for that attitude on this board whatsoever, thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think a ban is a little harsh don't you? :ph34r:

I mean, forums are meant to be open for debate and Jukka is entitled to his opinions as you are to yours.

However, we are straying from the original POSITIVE message ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think a ban is a little harsh don't you?

Well, most of us thought the same when Eric and others got banned but it didn't stop admin. then so the least I think is that we are entitled to a little consistency. It does clearly state in the conditions of use for this board that people are not to post insulting remarks and so on and I actually happen to think Jukka definitely falls into that category. He made offensive remarks about why people have not replied to the original post and I explained that I for one am deeply uncomfortable with the hypocritical nature of the poster and the posts. I do think Jukka should be banned as a result because the nature of his posts are intentionally offensive and bigotted and very little else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ah yes, I see it was Tot Vey who was the Khmer Rouge soldier. Sorry Sokhon. Even so, this is what made me feel uncomfortable about this story-am I supposed to empathise with someone who has in all probability committed heinous acts on innocent people? Notwithstanding all this I was deeply offended by Jukka's comments and the sick little comments about 'us westerners', and I just tend to think he's a real sad case :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dearest Cazzy,

I welcome your suggestion to ban the foreigners from the forum. It proves my earlier point on another thread. This forum seems to be highjacked by dialogue relevant only to one North American country. I wonder wheater Heather Mills meant it to be that way. Where are we leaving other amps in the world? Kindly bother to peep into the personal details of the participants of this forum, Mine would have a picture in it where you can see that I am a westerner too. How is yours left more or less blank, cannot we be a bit more open about ourselves? Openness has relevance to honesty.

Where is Sokhon left now; he was accused of being Khmer Rouge soldier, saying sorry is not enough. And Tot Vey; did he know on whose side he was when (and if) he joined Khmer Rouge. I would recommend reading a book "Heaven and Earth Changed the Places" by Li Ly Hayslip (probably wrong spelling). It gives an insight to people's lives who are pulled from all the directions to take sides in a war, before accusing people of committing heinous war crimes. These are people in poverty trap, who have no choice. Someone gives empty promises to them and they follow. And who supply the arms and ammunition to these people and countries: well, they are the ones who produce them and there are not many directions where to point the finger. This is big business, the product must be used up (killing and maiming people), so that more can be made, to make more money.

All I am asking is a little more recognition of and respect for also those less fortunate amps from third world. And I also wish participation from the whole globe to get more depth to this forum as the discussion is at present very superficial (and a little hippocracy too).

Now I am awaiting the decision whether non-anglos are welcome to this forum or not and whether the recommendation for ban is gaining ground.

Sincerely,

Jukka

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jukka sorry is more than enough-who buys these arms eh? I walk past shops each day where knives are sold but i don't go in buy one and kill someone with it-stop making pathetic excuses for people who do things like this. You say these people suffer poverty but who SPENDS the money on things other than humanitarian and developmental investment. You talk like people in these countries are not responsible for their own actions just because they are poor-oh please, I've heard it all now. Are you telling me, Arab militia are charging round Sudan for example because they are poverty stricken and forcing thousands to flee and face starvation and disease. How much DOES the average machete cost in Sierra Leone these days anyway while we're on the subject-I think you have some real issues that you need help with Jukka, but while you talk to people like that noone's really going to feel like entering into discussion with you. You have once again come bouncing onto this forum with nothing but spit and venom making racist hateful comments and you are by no means the only 'foreigner' here, and none of the rest of us get banned because we can all conduct ourselves like civilised adults, which you seem totally incapable of-I don't know what the hell you are rattling on about personal details for either, what it has to do with you I have no idea anyway, but if I choose to keep such information private that is my choice and your rather demented behaviour is a great example of why I choose to do so, thanks. Go take a chill out pill and learn some basic manners and respect then people might have some time for any valid point you might be trying to make on here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would first like to say that I agree with Cazzy! I too find your remarks very insulting and offensive, which isn't the first time! :angry:

You know Jukka, Mandy is right, forums are meant to be open for debates. However, it seems to me you would rather just sit there and tells us Western's what we are doing or have done wrong, with your derogatory remarks. Here you are, a person who has NO recognition or respect for us Western's, but yet you want us to listen to your request in showing this to other's, talk about superficial.

I also would appreciate knowing what you're referring to, "isn't it an anniversary day today"???

Sheila

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
And I also wish participation from the whole globe to get more depth to this forum as the discussion is at present very superficial (and a little hippocracy too).

Jukka are you saying that because those of us who live in the west, live in the west, our being an amputee is superficial compared to someone in say Cambodia? Don't you think that is insulting to ANY amputee who has had to suffer a loss because I certainly do and once again is you attacking other people on this forum. And here's a polite suggestion, if you don't like it here or the members of the forum, maybe you'd be better off finding one that is more to your liking because you obviously would prefer to just offend and insult them, that much is obvious-it's a little thing we westerners like to call 'freedom of choice'..........

As for what Heather Mills would think, well that is not for me to say, but anyone from anywhere around the world is and always has been more than welcome to join this forum as far as I am aware, and prior to your being here there had never been any issue of prejudice even regarding the story of Tot Vey but since you made the accusation I felt compelled to respond honestly as to why people are probably not posting and to reply to what I consider to be a personal attack on a lot of members here-if you don't want to hear the answer don't ask the question is my advice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

See what I meant about threads like this getting out of hand and treading lightly?

I think it's time this thread was done, so it's closed. Thanks for understanding and helping preserve the peace in the forum.

LauraG

Moderator

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×