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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
Hazel

my day in prison

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hi chaps,

today I went with a group of biker friends from the NABD (national association of bikers with a disability) to a womens prison. They are running a series of events this week to mark 'disability awareness week'. all was going well until we had to move the bikes and trikes to a different area, leaving the women inmates and going to visit the young offenders. I was at the back and on an uphill start, well i gave the trike plenty of revs and set off at a rate of knots up this hill in a confined area about 8 feet wide. I'm still not sure what happened exactly, but i ended up with one wheel up the curb and with 3 bikes and a trike behind me! :o how on earth did i get past them and round a right then a left hand bend? My throttle had stuck open and i came to a halt with my rear tyre touching my friends leg :unsure: (who was sat wide eyed astride her own bike)! the inmates thought it was hillarious of course and i'd left a fantastic amount of rubber on their concrete. <_<

the rest of the day went off quite well, i ended up taking my shoe off to show a 17 year old girl what my rubber foot looked like. I'm not sure if we acheived much but i'll be glad if just one of these girls now has a little understanding of a day in the life of an amputee (goodness knows they asked enough questions!) and therefore a little respect.

not a brilliant story, but i guess you had to be there :P

xx

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Oh, I don't know...I think it's a funny story, Hazel. :D I have a similar one...

My first car was a Fiat Strada automatic that had, along with appauling rust, a lousy set of hand controls that transformed the 1498cc engine into a 'gut-less wonder'! Whenever I drove her up hills, she would chug up them...:(

Anyway, one day, six months after I got her, I we were travelling up the A1. We reached a dual carriageway section that went up a steep hill, and as we'd been stuck behind lots of very slow moving traffic, I decided to 'give it some welly'. I pulled up my hand sharpely (which you have to do with hand controls) and the car started to accelerate (I thought "Oh, I felt, at last I've got the hang of it")...

...and she accelerated (I began to get edgy)...

...and she accelerated (it was getting worried now)...

...and she accelerated (I started to scream)...

...and she accelerated!!! :ph34r:

As much as I tried, I couldn't slow her down! :o I eventually managed to dodge several cars and get her to a pull-in place, which was no mean feat, bearing in mind that she was a car and we were travelling in moderately heavy traffic in a 50 mph speed limit zone and the final speed, before the needle went off the dial of the speedo, was 120mph!!! :ph34r: In the end I had to just switch off the engine. The car backfired and there were plumes of smoke...and my poor heart was racing! :unsure:

We eventually discovered that the spring on the car's kick down mechanism had failed & that was why I couldn't slow her down. After that, I always carried a spare spring for the kick-down mechanism.

So, as you can see, it's not only you that can't slow down sometimes, Hazel! ;)

Lizzie :)

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O' my goodness!!! :o :o :o (to the both of you!!)

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Tee hee hee,

You have both just reminded me of a similar incident I had while I was living in Japan (where I taught English for a year after I left Uni).....

The nearest other westerners to me were a good 10K away, in the nearest town to where I lived. Their town was a bit richer than mine, and so the town hall (who paid their salaries) gave them scooters to get around on. I got a good old fashioned bike.

Anyway, one day a few weeks after I got there, I went over to see them for an evening. We were just messing around in the car park when I saw their scooters and asked to have a go on one. I don't know what possessed my friend Paul but he let me loose on his - me who had never even SEEN a scooter before I got to Japan. Well you can guess what happened - I did a highly successful turn around the block, started to get a bit cocky on entering the car park, instead of putting the brake on, twisted the accelerator handle thing, every time I tried to brake, just kept twisting the accelerator thing harder and harder and getting faster and faster, and crashed into the wall.

Paul's scooter cost a fortune to fix, and made a very strange noise for ever after that.

Needless to say, I haven't gone anywhere near a scooter since.

Then I bought myself a car to get around easier, and a couple of months later crashed it and wrote it off in the snow.

Hence the reason I now live in London which is probably the only place in England where a car is not needed.

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Hence the reason I now live in London which is probably the only place in England where a car is not needed.

:o Ouch!

