Jump to content
Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
Lil' Boffin

A potential amputee's daughter

Recommended Posts

hi everybody,

I am 16 and am on this forum looking for help and advice.

My mum is about to undergo an amputation and i am both happy for her but i am also scared.

She had the accident nearly 4 years ago and has been on high doses of morphine day and night which means early nights every night. i miss the times we used to spend together at night but i have come to accept that she is unable to stay up very late and usually resort to her bedside when she goes upstairs and make sure that she is comftorble while she falls asleep.

i am very aware of the way in which my mum conceals the pain that she has :blink: although i love her and will always stay by her i get angry when she does that lol.

In a few months she is going to go off to have her right leg amputated above the knee, i am looking forward to it as it would be a great oppourtunity for her and i know how fed up she has become with it. though although i am looking forward to it for her sake i am scared of what the operation holds in store for her, i will have to be the one that is there for her when dad is at work and she can be sooooo stubborn so i know that she won't sit down and relax, but she needs to learn that she has to :D .

i came to this forum in need of help and advice and i hope that you will be able to answer my questions.

1. what kind of after care will be provided after the operation?

2. how much or how little will she be able to do after she comes out of hospital?

3. how long is it before she is weaned off her morphine?

4. how bad is the pain going to be for her?

5. how much time she will be in hospital?

i hope that you will be able to answer my qusetions and i hope that i will be able to do everything possible to help my mum get through this operation.

Lil' boffin xxxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi sweet,

These are questions best answered by the hospital staff, but it seems your mom has suffered because the leg is so badly damaged, when the leg is taken away then the problem will go - the wound will take about 4-weeks to heal and about 12-weeks to settle down, she will have visits to the limb center where her care and future needs will be assessed. your mom will heal quickly and the pain gone and she will be walking on a prosthetic leg in no time at all. morphine is an adictive drug but your mom should easily be weaned off once the pain has gone - just remember for the last 4yrs your mom has bravely tried to live with a leg which only gave pain and was usless as a tool to walk, with a prosthetic leg the pain will have gone and she will learn to walk again, and family life will start to get back to normal.

Gaza

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the forum Lil' Boffin! :D

My children recently experience me having two major orthopaedic ops. If you're like them you've probably got a 100 & one questions you want to ask at the moment, haven't you? :)

All I can suggest is be kind to yourself...only ask questions you really want to hear the answers to...if it feels uncomfortable listening to the answers, then stop listening. It's important that you get support for yourself...talk to your family, your friends, or your friends parents...if you have a teacher at school you can speak to, then speak to them. Your school should know what you are coping with anyway, so that they can support you - if you have exams your teachers should be able to write a note for the examiners so they will hopefully mark your papers leniently. If you're in the UK, there's also the Young Carers organisation, which can give you some support and advice.

As for your questions:

1. Your Mum's aftercare depends upon your Mum and her surgeon and the limb centre she's referred to.

2. They will try to get your Mum to do as much as she can after the op. - they will encourage her to be independant.

3. Your Mum's doctor will know all about the morphine - we can't help you there, as everyone is different.

4. Orthopaedic surgery is always a bit painful, but hopefully she won't be in pain for very long. Try not to concentrate on this...and try not to get angry with your Mum when she hides her pain from you, as she's only doing it as she doesn't want you to hurt too, as she loves you lots! :blink:

5. Every hospital is different, but your Mum won't be in hospital any longer than she needs to be.

I hope I've answered your questions OK?

Take care

Lizzie :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello! Welcome to the family! You have already received some great advice. I'm only here to tell you that the main thing for your mom is just that you are there. I have 3 kids that were all great when I had my surgery. There were times when they got frustrated because they felt they couldn't do anything to help, but I told them that just being there helped a lot. Support is really needed at times like this.

Take care and I hope things go smoothly for your mom.

Carol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks everyone,

you've all really helped me i know that she loves me lots and i love her lots too.

i really appreciate it.

Lil' boffin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

L'il Boffin

Welcome. As a mum with teenagers myself I can understand you questions. Every person is different and every bodys recovery is different too. Just be there fore her and help without being asked.One of the worst things my group did was wait to be asked. I was very tired and even thinking about asking some one to do something wore me out.

I can tell from your spirit that you will be a big help to your mum.

God Bless

Rachel

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lil' boffin,

I have a son your age, honey, so your post just warmed my heart. What a sweetie and smart one you are to come on here and ask questions! :)

Like your Mum, I lived with a painful leg for many years, before my amputation. The type of pain I had immediately after the amputation, was very different pain- it was more the soreness of the actual surgery, the stitches/staples, etc. and that pain, for me, lasted one month. I was able to stop all my pain meds after that first month. BUT, that is different for everyone honey, so you just have to be patient. Of course there will be days that your Mum will be grumpy :angry: , but it won't last forever, and she needs to feel that way some days.

One thing you can do, if you see your Mum having some difficulties after the surgery, is to encourage her to get on here and ask for our help and support! Because, we've all been through what she's about to experience.

Thanks for coming to us, Lil' boffin, that says a lot about you hon! :)

Love,

Cheri

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow! All I have to say is that your mother is very fortunate to have you beside her, especially during this time.

I have always maintained that this is a "WE" thing. She may go through the physical, and her own psychological part, but remember, she will have doctors and nurses right there 24/7 looking after her, and then ones to consult when she comes home.

