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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
dumbarton

New Devotee Site

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Hi everyone:

Today I've had 3 emails "inviting" me to join a new devotee site. I was so bloody mad. They new my name and also new I was an amputee, let alone they also knew which leg, and where my amputation was done (Glasgow).

I know they could pick things up from this site, but has anyone else had any of these bloody emails.

There really are some queer b-s-a-rds around.

It's really amazing, I never even heard of these people until about a year ago!

Lynne

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Hi Lynne

You know the sadoooooooooooooooooo's used to photograph us & still do!!!! Playing soccer, there are sites full of pic' of amps.

I watched aTV show about devotees a couple of years ago and they are real sick puppies. :unsure:

As our site becomes more popular we have to watch out for this, so sorry your privacy has been violated by these ghouls.

If we suspect we are being targeted what can we do?? Johnny??

PJ :(

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I don't know about the policies here and I'm sure my views will be unpopular. I have no problem with devotees if they are attracted to my stump as long as they are respectful. And I know some who are. I do have a problem with unsolicited email or taking photos without my permission but these things happened to me as a pre amputee. There are sick men and women out there that aren't devotees. Simply being attracted to stumos does not make you sick in my opinion. I've never had a devotee just paw at me like I have had men do when I still had all limbs.

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This is really not on, especially for a forum like this. There are tons of other sites who cater for devotees and amputees.

My concern has always been for the newer amps, who perhaps haven't run into this kind of stuff. Having your info picked up from a site like HMM can be a shocker. Old amps like me can deal with those kind of advances much easier - I have no qualms telling someone to piss off.

As far as I can see, there is no hard and fast rule in this forum where they say that devotees are not welcome. Perhaps this is something that all the members need to decide on. Are they welcome, or are they not?

Personally, I would like to see this site as a safe place for amputees.

Just my thoughts,

Ally

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Just add them to your spam filter Lynne. You could try reporting them to your ISP but are unlikely to get very far.

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That's good advice, Muz, but it's still unsettling & 'not on' ! :angry: How did they get hold of your email address, Lynne? And, three emails...isn't one more than enough?

I agree with Ally: There needs to be some forum consensus about this and I think that this forum should remain a 'safe' amp site. After all there are plenty of 'dev' sites out there, aren't there?!

Lizzie

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Jeeeez this is something else I'm learning about ...

See what I mean??? It's quite a thing to wrap your head around, that there are people out there who get a hard on just thinking about your stump!

We, as amputees, share some VERY personal stuff on this forum.

Lynn - the best you can do is completely ignore the mails. Don't answer them, or you will be flooded. If the person has mailed you from this forum, perhaps the mods will help you get rid of the unwanted attention. Like booting the bugger.

Yes Lizzie - there are TONS of groups out there who cater for dev's and amputees. I run a Yahoo group that does just that. But that is an entirely different kettle of fish.

Sigh - and then the dev's run around crying that they aren't understood. Hurts my brain, I swear it does.

Ally

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:angry:

Where do these people come from or am I being polite when I call them people.If they are that interested let's make it compulsory that they have to have an Amputation to join our club anyone out there willing to abide by our rule's ? I dont think so.

Pat.

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:lol: :lol: Careful now Pat - you will start another heated debate with that one.....

There are thousands of BIID sufferers out there, or wannabes, who spend every minute of every day hatching plots and plans on how to get rid of one (or more) of their limbs. Ways of realising this include packing with dry ice (popular), leaping in front of trains (not so popular anymore because they have realised that the train will drag you along and damage your face), chain saws, shot guns....ah, the list goes on.

Couple to that all the REALISED wannabes.....you are going to get a HOARD of people who are gonna join us and wax on lyrical about the joys of amputation, and how they are finally 'complete'.

I bumped into one guy who managed to become an LBK and he really believed that he would make a good peer visitor, simply because he viewed amputation as a positive thing. :angry: Eish, my aching petunia.....

So to answer your question about people abiding by our rules......be careful what you ask for....

:P

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My 2 cents....

I could care less what people get off on, but I would think that devotees would be better off on another site.

Linda

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I agree with Linda. I also firmly believe that this should be a safe place to visit. I hate to think that somebody's out there getting off when we're having personal discussions. :angry: But is there really any way to keep the unwanteds off the site?

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But is there really any way to keep the unwanteds off the site?

Not really if they remain hidden, but I have a suspicion that after a while people get to know who they are as their true characters emerge.

As for getting hold of e-mail addresses that's quite easy and has been discussed before. If you've ever publicly posted your address or submitted it on a non secure site, it's available to anyone who wants it. To be honest I just find that side of it a minor inconvenience as most of the crap ends up in my junk mail folder. I merely scan the headers to see if I recognise the address (Spam filters sometimes dump wanted mail as well) and then consign it to the trash pile.

Now if you had a real nasty streak you could always target one of these sicko's, play up to them and glean as much personal info as you can such as place of work, husband/wifes name etc. Get them to e-mail you dogy photo's then when you've had enough copy all the info and conversations into one big letter and post it to their boss and family. :lol: B)

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I joined Ally's group. She mentioned it at a different site not affiliated with this one. I have had nothing but respectful emails sent to me there. I had more trouble with spam and other unwanted emails at a site where the main focus is travel and food. I had a man there ask all sorts of personal sexual questions. Don't blame all devs for the actions of some. Unwanted email can come from any source. As to how they got your email it is in yout message. At the bottom of your post is your profile and email. I don't know if they can access it without becoming a member but they certainly can if they joined. I am sorry that you are receiving it. When this happened to me I changed my email at that site and kept it private. As I was using the old one only for that site I knew that all messages from then on were unwanted.