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Awesome stories :D :D

A few years ago I was driving an old Camira station wagon which had more bad bits than good bits in it. But it got me from A to B most days so I was grateful.

One day I got in it to pick up the kids from school and reversed out the driveway.....not realising that the bolts that hold the front of the seat had sheered through :unsure:

Being an Auto it reversed itself out of the driveway with me looking over my shoulder and my foot on the brake. I made it out of the driveway and was now pointing in the direction I wanted. Stop the car. Put it in Drive. Hit the accelerator.

The car jumped forward and my seat flipped back, my hands slipping off the steering wheel.

My legs are now in the air above my head.

Wit my foot no longer on the accelerator and the car is now slowing.

And my seat flipped forward again.

As it did my foot landed on the accelrator.

The car jumped forward.

I flipped backwards again.

The car slowed.

You get the idea ;)

So...... laughing insanely I bunny hopped down the street. I figured out all I had to do was not let go of the steering wheel and I was ok.

Cat

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Fiona - your story sounded very painful & your 'quite whilst you're ahead' mindset is very understandable. :unsure:

Cat - your story (for some reason...as it has nothing to do with transport) reminded me of this:

Why Paddy's Not at Work Today

Dear sir, I write this note to you, to tell you of my plight.

For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight,

Me body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray,

And I write this note to say why I am not at work today.

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear,

But throwing them down from such a height, was not a good idear.

The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sort,

And he made me cart them down the bloody ladders bend me heart.

Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow,

So I hoisted up a barrel, and secured the rope below,

But in me haste, to do the job, I was to blind to see,

That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

As soon as I'd untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead,

And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.

I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found,

That halfway up I met that bloody barrel coming down.

It severed me left shoulder, as toward the ground it sped,

And as I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head.

But I clung on tightly not with shock, from this almighty blow,

As the barrel spilled out half its bricks, some fourteen floors below.

I now outweighed the barrel and fell towards the floor,

And the barrel having spilled its bricks, started up once more,

As I sped toward the ground, me body wracked with pain,

And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again.

The force of this collision, halfway down the office block,

Caused multiple abrasions, and a nasty case of shock,

But I clung on tightly to the rope, as I fell towards the ground,

And there I landed on the broken bricks the barrel'd scattered round.

As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst,

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst.

A shower of bricks rained down on me, I did not have a hope,

and as I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go of the bloody rope.

The barrel now being heavier, started down once more,

And landed right across me, as I lay there on the floor,

It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I write this note to say,

I hope you'll understand why I'm not at work today.

Lizzie :)

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Priceless!

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Does a bit Lizzie :P :P :lol:

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Cat, the image of you flipping back and forth and the car going down the street is too funny. You had me laughing out loud!

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hi chaps,

today I went with a group of biker friends from the NABD (national association of bikers with a disability) to a womens prison. They are running a series of events this week to mark 'disability awareness week'. all was going well until we had to move the bikes and trikes to a different area, leaving the women inmates and going to visit the young offenders. I was at the back and on an uphill start, well i gave the trike plenty of revs and set off at a rate of knots up this hill in a confined area about 8 feet wide. I'm still not sure what happened exactly, but i ended up with one wheel up the curb and with 3 bikes and a trike behind me! :o how on earth did i get past them and round a right then a left hand bend? My throttle had stuck open and i came to a halt with my rear tyre touching my friends leg :unsure: (who was sat wide eyed astride her own bike)! the inmates thought it was hillarious of course and i'd left a fantastic amount of rubber on their concrete. <_<

the rest of the day went off quite well, i ended up taking my shoe off to show a 17 year old girl what my rubber foot looked like. I'm not sure if we acheived much but i'll be glad if just one of these girls now has a little understanding of a day in the life of an amputee (goodness knows they asked enough questions!) and therefore a little respect.

not a brilliant story, but i guess you had to be there :P

xx

Hey how spooky is that Hazel, I should have been there, but unfortunately work kept me away. I do however have THE photograph of you all :D

Maybe worth something not to post it on here :lol:

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Hey how spooky is that Hazel, I should have been there, but unfortunately work kept me away. I do however have THE photograph of you all :D

Maybe worth something not to post it on here :lol:

:o name it!