You, and her other loved ones, will be either sitting out in the hallway, cafeteria, or at home with your own thoughts and concerns.

My wife, and one of my daughters went through all of this right along with me, and I never let myself forget it.

She'll be taken care of. You be sure to take care of yourself while you are taking care of her, and both of you will be fine.

I know these things. :D :D :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi and welcome.

I reckon with all the family attention, your mum should be just fine ;)

Expect some grumpiness as she adjusts to having the one leg. You'll probably see conflicting emotions at first as she adjusts to this new life. I was the pathetic cripple at times and other times I wouldn't let anybody do anything for me.

I don't think you need to ask your mum to come on ths site as she has already introduced herself as has your gran :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WELCOME !!!!!! YOU HAVE RECEIVED VERY GOOD INFORMATION & THE ONLY OTHER I CAN RELATE IS JUST BE THERE FOR YOUR MOM.

:angry: (eag)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok...help me with this.......who is Lil Boffin and who is Vicky b?

I'm so confused :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok...help me with this.......who is Lil Boffin and who is Vicky b?

I'm so confused :blink:

Oh dear, Cats been at the wine bottle again ... do keep up :)

Unless I'm very much mistaken Lil Boffin is the daughter of vicky b, who is the daughter of Anne.Brook :blink:

LB please correct me if I'm wrong :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I must've been hitting the same bottle as Cat, because I was really puzzled over that, too!! :lol:

Lil' Boffin - Welcome! I can't give any better advice than has already been given, but I know your mom is up for the challenge. My best wishes for your entire family.Brighter days are just around the corner! :D :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lil' Boffin;

I'd just like to say: have faith in the future, and it'll all work out well.

It's wonderful to see how your whole family shows such concern for and devotion to each other, and with everyone here wishing you all the very best, you've got heaps of support!

Very best wishes

Roz. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I must've been hitting the same bottle as Cat, because I was really puzzled over that, too!! :lol:

Yuk Shane..boy germs euuuuuuuuu :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lil boffin,

Am I right in guessing who you are? Well done Helen for finding the site and asking the right questions.

With both you and I to support mum, she will soon get back to the person she was.

Will see you next weekend and then the week after when you come out to Spain.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Muz and all the others who recognised my grandaughter. I added a reply before I read what everyone had to say.

We have just proved what a boring family we all are :P . But seriously, Victoria´s forthcoming op has caused us all heartache, but that´s because we are all so close.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yes you are all correct,

I am the daughter of Vicki b and the grandaughter of Anne. brooke. i heard that mum and nan were getting so much support and getting all the info that they needed so i decided to join and ask some questions too.

i have soo much good information from everyone and i really apprecitate the way that every one is so nice to me.

thank you for all of the information that everyone has given me it has helped me 'plan for the future' after my mums op and has really given me an idea of what i am to expect so that there are no suprises in store.

i will have more questions but will have to think of then and write them down.

thank you all once again

Lil' boffin xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lil'Boffin

It's a bit late but a big welcome.

I'm sure that your mum will pull thro' OK

How can she fail with your support and your Nan's support. ??? .

Have faith and hang in there --- it will get better

Best Wishes

John

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lil' Boffin,

Welcome to this site. Your mam will be fine because she has a wonderful daughter, you are very caring and understanding.

Hope all goes well.

Love Yvonne

:blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lil'Boffin,

Welcome and try not to worry to much, your Mam will be just fine. Just knowing you are there will help her tremendously.

Take Care

Siobhan

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi & welcome Lil'Boffin,

My little girl was the same age as you when i had my leg chopped off, she was great and helped me no end , in fact she even "cleaned " her room up just so i couldnt moan about the state it was in when i left hospital :lol: :lol: :lol:.

If you feel like you would like to talk to someone your own age instead of us old ones pm me and i will get my daughter to reply her name is kerri she will let you know whats it like from a youngsters point . & the things to and not to do.................take care mick

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Right then I have it settled. 3 Generations together on the forum how cool is that??

G'Day Lil B glad to have you here

Cat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lil Boffin

It's mummy here :P

I cannot answer your questions as it's a completely new experience for us but you know me I have to have my say so here goes:

YES there will be days when i'm grumpy or tired :angry:

YES there will be days when i'll be stubborn and sooooooooo independent :P

and YES there probably be little more pain :(

BUT saying that this is the beginning of us all getting back on track n our lives back.

I know you love me and without yours, nans and everyone elses support I really don't think i'd have come as far as I have.

Joining this crazy place is probably the best thing you could have done as the people here are a wealth of knowledge BUT (yes you know me there's always a but B) ) you also have to talk to me and nan. I mean about anything from your questions to your feelings because we really cant help you otherwise and therefore get on with things ( I'll let you into a secret you don't really become a mind reader when you become a parent :P ). As Jim so wisely said this isn't just about me it's about all of us as a family so it's really important we are all walking along the same path together.

I'm not gonna lie to you n tell you it's gonna be all hearts and flowers because at the beginning it probably won't be :blink: but it's certainly the start to us getting there :D .

Yes I will need your support but more importantly I really need to know that you'll to try n concentate and put all your effort into your exams as they're sooooooooooooo important . :rolleyes:

I love you so much darling and am soooooooooo proud of you :wub: you're a sensible young adult and just remember WE WILL muddle through this just like always.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×