Jump to content
Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
anne.brook

The journey has now begun

Recommended Posts

Anne, I'm sure you know what I'm going to say! This latest development is proof that you and Vicki BOTH did your jobs properly! Having gone through this together will bring you closer than ever.... even if she IS "around the corner and down the street" now.

This is not really an "end," you know... just the beginning of a new journey!

Well done to both of you!

take care... cherylm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just had to let you all know our exciting news. Victoria was told by the physio's today that she no longer needed to use her walking stick.

Secondly, she has decide that now is the time to return to work, over 4 years after that awful accident. To that end she put out her details, and has already had offers of interviews, and her phone is ringing off the hook.

I have also attached a link of Victoria and her daughter at a wedding, taken on Saturday.

http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k292/6da...ing003Small.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's great news and she looks really good in the photo.

I hope that the job she gets is all she wants it to be for this next phase in her life.

Sue

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I,ve just read your story and found it inspirational.Anne you

have done a terrific job in supporting vicki, I lost my mother

before my amputation and I desparately wished she could

have been there for me ,as in times such as this we all need

our mothers. Keep up the good work. I have a very close

family who gave me tremendous support and for those who

have to cope alone, this wonderful forum is a blessing. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In just under 2 weeks time my husband and I are off on our cruise. Thanks to the support both I and Victoria received from our friends, here in the forum, I know that I leave her much better equipped to deal with what is to come.

She has had a couple of disappointments with job interviews, but I expect that it the wrong time of year to be job hunting as people tend to stay put for Christmas bonuses etc.

Her husband returned yesterday, so time will tell if they can make a go of things.

Apart from the ever needed new sockets, our visits to the hospital have almost ended, and she has been discharged from physio. Her gait is not perfect, but she doesn't use a stick at all now,

I will still pop in from time to time, but thank you all for everything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest bearlover

Hi Ann! I have been yhinkink of you guy's! and their is a post from you! :) Have a wonderful time on your cruise it sounds great.. It also sounds like Vivki is doing wonderful :) So happy for the two of you. You are a wonderful Mum! I hope things work out for Vivki the way she would like with her husband.. Have a safe and enjoyable trip! Kudos to both of you! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What a journey this has been, Anne! I do thank you and Vicki for sharing it with us, and I hope you both will continue to "check in" occasionally with updates.

Tell Vicki not to be TOO "down" about the job hunt... it will happen when the time and the position are right. She no doubt will face some prospective employers who can't get past the leg... they are idiots and it's their loss. There are plenty of others who will recognize Vicki's determination and personal/professional strengths! Sometimes it's just a matter of "exposure"... my employer recently hired their second amputee (me being the first, as a continuing employee). I think/hope that I had some small part in that... having seen me back around the office, doing my usual things for the past year+ may have helped them see past the disability to recognize a good prospect!

I hope that things do work out with Vicki's husband... if they BOTH learned something from his reaction (I'm sure Vicki has; I HOPE he has) and are willing/able to talk it out honestly, it may yet prove to be a "growth experience" for them both and help strengthen their relationship in the long run. If not... well... Vicki knows now just how stong and adaptable she is, and what a support system she has in the rest of her family, and that will serve her well no matter WHAT happens.

Enjoy your cruise, Anne... you've certainly earned it!

take care... cherylm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just had to pop in before I go to bed for the night. Bear and Cherlym, I have to say that both of you have given Victoria and I more support than we ever could have hoped for.

At times when I was very down I could feel the love reaching out from Bear. Cherlym, although at times you were stern with me, it was just what I needed. Even if I didn't like what you were saying at the time, looking back, I know you were right.

Everyone who offered advice, listened, or even just commented played a part in just how well Victoria got to where she is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest bearlover

And Victoria will continue to amaze you! She will face some chllanges but has the stregth to try and over come them...Her new life has only just begun...Thank you so much for your kind words! Have a wonderful trip have fun and relax!! (((((Hugs))))) :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everybody. I'm back from my extended holiday and must admit that I feel much better for the rest.

Victoria has come on leaps and bound since I went away. She is now completely mobile without a walking stick.

