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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
Brenda

Dating

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I know this topic has been brought up before and I'm sure I had a response to it but here goes my post.

As most of you all know I divorced my second husband (we were married for 6 years) and before that I was married for 10 to my first husband and the father of my two daughters. Anyway I'm now single no boyfriend and to be honest a bit lonely especially having some of my friends that are happily married or in a solid relationship. Now I'm scared of the how do I tell a guy about my leg to be honest I never have thought about this subject before now. I guess my low self esteem or low self confidence is showing up because I think what's wrong with me. I was very interested in this guy and it turned out to be a very hard working relationship me doing all the giving and him telling me he's not ready to be anybodies boyfriend so I kicked him to the curb because I couldn't stand his depression any more it was getting me down. On the second hand I am enjoying my own place (I'm renting a 3 bedroom 2 bath 2 car garage house from a couple from my church) and it's all mine I even get to PARK MY CAR in the garage the first time I've ever been able to do that and IT FEELS SO GOOD! I really am enjoying my freedom but I would like to go out on dates every now and again being with the girls all the time is getting me down I feel like I get no time and or space.

I guess I really just needed to vent! Thanks for listening to me.

BTW my computer has been acting up a lot lately so looks like I need to take it to the computer dr.

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Hiya Brenda nice seeing you here. You have been missed :D

Glad to see you enjoying at least part of your freedom ;)

No advice from me..been wayyyyyy too long since I dated, but you know where to find me if you want to vent some more.

Hugs,

Cat

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I've seen you in a skirt with no cosmetic cover on your leg and you're adorable. You're gonna knock 'em all dead, girl :P

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Brenda, I can tell you what NOT to do:

Don't tell the prospective date you have a dark secret!

Before my amp, but after a couple of extreme surgeries and plastic surgeries, I said this to a fellow... He turned white. When I told him I had a horrible scar on my leg, he breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Whew! I thought you were gonna tell me you were a man!" :blink:

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Brenda, I went back and re-read your post. Way to go girl! You did the very difficult thing of breaking off a bad relationship! You deserve more than that...

I agree with Marcus (and no, I didn't think you were a guy! :P ), you will meet THE guy when you least expect it. The very best thing you can do is get out there and live your life to the fullest until you meet him!

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Hi Brenda,

As other people have said, just be yourself and if they are a prat, you are better off without them. I have just seen your photograph and you are a stunner, go out and do the hobbies you like and before you know it you will be fighting the men off!! Enjoy ;)

Love Yvonne

:wub:

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Hey Brenda, Most of my friends are married too! :wub: Havent really done too much of the dating thing-maybe I just haven't had the time and I guess I haven't been out anywhere where I have looked.

I do remember a guy trying to pick me up a while ago; he put his had on my leg (socket)! :D He freaked I freaked and that was it. Aside from that, I had a night out with Cat-hilarious and picked up a surfer dude who looked like Fabio :P :P Guess you had to be there but it was funny-so I don't have a great track record or really any tips (which have worked) in the meantime have fun with the married's and keep an eye out!

Hang in there Hon; you just never know.

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LOL :lol: :lol: :lol:

He was only interested cos you told him you were a Marine Biologist and a shark chewed your leg off :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Thanks guys I just needed to vent. Thinking about it just makes it all seem so depressing I haven't been single since I was 16 and I'll be 39 this year so you might as well say I've not spent a lot of time single compaired to being in a relationship.

Thanks Marie, and Yvonne for your kind words I don't feel like I'm anything to write home to mom about.

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Brenda,

I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. Going to the library is a great place to strike up casual conversations with people, so is the grocery store. You aren't a shy person, so utilize your natural charm and enjoy life :D Guys will be around. Your main concern when you find a fellow is if they can keep up with you. Don't hide, just be your radiant self B)

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You're such a cheater stop telling people my secret pick up lines!!!!! :P :)

Next time we head out I'll do the Russian Secret Agent One! That's much better :lol:

ps who is coffee boy?

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Hi Brenda! Sorry I'm so late with this. I can totally relate to what you're going through. I haven't been on a date since 1981! I was married for 20 years. I know how some days it gets tough. I am perfectly happy with my life, leg and all that but there are times when I would really like somebody with me to hug when things get rough.

