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greenthumb

missing someone

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Last Tuesday around 11:40 pm, I was awake by the sound of my telephone. Still half sleeping I answered it..after a simple hello??? My world turned up side down. My brother's daughter was crying and saying over and over: "he is dead, my daddy is dead ..."

I thought I was having a nightmare. Twice later on I got the same news. Again, I was facing something horrible on my own. My husband is working away from home, my daughters live far away too.

Next morning I was informed that they were going to bury him later on in the afternoon. There wasn"t any time for me to say good-bye, to see him one more time...

I am going to Brasil next May 10th. Hopefully I had already got stronger to face visiting cemitery, take care of his business etc.

I have not been myself yet, I miss him so much...the thoughts of our childhood, our family together etc, pups up in my head, for any reason and without any warnings...it comes so fast and with them come down the tears...

How can I face his kids without breakdown in tears!!!

Sorry but I felt I should tell you all about it and I know you will understand me.

Dea

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Hi Dea,

So sorry for your loss.

Hugs to you.

Cat

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Oh Dea, I'm so sorry,

You mustn't try to hold those tears back. I'm certain your brothers children will see how much you loved him are take comfort from knowing they are not alone in how they feel.

When my Dad died, it took months for me to cry and took longer to get over it because i was trying to be strong for others.

I hope you can feel better soon honey, xx Hazel xx

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(((((hugs Dea)))))

Dea, I am so sorry for your loss.

Please just do whatever you feel like doing at the time. If that means letting it all out by crying, then so be it. You have to grieve too, and so it's important that you don't hold back.

I'm sure that whatever you do, your family will understand and gain comfort from the fact that you are there, sharing your grief together and remembering the happy times.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Your friend,

Afet

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Hi Dea,

I am sorry for the loss of your brother, he will be a great miss to you and your family.

Like your brother, my sister is still a big part of my life and was a big part in my childhood. Remember them good times, the ones where you both got into trouble, the secret places you went to, the chats you had.....

All of our thoughts are with you.

Love Yvonne

xx :huh:

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How can I face his kids without breakdown in tears!!!

Dea

You don't

A person secure enough within themselves to cry in public, show's strength to me, not weakness. I would be surprised if most anyone could hold back the tears for a true loved one, like a brother. Man or woman. Besides - they've earned it.

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Hi Dea,

I feel for you. Sadly, I don't know what I can say to help. Know that we're thinking about you. I hope that brings you some comfort.

Linda

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I'm very sorry you have lost your brother, Dea. It must be so hard. I am sending a big hug and much love. Take care.

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Dea,

I'm so sorry about the loss of your brother. Don't worry about acting a certain way. I'm sure that just seeing and being with your brother's kids will be comforting to them. And you can all share your loss together, along with remembering all the good times.

Take care.

Carol

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Hi Dea

I'm sorry to hear your news.

Don't 'try to be brave', as it doesn't do you any good. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time and 'go with the flow' and experience your emotions for what they are...grief.

Take care

Lizzie :)

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Dea,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Words simply cannot express the sadness you are feeling right now. I like the others here, want to express my deep condolences for you and your family. No one knows or can understand our creators plan at times like these, but I hope you can understand that there is one. Time is the only thing that will help now. Your brother will always be with you. Every time you think of him, or remember a good time, he will be there. Watching and smiling. I hope comfort and smiles return for you soon. I will be thinking of you and sending only the best vibes your way.

Sincerely,

Shane

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Hello Dea - I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you know that you can come here and chat about anything anytime. We'll all be here for you.

Love

Ally

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Hi, Dea...

Let me add my condolences. Losing a loved-one is a very rough thing to go through... please don't try and go through it alone. You're grieving... you're entitled to... please share your grief with family and friends... they can help you through the emotions, and you can help them in return.

"Time" does help ease the immediate pain and sadness, but you never know when something will remind you of your brother, because he will always be a part of you. Almost two years after my mother passed on, I walked into a local market and saw a display of blooming Easter Lillies... and promptly burst into tears because they were so beautiful and they were one of Mom's favorite flowers. The crying is not a bad thing... let your feelings out now, and the bad times will slowly fade into memory, while the good times remain vibrant and alive in your mind.

As long as he is fondly remembered by family and friends, your brother will always be "alive."

take care... cherylm

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Hi Dea,

I'm sorry to hear about you loss. I lost my sister just over 5 years ago so I understand your pain. Big hugs to you and your family.

Love

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So sad, please accept my sincerest condolences.

Just need you to know that you will find the strength within yourself to get through this.

The following poem which I found some while ago at just such a time is quite poignant. I do hope it offers some comfort to you too.

Farewell to Thee! But not farewell

To all my fondest thoughts of Thee;

Within my heart they still shall dwell

And they shall cheer and comfort me.

Life seems more sweet that Thou didst live

And men more true Thou wert one;

Nothing is lost that Thou didst give,

Nothing destroyed that Thou hast done.

Anne Bronte

1820-1849

Mike

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Dea,

I would like to share a poem I like too. I hope it brings you some comfort at this sad time...

He is Gone

You can shed tears that he is gone,

Or you can smile because he lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,

Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

- David Harkins

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Hi again, Dea

I saw Mike & Ally's poems and it reminded me of this one:

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

by Mary Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

It says to me that they are always there, with us, in our memories...

Lizzie :)

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Hi Dea,

I'm sorry to hear your loss of your brother. Just wanted to remind you that he is still in your heart, just like my brother Joe who still in my heart, He passed away 2 years ago. Remember all of the good times that you two shared. Jerry

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Hi Dea,

Sorry for your loss, don't be afraid to express your emotions, better out than in.

Thinking of you,

Lynne

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So sorry to hear this... It's so hard. I try to think of it as a temporary separation.

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Guest bearlover

GreenThumb, Iam sorry to read about your tragical los. I also have lost a very dear and great brother also. I have lost 2 brothers very young. Only two years apart from one another. When the last one passed. I like you felt like my world had ended. I have a big family. Iam the youngest of 8 children. My brothe Dennis, was my hero, my friend, my world besides my great husband of course. This is so hard to get use to. Not having him at family gatherings. My brothes also died very young. And very unexpectely and sudden. I hope that you are at least doing a little better. Just wanted to say I share your los and heartache. Take Crare. Iam fairley new to this board. Bear

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GreenThumb, Iam sorry to read about your tragical los. I also have lost a very dear and great brother also. I have lost 2 brothers very young. Only two years apart from one another. When the last one passed. I like you felt like my world had ended. I have a big family. Iam the youngest of 8 children. My brothe Dennis, was my hero, my friend, my world besides my great husband of course. This is so hard to get use to. Not having him at family gatherings. My brothes also died very young. And very unexpectely and sudden. I hope that you are at least doing a little better. Just wanted to say I share your los and heartache. Take Crare. Iam fairley new to this board. Bear

Hi Greenthumb:

I think I know how you are feeling right now.. I lost my Dad and 6e wks later my 42 year old brother was found dead in his hotel room, a massive heart attack, and then 3 months later my 49 year old brother died of Cancer, he was diagnosed and two weeks later he was gone.

I'm so very sorry luv, there is nothing I can say because I've been there and there is nothing anyone could say to me to make me feel a wee bit better.

Darling, I'm so very sorry! but if you ever want to talk I'll be here, I know your probably won't take up on my suggestion, but remember, I know how you feel and I feel very sad for you today, You are in my mind and prayers.

Luv

Lynne

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