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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
anne.brook

The journey has now begun

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I really don't know where to start, so here goes.

Vickib went down to theatre at midday today for her RAKA. Unfortunately things didn't go quite to plan and she needed a transfusion to counter the massive blood loss. She returned to the ward at 5.30 this evening still deeply unconscious.

I am in bits, just looking at her beautiful face, and wishing I could take all her trials and tribulations for myself, but knowing I can't.

I have started this as a new post, hoping that in the future, when I look back at it, I can wonder at my fears, and laugh.

I still need all yor prayers to carry us all through the coming weeks.

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I've been thinking of your family today, and will continue to do so in the days ahead.

Please stop by when you can to update us.

Love to you all.

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I have started this as a new post, hoping that in the future, when I look back at it, I can wonder at my fears, and laugh.

I still need all yor prayers to carry us all through the coming weeks.

Laugh - well, maybe not. I still find myself in tears (18 years later) when I relive those moments too specifically. If you've ever noticed, (which I don't expect, but anyway), I only skim over the surface of my experiences. My wife was concerned when I joined this forum, because she knows that I tear up when I recall things to deeply.

Good. it proves that I am human, and so are you, but you will be able to learn to deal with this and move on. Keep telling yourself WHY this is being done in the first place. You have made your choice through much thought and prayer and have arrived at your answer. The next step now is the healing and the learning new things.

Our prayers are most definitely with you - today, and the weeks and months to come. God Bless all of your family. Victoria is in good hands. You look after yourself and your granddaughter - while she is looking after you. That's the way that it works. You'll come out of this fine.

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Guest bearlover

Hi !Hang in there their are people who care on this fourm. Victoria will progress well. She is in my thoughts and prayers... God Bless :)

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I have started this as a new post, hoping that in the future, when I look back at it, I can wonder at my fears, and laugh.

I still need all yor prayers to carry us all through the coming weeks.

Laugh - well, maybe not. I still find myself in tears (18 years later) when I relive those moments too specifically. If you've ever noticed, (which I don't expect, but anyway), I only skim over the surface of my experiences. My wife was concerned when I joined this forum, because she knows that I tear up when I recall things to deeply.

Good. it proves that I am human, and so are you, but you will be able to learn to deal with this and move on. Keep telling yourself WHY this is being done in the first place. You have made your choice through much thought and prayer and have arrived at your answer. The next step now is the healing and the learning new things.

Our prayers are most definitely with you - today, and the weeks and months to come. God Bless all of your family. Victoria is in good hands. You look after yourself and your granddaughter - while she is looking after you. That's the way that it works. You'll come out of this fine.

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Well, I think "laughs" may be possible, if only the occasional relieved and empbarrassed chuckle as you recall how strange and threatening it all seems right now. i know that I sometimes find myself shaking my head in wonderment at how scared -- and how innocent -- I was only 15 months ago!

You all seem like such a close and supportive family... and you have friends here who can identify with what you're all going through. I'm positive that these things will be a tremendous comfort to Victoria as she sets about the job of recovery!

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I don't know that you'll laugh, but you'll definitely look back on what a journey it was. Blessings to you all.

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I really don't know where to start, so here goes.

Vickib went down to theatre at midday today for her RAKA. Unfortunately things didn't go quite to plan and she needed a transfusion to counter the massive blood loss. She returned to the ward at 5.30 this evening still deeply unconscious.

I am in bits, just looking at her beautiful face, and wishing I could take all her trials and tribulations for myself, but knowing I can't.

I have started this as a new post, hoping that in the future, when I look back at it, I can wonder at my fears, and laugh.

I still need all yor prayers to carry us all through the coming weeks.

Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers. JudyH

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I'm really sorry if I offended anybody. I can see now that the word laugh was a stupid word to use, but I'm just a mum who loves and cares for her daughter.

I've just rung the hospital, and they said Victoria has had a comfortable night, but was very upset when she saw her stump.

The ward staff have been brilliant, and even though visiting shouldn't be until 2pm this afternoon, they are going to let me go in this morning.

Will keep you posted

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Anne

I dont believe anyone was offended. Every one copes with their loss in different ways. It is good to think positive even if you cant act it at the moment.

My family and I laughed a lot usually in a bit of a sick way. It was our coping mechanism. Why should you not want to be able to look back and be glad, if not of the actual experience but the brave way you and your family handled it.

I wish you all the best.

Rachel

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Hi Anne, I am sure that this all brings back memories for all who read your post. You both have my thoughts and prayers.

I found a prayer on the internet and I am sure that it will be of help.

I thought of you so much today

I went to God in prayer,

To ask Him to watch over you

And show you that I care.

My prayer for you was not for rewards

That you could touch or feel,

But true rewards for happiness

That are so very real.

Like love and understanding

In all the things you do,

And guidance when you need it most

To see your troubles through.

I asked Him for good health for you

So your future could be bright,

And faith to accept life's challenges

And the courage to do what's right.

I gave thanks to Him

For granting my prayer

To bring you peace and love.

May you feel the warmth in your life

With God's blessings from above

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Thank you insane. Your poem was so beautiful that it made me cry in a good way. I'm just off to the hospitalso need to dry my tears. Thank you again.

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I'm really sorry if I offended anybody. I can see now that the word laugh was a stupid word to use, but I'm just a mum who loves and cares for her daughter.

I've just rung the hospital, and they said Victoria has had a comfortable night, but was very upset when she saw her stump.

The ward staff have been brilliant, and even though visiting shouldn't be until 2pm this afternoon, they are going to let me go in this morning.

Will keep you posted

The day I can't laugh it will scare me to death. I know I will survive whatever life throws at me as long as I can laugh.

JudyH

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Hello Anne,

I hope Victoria is feeling a bit better today.

