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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
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Peter Cook & Dudley Moore...classic

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Theatrical agent ( Peter ): Now Mr. Spiggott,

I couldn't help noticing almost at once that you

are a one-legged person.

Spiggott ( Dudley, hopping energetically and trying

to retain his balance): You noticed that?

Theatrical agent: I noticed that, Mr. Spiggott.

When you have been in the business as long as I

have you come to notice these little things almost

instinctively. Now, Mr. Spiggott, you, a one-legged man,

are applying for the role of Tarzan - a role which

traditionally involved the use of a two-legged actor.

Spiggott: Correct.

Theatrical agent: And yet you, a unidexter,

are applying for the role.

Spiggott: Right.

Theatrical agent: ....... A role for which two legs

would seem to be the minimum requirement.....

Your right leg I like. I like your right leg.

A lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when

I saw you come in. I said, " A lovely leg for the role."

I've got nothing against your right leg.

The trouble is - neither have you.

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