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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
eddie103

Never Mind the NIght!

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Hi All:

I've read the other thread about use of the biffy at night.

Interesting.

With so many newbies in the world with many using this site, perhaps some real semi personal insights as to techniques are called for.

Now I know how I "function" process wise but I do not have a clue as to how a one legged person acomplishes this.

I bring this topic up as it is a basic facet of being human. I have personally instructed two other legless persons via email and in person to my processes. When I was fresh - trust me - there was no one around to help out.

Sooooooooooo to start the ball rolling, I will include ED's inital "Legless 101 Biffy Techniques":

1.roll your chair so that you are facing the toilet.

2. lock your brakes

3. shuffle to the edge of your chair

4.Use any available grip / surface / bar / whatever to help steady yourself.

5.Slide onto the seat.

6. Rotate 180 degrees if you want (its more natural)

7. Complete your business

8.Reverse yourself and slid yourself back into the wheelchair seat

Not so simple hey - but it works.

I will include EDs "Legless 101 Biffy Techniques" later on if you people roll the ball with this one

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Ok I'll join in.

1. Kinda wake up

2. Feel uncomfortable (am I dreaming?)

3. Try to go back to sleep

4. Dammit!!

5. Sit on side of bed and shake head

6. Hop

7. Hop over dog sleeping in the doorway

8. Arrive

9. Turn and sit

10. Try not to wake up too much

11. Um.....you know

12. Flush

13. Hop

14. Hop over dog again but because your not really awake get your foot caught and tumble to the ground waking everyone in the house with giggles.

15. Stare at ceiling

16. Roll around in bed

17. Go back to sleep

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Cat, so what happens at pos. 11?, ...buddhist chanting ?? please explain .... haha ...

No, better not come to think of it :lol: :D

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HI All:

For those who do not know, I think Cat is using an artificial foot. What I think Cat should pass on are some of the "mechanics" used in the biffy. i.e. supports etc.

Cat: Please fill us in - you see I cannot hop so I have no idea. Does a person such as you hop in a circle? Do you hold your stump end "out"? Does a person like you "lower" to the seat or do you just crash?

I want this thread to be somewhat serious. Newbies are having to deal with this STAT!!

ED

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Hey - I just noticed that I have reached "super member" status!!!

Ok - ED's "Legless 101 Biffy Techniques" Lesson II

Scenario - Your in a wheelchair / no arti legs / have a need / biffy has a tub next to it in the bathroom / wheelchair DOES NOT fit through the bathroom door.

Prerequisites:

-Must be able to get out and back in the chair to and from the floor.

-must be able to lift one's body weight

Procedure:

1. Scouch on the floor

2. close the d-- door

3. make your way to the biffy

4. back up and wedge yourself between the toilet and the bath tub

5. place one hand on the tub edge, the otheron the "far close to the front edge" of the toilet

6.pray to God and use both arms to lift your body while swinging your butt at the top of the lift onto the seat.

7.finnish

Dismount I:

1.wobble to the toilet edge closest to the tub

2. place one hand on the tub edge, the other on the toilet seat

3.lower yourself "slowly"

Dismount II:

1.make a fist with your best strongest hand

2.aim this one at the floor, the other hand on whatever you can find for semi support

3.lean off the seat until your strong hand either meets the floor or is as close as possible to the floor.

4.let yourself "control fall" unto the strong fist.

Get yourself back into your chair

Hints and Cheet Sheets:

1. it may be considered to disrobe the out garment prior to a lift

2.it is easier to get the out robe on after dismounting to the floor (may be a little safer until experienced.

3.If your chair is in the room, it can make a great reading desk while one is busy so bring along some material.

ED

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well i kinda sit up

turn to end of my bed so that my stumps are dangling over the edge

fall on to my knees

crawl along bedroom to toilet

use bath and toilet seat to hitch my self up on

go!!!!!

jump down on to knees

crawl back to bed and

hitch mysewlf into bed and sleep....

Another random questions, can you turn in the night? I have to physically sit up to turn.....? hmm perhpas its just me

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See girly_wales:

This is important stuff. Newbies need to know this. I would never have imagined this process.

When you "jump" on your knees, is this a hard landing?

