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Gil Davis

Mostly For Over 40's

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Those were the happy days...they seem so far away.

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting

board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food

poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw

sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown

paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a

pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a

pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE...and risked permanent injury with a pair of high

top Keds (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes

with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any

injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we

are now.

Flunking gym was not an option...even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be

much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and

staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we

had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed

to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station,

Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah...and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that

bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction

sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of

Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine

did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49

bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the

contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such

a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got

our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on

the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she

could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for

being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were

from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were

obviously so duped by so many social ills that we didn't even notice that

the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T—

SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING.

Pass this to someone (over age 40, of course), and brighten their day by

helping them to remember that life's most simple pleasures are very often

the best!

:D :D :D :P

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Gil, that is priceless. It made me feel very nostalgic. Those really were "the good ole days", weren't they. Thank you for sharing it.

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Well, I'm not over 40, but I can identify with everything you listed. :P I very clearly remember the gravel pile in the vacant lot. We had a trail over it and would sort of jump (loft over)it on our bicycles. Then my buddy(yeah, right!) dared me to hit it as fast as I could go. WRONG thing to do. I flew, and it was cool, but I broke the seat, bent my handle bars, and bent both pedals! The I picked my broke self up and set about scavenging parts to fix my bike! Yeah, those were the days. :lol:

Cue the Archie and Edith Bunker sound bite :D

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Gil, I'm 51 and totally relate!

I remember, too... only AM radio. Those awful echo chambers in the back speakers of the "cool" cars. Little wax bottles of syrupy stuff that resembled pop "bottles" (yes, remember bottles?). First grade, our milk came in little glass bottles with the paper stoppers.... Yikes, I'm old!

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Lunch boxes with Thermos bottles with GLASS liners....! I don't know how many times I went running onto the playgroud before school, tossed my lunch box against the wall, and returned to find a broken thermos, leaking milk all over my sandwich!

And all the "men who came to sell".... we had a traveling bakery truck, the milk man, the man from Jewel Tea who had a whole catalog of "goodies" to sell to the housewives "on easy, low-low credit." They all had their routes and Mom would get so excited if one of the traveling salesmen were coming and she was able to buy something.

Oh, and sneaking down into the culvert at the end of our street to catch tadpoles... during one of those summers when three months off school seemed like FOREVER............

I though I was getting "old" when servicemen and -women started looking like little kids to me... NOW my DOCTORS look like little kids!

You're right, Marilyn.... we're OLD.

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I've never told anyone this before. When I was growing up (the Dark Ages) I found I could catch loads of crayfish in the Spring. They looked like tiny lobsters so I sneaked and empty #2 can out and proceeded to boil and eat a few. They were GOOD!!!

My parents never could figure out why I wasn't at all hungry at dinner-time. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::unsure:

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Senior Dress Code -

Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

11. Thongs and Depends

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Oh, thanks, Gil!!! I needed that! :lol:

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Gil, that was just hilarious. I am starting my day with a huge laugh thanks to you. :lol: :lol:

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Close your eyes..... And go back....

Before the Internet or the Mac,

Before the semi-automatic and crack

Before chronic and indo

before sega or super nintendo

way back........

i'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.

sittin' on the porch, hot bread and butter.

the good humour man,

red light, green light.

chocolate milk,

lunch tickets,

penny candy in a brown paper bag.

playin' pinball in the corner store.

hopscotch, butterscotch, double dutch,

jacks, kickball, dodgeball, y'all !

mother may I ?

red rover and roly poly

hula hoops and sunflower seeds,

jolly ranchers, banana splits,

wax lips and mustaches runnin' through the sprinkler

the smell of the sun and lickin' salty lips....

wait........

watchin' satuarday morning cartoons, fat albert, road runner,

he-man, the three stooges, and bugs,

or back further, listening to superman on the radio

catchin' lightening bugs in a jar,

playin' sling shot.

when around the corner seemed far away,

and going downtown seemed like going somewhere.

bedtime, climbing trees,

an ice cream cone on a warm summer night

chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe butter pecan

a cherry or vanilla coke from the fountain at the corner drug store

a million mosquito bites and sticky fingers,

cops and robbers, Cowboys and Indians,

sittin' on the curb, playin' barefoot in the rain

jumpin' down the steps,

jumpin' on the bed.

pillow fights

runnin' till you ran out of breath

laughing so hard your stomach hurt

being tired from playin'.... remember that?

I ain't finished just yet.....

Eating Kool-Aid with sugar.

Remember when there two types of sneakers for girls and boys

(Keds & P.F. Flyers) and the only time you wore them at school was for "gym." When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up, if you even had one

When nearly every everyone's mom was at home when the got there.