I just want to say that you do not have to apologize to anybody. You have offended no-one. As i have found, everybody deals with situations in different ways.

I am Thinking of you, Victoria and the rest of your family.

Love Yvonne

xx :blink:

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Hello Anne

I didn't necessarily agree with your comment about laughing, but I certainly was not offended. I was only speaking for myself. Every now and then I refer jolingly to "having fun", and my wife snaps back, that there was nothing fun about it.

I have been known to laugh when I have had the most fear, so I do know what you were saying. I do apologize for my bluntness - which is basicly my nature.

Let me say it this way. We do look back at that - with acceptance, and put a positive face on it. As I said before my experience was particularily rough and we still find nothing to laugh about, but that is just us.

On this forum - as elsewhere - I tell it straight and don't pull many punches. I do try to be diplomatic and considerate, but apparantly this time I failed. I am truly sorry.

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Hi Everyone

My beautiful, darling wonderful girl was so much better today. I gave her a bed bath this morning and even managed to clean away the dried stuff from her good leg.

Although she has slept most of today, she even managed to smile today, without the pinched look of pain she has worn for the past four years.

I even managed to keep my own tears at bay until I got home. I wish I was as strong as Victoria, but I am doing the best I can.

Her husband isn't handling things too well at the moment, but my grandaughter is staying strong.

I passed on the good wishes from the members of this forum, and Victoria asked me to say thankyou.

Will keep you posted

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I wish I was as strong as Victoria, but I am doing the best I can.

Dear Anne,

You ARE as strong as your daughter. More so. Just because she is an adult, she is always your baby. You have known her a lot longer than she has known you.

It must be very hard to see her go through all she has had to endure these past years, with the latest chapter being very traumatic. Others have given, and will continue to give you the same advice: keep the big picture as much as you can. Remember why she chose the amputation.

There is a member of this Forum (who has not posted for quite awhile, sadly) who was a voluntary amputee after dealing with a bad leg all her life. Her motto was/is "This time next year ..." That advice is good for anyone under any circumstances.

It does not happen overnight, but each day brings a little more and a little more. And each day brings a lot less pain.

she even managed to smile today, without the pinched look of pain she has worn for the past four years.

That makes today a success.

Many years ago I provided support for an aunt who lost her leg to diabetes. I remember the ups and downs, the triumphs in doing the "small" things in life again. I never thought about anything more than the next accomplishment. It was the combination of all those "small" things that allowed her to get on with her life.

One thing I learned in my own experience was that it is OK to cry and rage. Not necessarily in front of the person who had surgery, of course. Again, others have spoken about the grieving process.

So many are wishing and praying for Vicky (or is it really Victoria)'s success and healing. And for yours. If her husband has not looked at the Forum, perhaps he will find support here too. I know you will keep us all informed on the progress each of you is making.

You are right: it is a journey. I, like all the others here, wish you and your family a successful and safe one. Love and, yes, even laughter, will help.

Maryl

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The poem is beautiful, Paul.

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Hi Maryl

Just to clear things up, My daughter's name is Victoria, but she prefers to be known by Vicki. But like most mums, I can't think of her as Vicki.

It's 3.15am here, but I just can't sleep. Just called the hospital, and Victoria is sleeping well.

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HI Anne heaps of good wishes to you and Victoria. Gee it's such early days and I hope she has a very quick recovery. I often think how hard it must be for the family-because I know what mine went through.

Take care of yourself it's great to know that the staff are so good. I'm sure I'm right in saying that Vicki is probably as strong as her Mum sometimes it's the best genes that are passed on. If your son-in -law has any questions tell him to drop on by.

Thinking of you all.

Mel.

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Hi Anne, I hope you managed to get off to sleep eventually as it is the one thing we cannot manage without. I have an idea what you are going through as I watched the weight drop off my parents when I had the amputation.

Mentally I think it was worse for them than me at the time as I was quite layed back and chilling on the morphine.

Kind regards and prayers, Paul.

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Hi folks. I wish you could see the smiles on both Victoria's and my faces. She no longer has the pinched look of pain. I was with her today when they removed the drain and other tubes. They also took down the theatre dressing, and it is good and clean.

We are talking about the future, and she can't wait for physio to start on Monday. She is doing so well in fact, that the surgeon has allowed her home tomorrow for a few hours for her daughter's 16th birthday party.

I never dreamed that she would be on the road to recovery so quickly.

I am afraid that the one thing that we hoped for has not happened, and her husband still can't accept the situation. He doesn't want to talk about it, and goes for a walk even it the sheet is pulled away from the stump. I don't know what we can do there, but we will continue to support him as well as Victoria.

Both Victoria and I shed a few tears when they removed the bandages, but not for sad reasons. We now KNOW that this is the beginning of her new life.

We both have an awful lot to thank the friends we have on this forum for the optimism they have instilled in us. We can never thank you enough. You showed us the way.

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Anne, you and Victoria may both be amazed at how quickly things start to move now... for me, at least, losing that painful, broken, infected foot gave me an instant shot of energy and renewed good health almost immediately. And yes, even with the postoperative pain, I felt FAR less pain than I did from the foot... sounds like Vicki's having a similar experience!

As for her husband, well, some folks just "adapt" at a slower pace. We can all hope and pray that he will eventually "come round" and understand that this was the best way to give his wife BACK her life, extreme though the measures may be. I can say from my own experience that, of all my family and friends, I found only one casual friend who simply could not "cope" with my situation... and I believe that was simply because she was not around often enough to stop seeing "the amputation" and start seeing ME. Once he sees his wife up and mobile and pain-free, I think he'll be better able to relax and accept. I certainly hope so.

My best to all of you... and a Happy Birthday to Lil Boffin!

take care... cherylm

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