As to your other statement, personally, I turn many times per night no issue.

ED

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Another Scenario:

ED's "Legless 101 Biffy Techniques for the bilateral aka" Lesson III

Scenario:

Same as lesson II except there is NO tub edge close to the biffy. In almost all cases there is usually a counter next to the toilet.

Prerequisites:

-Must be able to get out and back in the chair to and from the floor.

-must be able to lift one's body weight

Procedure:

1. Scouch on the floor

2. close the d-- door

3. make your way to the biffy

4. face the toilet and wedge yourself between the biffy and the counter.

5. place one hand on the rim.

6. place the other arm on the surface of the counter using your entire forearm

7. pray to God and simutaneously lift with the hand and forearm and swing your butt whichever way onto the seat.

8. get comfortable

9. finish

Dismount I:

1. wobble to the side edge of the seat

2. place your forearm on the counter surface

3. fist your other hand and lean towards the floor

4. use both the surface of the counter and the floor to lower yourself down

5. get back into your chair

Dismount II:

1. make a fist with both hands

2. lean off the seat until both fists meet the floor or are as close as possible to the floor.

3. let yourself "control fall" unto both fists.

Get yourself back into your chair

ED

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well i dont suppose its a hard landing, prehaps id call it a "controlled fall"

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Well I see that everybody is still sleeping soooooooo

ED's "Legless 101 Biffy Techniques for the bilateral aka" Lesson IV

Also known as the infamous "Belly Flop"

Scenario:

You are out somewhere having a bunch of drinks at a friend's cottage. After a while you have "the need". To your horror you discover that your friend has installed a toilet but the putz neglected to put anything around that you can use as a helper. The door to the biffy is too small for your chair or perhaps you have bummed your way in and don't have a chair.

Prerequisites:

-must be able to lift one's own body weight

Procedure:

1. Scouch on the floor

2. close the d-- door

3. make your way to the biffy

4. fist your weakest hand and place it on the floor

5. place your strongest hand on the back part of the seat

6. a co-ordinated life is required while at the same time swinging your torso sideways.

7. once completed you should be belly down on the seat.

8. use whatever to get yourself upright and rotate into position.

9. fulfill the need

Dismount I:

1. make a fist with both hands

2. lean off the seat until both fists meet the floor or are as close as possible to the floor.

3. let yourself "control fall" unto both fists.

Get yourself back into your chair

ED

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ED's final Lesson to date:

ED's "Legless 101 Biffy Techniques for the bilateral aka" Lesson V

Scenario:

You have legs!! And you are pretty good with them. You are past the stage of mucking around rehab with a walker.

Prerequisites:

- two functioning leg units

- at least one cane around you

Procedure:

First of all, as of this time, the washroom needs to be an equipped one, that is, have at least one grab bar (hopefully on the side you will need it).

1. drop your drawers and anything you else you have to while in the standing position.

2. turn around so you are preparing to lower

3. weakest hand on the grab bar / strongest with the cane

4. control lower

WARNING: as a bilateral aka, you are landing plastic shells on plastic seat - EXTREMELY SLIPPERY!!!!!!DANGER DANGER

5. stabilize yourself with whatever you can - move slowly - pray to God that the paper roll is long enough for you to reach it!!

6. complete the need

Hints: Make sure the paper roll is long enough BEFORE you start / extend your leg units to help with stability

Getting Back Up:

As a person with no human knee, you have a problem!!!!!

1. make sure you are as stable as you can be.

2. extend one foot away from you

3. use the grab bar and your cane to lift at the same time

4. at the peak of the lift you need to rock forward on the extended foot so that your one knee will lock

Notes: Congratulations - you are up BUT everything you own is down around your simulated ankles.

5. face the wall and lean on it with your forehead. This frees both hands.

6. Haul those puppies up / do up your belt or whatever while leaning on the wall with your head

7.FLUSH!!!

ED

ED

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Ed, you certainly have a way with words, I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but I'm in tucks :P :D :lol:

No offence meant but I have a very vivid imagination!!! B)

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No offence taken Pam.