She takes delivery of an adapted car next week, and although she hasn't had much luck in her search for work, so far is still hopeful of something turning up soon. Although there are disablement discrimination laws, somehow the lack of a leg appears to make a difference. I suppose it because of the Company's need to make adaptions.

Her husband came back for two weeks, but then left again, saying that he still needed time to come to terms with things. I am pleased to say that Victoria has now washed her hands of him, and has accepted that he is no longer part of her life.

She is still losing weight, but at a much slower rate, and the hospital doens't seem to think it is a major issue any longer.

Shrinkage is still causing a bit of a problem for Victora, in that she is no sooner cast than the socket needs re-lining, although this too is slowing down.

All in all I came home to a beautiful, brave, positive thinking daughter who is not going to let a thing like the loss of a leg get in her way.

Hope to catch up with all that is new in the forum soon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi everybody. I'm back from my extended holiday and must admit that I feel much better for the rest.

Victoria has come on leaps and bound since I went away. She is now completely mobile without a walking stick.

She takes delivery of an adapted car next week, and although she hasn't had much luck in her search for work, so far is still hopeful of something turning up soon. Although there are disablement discrimination laws, somehow the lack of a leg appears to make a difference. I suppose it because of the Company's need to make adaptions.

Her husband came back for two weeks, but then left again, saying that he still needed time to come to terms with things. I am pleased to say that Victoria has now washed her hands of him, and has accepted that he is no longer part of her life.

She is still losing weight, but at a much slower rate, and the hospital doens't seem to think it is a major issue any longer.

Shrinkage is still causing a bit of a problem for Victora, in that she is no sooner cast than the socket needs re-lining, although this too is slowing down.

All in all I came home to a beautiful, brave, positive thinking daughter who is not going to let a thing like the loss of a leg get in her way.

Hope to catch up with all that is new in the forum soon.

Good to hear from you and glad you are rested. You really needed it. I am also very glad that Victoria has washed her hands of the jerk. If he couldn't be there for her when it happened and she needed him he isn't needed now!

JudyH

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest bearlover

Hi everybody. I'm back from my extended holiday and must admit that I feel much better for the rest.

Victoria has come on leaps and bound since I went away. She is now completely mobile without a walking stick.

She takes delivery of an adapted car next week, and although she hasn't had much luck in her search for work, so far is still hopeful of something turning up soon. Although there are disablement discrimination laws, somehow the lack of a leg appears to make a difference. I suppose it because of the Company's need to make adaptions.

Her husband came back for two weeks, but then left again, saying that he still needed time to come to terms with things. I am pleased to say that Victoria has now washed her hands of him, and has accepted that he is no longer part of her life.

She is still losing weight, but at a much slower rate, and the hospital doens't seem to think it is a major issue any longer.

Shrinkage is still causing a bit of a problem for Victora, in that she is no sooner cast than the socket needs re-lining, although this too is slowing down.

All in all I came home to a beautiful, brave, positive thinking daughter who is not going to let a thing like the loss of a leg get in her way.

Hope to catch up with all that is new in the forum soon.

Good to hear from you and glad you are rested. You really needed it. I am also very glad that Victoria has washed her hands of the jerk. If he couldn't be there for her when it happened and she needed him he isn't needed now!

JudyH

Hi Ann! Happy to see you post again..It sounds like Victoria sounds like she is comming along. I know the fustrations of wanting a job ans having to go on a job intreview with a prosthetic leg. Some people can not look beyond that. Iam currently fighting a case with the ADA American's with disability Act. Tell her tp keep looking sosmething will come along. They will over look her disability and focus on her abilties. :)

(((((hugs )))) to bothe of you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good to hear from you. Glad you enjoyed your vacation and happy that Victoria is doing so well. Her husband sounds like he is no great loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome back, Anne... I'm so glad you got a well-needed rest! It sounds like you and Vicki are both doing well... and as for hubby... well... we now know who the "strong one" in that marriage was, and it will serve her well in the future!