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Hi Lynne

I am so sorry this has happend to you, and I worry that new people who sign in and dont put any information are the ones we should worry about, because they can get anything you put in your profile, and I hope its not what it is, but remember its the devils way of working.

God Bless.

Lesley

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Hi Lynne, I'm sorry you had to go through that kind of B S :angry: and you're so right, there are a lot of freakin weirdos out there. :blink: I can't imagine how they got your e-mail, plus knew so much about you, unless they perhaps were a member here at one time....dunno??? What I'd say is, just ignore the nuts, they'll go away eventually, once they know you're not gonna play their sick games.... I hope!! :)

Of course everyone has a right to their own opinion. However, for people who want to get a thrill off from other people's missing body parts, is NOT the kind of people I care to be friendly with, b/c I'm not here to give some sick puppy a thrill, as I don't believe most of us are, but instead to help other amps cope and to know their not alone out there, that we do sincerely care about one another. Please lets keep this a 'safe' site and let them have their sick fun on another site!! :P Just my opinion. :D

Sheila lbk

Maine USA

Keep Smiling :)

post-7-1132365726.gif

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Next time one of them asks you for a picture of your stump, feel free to indulge them with this. . .and don't forget to tell them that it smells like a dirty shoe  :wub:

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Bet some of them weirdo's think that's top quality porn :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Bet some of them weirdo's think that's top quality porn

You could probably safely bet your damn house on that.

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I'm not sure if I like the idea of the photo, Marcus - probably had something to do with it looking so revolting & that I'd just had my breakfast! :)

But, Muz had a better idea ;):

play up to them and glean as much personal info as you can such as place of work, husband/wifes name etc. Get them to e-mail you dogy photo's then when you've had enough copy all the info and conversations into one big letter and post it to their boss and family.

Seriously though, is there any way to protect the genuine members of this forum from being approached by these 'people'? I understood that the dev/amp relationship is usually very destructive (for the amp) as not only does the devotee like the look of the residuum, he (& I think it usually is a he) prefers to dominate the relationship. It all sounds quite nasty and abusive to me! :wub:

I prefer people to like me for who I am & not what I am: Person first & disability much, much later!

Lizzie

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Hi Guys: I'm not sure it came from this site?

I really don't give a damn I think I was just really shocked.

Maybe you guys can help me with one question that bothered me the most. HOW DID THEY KNOW MY AMP WAS DONE IN GLASGOW? BECAUSE I NOW LIVE IN CANADA.

That was the biggest problem I had.

I don't remember if I told anyone on this site, that my amputation was done in Glasgow, Scotland?

Does anyone remember me "saying that"???? :wub::angry::angry:

I'd appreciate if if you guys could put on your thinking cap on? :D

Thanks Guys,

Lynne

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You can search this or any other site you particpate on for your old posts. you could try searching the site for Glasgow.

If you post at different sites and post DIFFERENT things at each you can probably trace which site they got the info from. Try giving these spammers false info. Use different screen names and email for various sites if necessary.

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Try here

You could deduce from what you had written there that your op was performed in Glasgow (although it wouldn't have been clear if it was Glasgow or Liverpool). If you've posted other info elsewhere it can all add up to quite a lot of info about you. You'll probably find this e-mail was auto generated anyway so I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it. If on the other hand it's from someone you know then definitely report them to their ISP.

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This is probably where I alienate myself from the rest of the group as perverse & I have not been here that long :lol:

I call myself an amputee artist/photographer & have had exhibitions & collaborated with other artists on the subject of amputation. I worked with another amputee artist a while ago who told me about 'devs' . I did some research on the net & found out quite a lot about them. My interest is in the artwork & photography they produce about us, some of them are quite talented & spend a lot of their time doing this. I dont condone it, but I use it as a sort of conduit into some of my work, as I like to try to be open minded about how to develop my own work on disability/amputation.

for anybody interested I can tell you the following information about devs:

Firstly there are quite active groups of devs in places like Yahoo groups, and there I found groups catering for every taste of amputee fascination from pictures, drawings and photographs to stories & picture harvesting. Devs have good intelligence networks & like to share information about us, I dont know but I suspect this forum offers a good source for information gathering. Devs will pick up links from this type of site & share them into these networks.

They will also lurk in these forums and possibly even pretend to be an amputee. The main aim of this is activity is to :

1. collect stories & pics

2. to begin on-line relationships with amputees

3. possibly to initiate 'real life' relationships with amputees.

Devs will go to quite extreme lengths to convert a virtual relationship into a real life sexual one. I read about one guy who actually wore a metal brace and pretended he was disabled in order to begin a real life realtionship with a female amputee.

My advice is when you are here is to always remember what you say & post here is being monitored - sounds paranoid - maybe, but I have seen even the most innocuous site about stuffed toys run by an amputee posted as a subject of interest in the dev groups.

Vetting on the internet is difficult, if not impossible in a group like this. I would only share very personal stuff on an e-mail basis or phone with someone you feel confdent about.

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Hi Oneleggedtog,

I just wanted to thank you for posting what you just wrote.

I will agree to share any personal matter on email and on the phone.

It is something we have to be careful about.

it does kind of scare me a little, but I have heard lots of worse things happening.

I was also taught from an earlier age, to not give out ANY personal info online, even if you feel like you know the person, just to be on the safe side.

Lesley

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