:P

don't think I'm on it actually, busy having a wee stop! :P

I got a copy of it too last night, I was at the buxton meeting (had to cook a massive chilli to feed em all too :unsure: )

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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You guys always provide a laugh when needed!! Thanks!!

Carol

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Hey how spooky is that Hazel, I should have been there, but unfortunately work kept me away. I do however have THE photograph of you all :D

Maybe worth something not to post it on here :lol:

:o name it!

:P

don't think I'm on it actually, busy having a wee stop! :P

Hazel, you might be interested to know that last night I saw ALL of the photo's including the ones with you on them. Perhaps we can re negotiate a non posting fee :lol: :lol:

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Hey how spooky is that Hazel, I should have been there, but unfortunately work kept me away. I do however have THE photograph of you all :D

Maybe worth something not to post it on here :lol:

:o name it!

:P

don't think I'm on it actually, busy having a wee stop! :P

Hazel, you might be interested to know that last night I saw ALL of the photo's including the ones with you on them. Perhaps we can re negotiate a non posting fee :lol: :lol:

:lol: ar$ed :P

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Hey how spooky is that Hazel, I should have been there, but unfortunately work kept me away. I do however have THE photograph of you all :D

Maybe worth something not to post it on here :lol:

:o name it!

:P

don't think I'm on it actually, busy having a wee stop! :P

Hazel, you might be interested to know that last night I saw ALL of the photo's including the ones with you on them. Perhaps we can re negotiate a non posting fee :lol: :lol:

:lol: ar$ed :P

I'll take that as a no then shall I :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Hands up all those who want to see :lol: :lol:

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Fiona - your story sounded very painful & your 'quite whilst you're ahead' mindset is very understandable. :wacko:

Cat - your story (for some reason...as it has nothing to do with transport) reminded me of this:

Why Paddy's Not at Work Today

Dear sir, I write this note to you, to tell you of my plight.

For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight,

Me body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray,

And I write this note to say why I am not at work today.

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear,

But throwing them down from such a height, was not a good idear.

The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sort,

And he made me cart them down the bloody ladders bend me heart.

Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow,

So I hoisted up a barrel, and secured the rope below,

But in me haste, to do the job, I was to blind to see,

That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

As soon as I'd untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead,

And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.

I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found,

That halfway up I met that bloody barrel coming down.

It severed me left shoulder, as toward the ground it sped,

And as I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head.

But I clung on tightly not with shock, from this almighty blow,

As the barrel spilled out half its bricks, some fourteen floors below.

I now outweighed the barrel and fell towards the floor,

And the barrel having spilled its bricks, started up once more,

As I sped toward the ground, me body wracked with pain,

And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again.

The force of this collision, halfway down the office block,

Caused multiple abrasions, and a nasty case of shock,

But I clung on tightly to the rope, as I fell towards the ground,

And there I landed on the broken bricks the barrel'd scattered round.

As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst,

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst.

A shower of bricks rained down on me, I did not have a hope,

and as I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go of the bloody rope.

The barrel now being heavier, started down once more,

And landed right across me, as I lay there on the floor,

It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I write this note to say,

I hope you'll understand why I'm not at work today.

Lizzie :)

Do I like that!

PJ :D

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Why Paddy's Not at Work Today

Dear sir, I write this note to you, to tell you of my plight.

For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight,

Me body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray,

And I write this note to say why I am not at work today...

Do I like that!

PJ :D

Now, don't go getting any ideas, Paul. :unsure: Try and stay safe on that 'building site' of yours! :P

How is your wall going? Or did I read somewhere that you start in a day or two?

Lizzie :)

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Muz, that picture is WAY too freaky, i think my eyes are bleeding just looking at it!

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Muz, that picture is WAY too freaky, i think my eyes are bleeding just looking at it!

I had begun to think I was the only one thinking that,, pretty unsettling isn't it?

Higgy

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