I'm glad to hear that Vicki's still gung-ho on the job hunt. Having a car may be an advantage for her on that front, as she wouldn't be confined to working close to transit lines. And yes, someone out there WILL focus on just what strength, determination, and positive outlook she's needed to come back from her amputation, instead of worrying about "the leg," and that will mean a good position for her.

My own employer had some concerns when I first returned to work... for the longest time, folks would try and "help" me or suggest various "gadgets" that they thought would "make my life easier." The reality? I needed ONE accommodation: a desk chair with arms. Vicki will find her "necessary accommodations" as well... and I'm willing to bet that they will be a LOT less than anyone is anticipating at this point!

Thanks for the "update" on both of you!

take care... cherylm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Friends. I just don't know where the time goes, but I thought it was a good time to bring you all up to date with Victoria's progress.

She continues to do well, and now wears her leg for 12 hours a day and usually longer. she doesn't use a stick at all now and is completely off all medication. The remaining worry is her weight and she is continuing to lose around half a kilo a week, but one or two weeks there has been no loss at all.

Her husband has turned out to be a bigger heel than he has ever been, in that he is trying to get her to give up her house to give him half of the equity. Fortunately I was around when she took the call and managed to get her in to see a lawyer immediately. At last lady luck is o her side and because she started to buy the house before they were married, and the mortgage in in her name alone, he has no claim.

She now has a new man in her life. He turned up to repair a broken window some time ago, and they kept in touch. Well he seems well and truly smitten, and they come round to see us most days. I had forgotten how much she used to laugh, before the accident. She is still holding him at bay to some degree, but she will make her own mind up, when she is ready.

Still no luck on the job front. She seems to get to interview, then they see her leg and lose interest. But I am sure that the right job is out there for her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, Anne! You can tell Vicki that she's officially passed ME up... I still use a cane occasionally, outdoors! It's heartening to hear that she's making such a good recovery.

You know, I and several other amps I know went through a period of weight loss following our surgeries... in my case, I wish it had continued! I think it comes, first, from the body needing extra energy for the healing process, and then, later, from the fact that it takes so much more energy to move a prosthesis than it does a flesh-and-blood leg. In all the cases I know of, the weight loss slowed down and then stopped as the amps became better at matching their diets to their energy outputs.

Job hunting can be a chore even without the additional issue of "the leg": my sister, an accountant with 20+ years experience and NO health concerns, spent the better part of a year job-hunting, off and on, before finding a position that really fit her needs.

If Vicki thinks that the leg and the fear of having to make accommodations is getting in the way, perhaps she could try signing on with a temp-worker agency, or even doing some volunteer work? The idea with either one is to build up a post-amputation work record. If an employer sees first-hand how little impact "the leg" has on Vicki's effectiveness in a "temporary" position, they could very likely offer her a "permanent" one. At the very least, she'd build up a group of people who could serve as references for her with prospective employers.

Hubby is definitely a heel of the first order, and she's well rid of him... I'm so glad to hear that she's getting herself a nice social life going with "new guy!"

And how are YOU doing, Anne?

take care... cherylm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest bearlover

Awesome! 12 hours a day! she is amazing. Keep up the fight we all have it in us. Thanks for the up date I think of her often. Hope your doing good also!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi folks. Victoria continues to do well on a physical front. Work is still eluding her, but she is still applying for every job she can. The one thing that really worries me is that all the fight and determinatation she had to deal with the amp has vanished. He weight has dropped to a dangerously low level.

Her husband came to her house yesterday and he ransacked it, takling everything he wanted. He is still trying to get her to move out so that he can get his hands on the money. It's hard to think that such a short time ago they were supposed to be "in love".

On a happier note, the new man in her life is very supportive, but can't understand why she just stands still and takes everything her husband throws at her.

Forgive the ramblings of a worried mum, but sometime it helps just to pour out worries and feelings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi, Anne! You can tell Vicki that she's officially passed ME up... I still use a cane occasionally, outdoors! It's heartening to hear that she's making such a good recovery.

You know, I and several other amps I know went through a period of weight loss following our surgeries... in my case, I wish it had continued! I think it comes, first, from the body needing extra energy for the healing process, and then, later, from the fact that it takes so much more energy to move a prosthesis than it does a flesh-and-blood leg. In all the cases I know of, the weight loss slowed down and then stopped as the amps became better at matching their diets to their energy outputs.