We know it's the Bacardi talking :D :P :rolleyes:

Cat

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Sorry Ed, just picking myself up off the floor, fell off my chair I was LAUGHING so much, by the way it's a bit early for the bacardi!!!! :D

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Just a thought to the HOPPERS on the board or BIFFERS UMMM You could really screw up you knee one night hopping over the dog. YOu will be needing that knee for the rest of you life. Yes Mine is not in great shape and I am only 43. (non skier)

ANother annyoing thing about motion with one leg, When I swim I have horrible direction, usually in circle.

Unique

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I hurt my good knee once.

At work.

Standing completely still.

With my leg on.

Never once had a problem with hopping.

Cat

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I used to hop a lot and never had any problems, but it does put a lot of strain on your knee/ankle as there is very little shock absorbtion, so although it is an easy way of getting about it could very well lead to problems in later life....

Having said that usually when I wake up needing a wee speed is of the essence and I'll get there the quickest way possible!

Mike

RBK

Scotland

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Just a note as to unique's statement about swimming (off on a tangent = so here we go):

Swimming:

As a no legged person, I swim rather well. I can dog paddle, side stroke, breast stroke, swim on my back and tread water very well (suprised?).

When it comes to a front crawl though I suck as my body just doesn't work properly with that stroke.

I have discovered that I cannot drown. Seems that my pontoons keep me up better than any life preserver.

ED

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Dear Ed,

I don't really know where the expression originated, but to say you're 'in tucks' means laughing loads, which you make me do a lot, so keep it up, at this time of year I need all the help I can get to keep me from getting depressed. :(

By the way, yesterday we had rain, sleet, hailstones, snow, thunder and lightening all at the same time, the weather is getting more weird every year, today its sunny and cold, you wouldn't even know it had been snowing. :huh:

Well I'm being typically English, talking about the weather, but it is fascinating, don't you agree? B)

As for swimming, I have rediscovered it since my amp, and I absolutely love it. The pool where I go (hydropool at my physio department) has been closed over Christmas as they are retiling part of it, hopefully it will reopen next week. I was really worried the first time I went, the physio said to take it slowly as I might tip over, being off balance, but it didn't affect me at all, its the best form of exercise I have had for ages. :rolleyes:

Take Care

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To PamR:

Sorry, I don't mean to make you laugh. Most tims I am very serious but I do know that my bluntness can cause this reaction to some.

ED

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Hi All:

Figured I would bring this one back to the top as I "ran" into a situation that I had not addressed in this thread.

::: The Non Disabled Equipped Bathroom :::

I just have returned from TO (Toronto) where I stayed in a suite that was "normal".

Situation:

The bathroom configuration was not one that I had experienced before. The bath tub was on one side................the toilet facing it well over to the opposite side.........no grip bars available.............just a towel rack one one side that had already been repaired from some wacko ripping it off.........I need to be in "butt" mode.

Defeating the bathtub:

1. Studied the area and decided I needed "something" to use.

2. Looked around / found a plastic "recycle" bin elsewhere in the suite.

3. Took this to the tub area / turned it upside down / used it as a "butt step" to get a bit higher

4. Reached over, as previous, to get on the tub edge

5. Lowered myself as always into the tub.

6.Reversed all processes until dry.

Defeating the toilet:

1. Considered the infamous "Belly Flop" proceedure..........rejected that as the wall was too close so that either my stumpii or my face would have gone through the plaster

2. Reversed lift with a combination of a forward lean combined with a backwards butt swing until firmly "planted".

3. A wee push-off from the far tub edge until balance obtained (thank Christ!)

4. Had to leave the dam door open (good thing no one was around ....and if they came in...........too bad!) so I could use the door edge as a prop (when needed!)

5. Three point "butt splat" to floor when finished.

ED

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I am sorry but I have only just read all these posts. Am a bit concerned as am new to this game and have noticed a distinct lack of hygiene.

As an amputee do we no longer need to wipe!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wash and clean after using the bathroom!

Does the lack of legs and the continual cleaning of stumps mean that I can 'point percy at the porcelain' without worrying about germs!!!!!!(p.s. I cant point anything cos I am female but hey it was worth a laugh no!)

I have to admit that as a reasonable new amputee but a long term disabled person I have found all the suggestions for toilet usage very useful.

Rachel

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