When nobody owned a purebred dog.

When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter was a miracle.

When milk went up one cent and everyone talked about it for weeks?

When you'd reach into the muddy gutter for a penny.

When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.

when your mom wore nylons that came in two pierces.

When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done every day.

When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and pumped, without asking, for free, every time. and you didn't pay for air. and, you got trading stamps to boot!

when laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.

when any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and , nobody cared, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed....and did !

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em

Didn't that feel good...just to go back and say, yeah, i remember that !

There's nothing like the good old days! they were good then, and they're good now when we think about them.

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Signs You've Grown Up

1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a-one of them.

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

17. Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than

settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy

test kits.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you

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:lol: :lol:

Guess I'm grown.......

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"Signs that you live in the 21st century:"

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.

2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"

4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.

6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.

7. You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.

8. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

9. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

10. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.

11. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.

12. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.

13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.

18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.

20. You turn off your Modem and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.

22. You wake up at 2am to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed.

23.You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

24. You're reading this.

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:rolleyes::blink: :) :D

THEY ALL APPLY...AS THE KIDS SAY, WE ARE OLDER THAN DIRT :( ALMOST. BUT YOU KNOW, WE GREW UP WHEN MOST PEOPLE STILL HAD MORALS. :)

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I've never told anyone this before. When I was growing up (the Dark Ages) I found I could catch loads of crayfish in the Spring. They looked like tiny lobsters so I sneaked and empty #2 can out and proceeded to boil and eat a few. They were GOOD!!!

My parents never could figure out why I wasn't at all hungry at dinner-time. :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::rolleyes:

:blink: Gil, are those anything like the Lobster Bites @ Long John Silvers??????? YUMMMMMMM

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Guest bearlover

Don't remeber to much of it..But have heard my parents and older siblings speak of this..Thanks for posting it was fun reading! :)

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Just came across this exercise suggested for the over 40's to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy so I thought that I'd pass it on to some of my friends and family. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kg potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

2. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato sacks. Then 25kg potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 50kg potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute (I'm at this level).

3. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks....

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Just came across this exercise suggested for the over 40's to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy so I thought that I'd pass it on to some of my friends and family. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kg potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

2. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato sacks. Then 25kg potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 50kg potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute (I'm at this level).

3. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks....

Is there another way of exercising? :D

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I've never told anyone this before. When I was growing up (the Dark Ages) I found I could catch loads of crayfish in the Spring. They looked like tiny lobsters so I sneaked and empty #2 can out and proceeded to boil and eat a few. They were GOOD!!!

My parents never could figure out why I wasn't at all hungry at dinner-time. :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:

:ph34r: Gil, are those anything like the Lobster Bites @ Long John Silvers??????? YUMMMMMMM

There are some similarities, but the crayfish are much smaller. See: http://blancher.net/prod0311.htm

for pictures of "mudbugs", same thing. They are also called crawdads, crawfish and are really popular in the South.

Long John Silver's wasn't invented yet when I was younger. :ph34r::rolleyes:

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Gil, we buy them by the sack and boil them at home or already cooked at the local seafood market. There's nothing better than a good old crawfish boil with corn, potatoes, and anything else you can think of to throw in the pot. But there must be lots of cold beer iced down. Yumm.....it's getting to be the season. Y'all come over. We'll do some this weekend :P

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Marcia

Thanks for the offer. Once I get a few projects underway I may take you up on that. Always wanted to see that part of Mississipi!

You've got all the good eatin' down there. :P :P :P

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THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

We Must Stop This Immediately!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are

heavier, And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent

message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection......... Well,REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them

screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think

they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the Telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there! All I can do is pass along this warning:

WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PS: Hope you all can read this, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were!

--Bill ;)

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PS: Hope you all can read this, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were!

--Bill ;)

I am having the same problem Bill. However, I have found a solutiion: Try this link:

"C:\my downloads\FOR OLDER FOLKS... .EXE"

I'm just going to guess that it will work here. Sometimes it does and others............well, not. It is a link that when activated, turns your cursor into a magnifying glass. I keep the shortcut to it on my desktop, so when I do get those emails from inconsiderate people who write in 6's and 4's, I can bring it up to my size 10. (Yeah - right!!) I won't know until I post this whether it works or not. If it doesn't, I'll try to find another way.

Honest now.....I'm not fooling. It really does work. :)

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Nope - It didn't work when I copied and pasted it either, but it is the address that I get when I go to my "properties". Someday I'll see if I can find the orginal email that this was sent to me on. Sorry.

Cat, if you want to delete all of this.........

I would, but I don't have an edit button like some people. Ahumpfh

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