Job hunting can be a chore even without the additional issue of "the leg": my sister, an accountant with 20+ years experience and NO health concerns, spent the better part of a year job-hunting, off and on, before finding a position that really fit her needs.

If Vicki thinks that the leg and the fear of having to make accommodations is getting in the way, perhaps she could try signing on with a temp-worker agency, or even doing some volunteer work? The idea with either one is to build up a post-amputation work record. If an employer sees first-hand how little impact "the leg" has on Vicki's effectiveness in a "temporary" position, they could very likely offer her a "permanent" one. At the very least, she'd build up a group of people who could serve as references for her with prospective employers.

Hubby is definitely a heel of the first order, and she's well rid of him... I'm so glad to hear that she's getting herself a nice social life going with "new guy!"

And how are YOU doing, Anne?

take care... cherylm

You know Anne - I try never to give advice, but...... if I were to I would like to think that it would be as constructive as what I just read from Cheryl. To me, it sounds the most resonable that I have read.

As for her husband - my wife's brother-in-law, (her sister's husband), did the same things to her after her stroke at 23, even to the point of taking their baby, as well as ransacking the house. There are heel's all over.

I remember a saying I heard once: "Time heals all wounds - and wounds all heels". (We like to think so anyway.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest bearlover

Iam hsppy she may have found someone who is able to look beyond her leg. This new guy sounds good. Now she needs to give that x a good swift kick in the back side. :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow the time flies. I didn't realise that it had been over six weks since my last visit.

However the passing time has been good time. Victoria is almost the girl she was before that horrific accident nearly 5 years ago. She laughs, argues, and most importantly looks to the future.

A job has still eluded her, but she continues to plague the job agencies and scour the situations vacant columns.

Her new man continues to make her happy, but is keen to move on to the next step. She is really not ready for that kind of commitment yet, and we keep on telling him that he must give her time and space when she needs it.

Her husband has really shown his true colours now, and even his emotional blackmail is not phasing her.

It seems strange that this journey started less than a year ago. I can still remember all my fears and the way this forum helped me to come to terms with Victoria's decision. So much has happened and I still know that I have my friends here to thank for the support when I needed it.

Although in some ways I am a fraud because it my daughter and not me that is the amputee, I feel part of your wonderful family.

I noticed that over 10,000 visits have been made to this thread. I truly hope and pray that our story has given at least one person the peace and hope that it gave to us each time one of you wonderful people lifted vour spirits.

Bless you all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I forgot to mention that It is now 4 weeks since Victoria lost any weight. She hasn't put any on, but at least we seem to have turned the corner on that front.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, Anne... so glad to get an update from you! It sounds like Vickie has indeed put her life back together nicely, and I'm thrilled that the weight loss finally stopped.

You are NOT a "fraud" here... you're a valued part of this community! And yes, I'm certain that others have been helped by reading this journal of Vickie's decision and recovery. The two of you have provoded a valuable service by sharing her story.

How are YOU doing now? All rested up?

take care... cherylm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest bearlover

Hello Ann! So happy to see you post again...Victoria sounds like she is doing well. Iam so happy about the weight loss. I hope her job hunt will go well. Having a car is good thing and she will feel more independed. As far as her new guy.. Let her take it one day at a time...Thanks for the up date..How are YOU doing these days?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi, Anne... so glad to get an update from you! It sounds like Vickie has indeed put her life back together nicely, and I'm thrilled that the weight loss finally stopped.

You are NOT a "fraud" here... you're a valued part of this community! And yes, I'm certain that others have been helped by reading this journal of Vickie's decision and recovery. The two of you have provoded a valuable service by sharing her story.

How are YOU doing now? All rested up?

take care... cherylm

Anne

We have followed your posts because it is a true story of overcoming adversity (on several fronts). I can easily second Cheryl"s statement that you are a valued part of this community.

This is witnessed by the number of people who looked at this thread.

Please keep us informed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×