Hang in there girlfriend! Your time will come and like others have said, probably when you least expect it.

Give me a holler any time you feel like venting. Take care.

Carol

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Hi Brenda, sorry to hear you've been a bit down lately, but it's good to see you back online again. :D You hang in there, b/c some nice guy is out there looking for you and when he shows up you'll DEFINITELY know, b/c you will be first on his list and it won't matter if you have to introduce him to the amputee world, b/c he'll simply like you for who you are, a very friendly, positive, caring person. ;) If you'd like to pm me, please do so. B)

Take care,

Sheila lbk

Maine USA

Keep Smiling :)

post-7-1143678607.gif

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Hey Brenda, Being only the second member of the opposite sex (I think) to answer your thread, I thought you might like to hear a male viewpoint.

Being single myself, I am faced with a similar problem and occassionally get lonely for some female company.

The attribute that I mostly look for is personality and the ability to laugh together and enjoy each others company. If I found someone as above, the fact that they were an amputee would not matter one jot.

Maybe though, my judgement is clouded by the fact that I too am an amputee and realise that a BKA is not all that much "handicapped" and can lead an almost normal lifestyle.

Cheer up Brenda --- what u upto on Sat night :blink::blink:

Hope after your "vent" and the support on here that you're feeling better

John

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Hi Brenda,

Here’s my two cents worth from a guys outlook. I’ve been through the divorce nightmare also. I waited five years before I started to date then it seemed the women I dated were psychotic. I was starting to wonder if it were me with the problem. I was even dumped by a woman after we were engaged. One afternoon she gave me a love letter and told me how much she loved me- that evening she broke up. Hindsight-Thank God!. I would have married my ex-wife all over again with her.

I stopped looking and started living. I was a single dad with two children and saw I was neglecting their needs to satisfy what needs I thought I needed. Then WAM! I went to a friends wedding and met a friend of my friends new wife. To make a happy long story short. We’ve been married six years now with a five year old daughter (3 total). I married the opposite of what I did the first time. We have a great marriage! So what’s my message. Stop looking-Start living! Be selfish- do things for yourself. Looniness is hard and it also tends to make things seem better than they really are. Then you end up being heart broken when it was wrong from the start.

One thing to consider is a divorce help group. I lead a “Divorce Care” http://www.divorcecare.com/ group and found it very helpful for myself and others to heal from a divorce. Divorce is like losing a limp. You’ve lost a part of your anatomy that you thought you could not live without. Over time, though it may be difficult, you learn to adapt and then eventually you heal and stop hurting. This is really when the living starts.

I do hope you find happiness but be careful were you look for it. I know there are plenty of ways to meet people in central Florida. I’ve lived in Daytona Beach were my mom and dad currently live. Just be sure that you do not settle for someone. If your heart puts up red flags then follow your heart.

mtman

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Caroln, Sheila, John, and Mtman,

Thanks for your words. I really appreciate everything you've said. Yes I vented yes I'm alone but I have been feeling better the last few days. You all are right if I get selfish and do things that I want to do then Mr Right will come into my life. I guess unless he's dropped off at my door step and he rides up on his stallion tomorrow I'll be happy with the life that I have right now. John I'm not busy Saturday night but unless you have a jet and fly over here I don't think I'm going out with you saturday. Mtman thanks you're so right in all that you said. I just needed to vent and I knew my forum family would be there for me. Thanks again guys you're the greatest. I'm not telling you all what I've been up to. :P

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:o ..........Tell!!

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Quite frankly Brenda, I don't think we are missing too much :P

dartboard.jpg

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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You don't have to tell us all what you were up to Brenda. . .

Just tell us what the other person did ;) :D

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Hey I'll never KISS and tell. LOL

Actually I'm not going to tell you everything but there are a couple of guys that are interested in going out with me. One is a big flirt and he's got me smilling everyday. I'm not telling you where I found them as you might laugh at me. LOL I'm laughing at myself! I'm having loads of fun and weeding out the ones that are shallow right off by telling them I'm an amputee. One way of getting rid of them. LOL

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Oh well!! Too late again. Brenda

I did try but they wouldn't let me on the plane with my stallion.

Nice cartoon Ally :D :D :D :lol: :lol:

John

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