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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
Running AK

unprofessional?

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Bless you, Shane!

You're quite right about people who shamelessly promote their own self-image becoming tiresome very quickly, and I know from experience that such behaviour is often based in insecurity, and it's only by finding oneself in a universally supportive and non-judgemental environment that those insecurities can be replaced with real self-confidence, so that a more realistic way of relating to others can develop.

I like to think I'm reasonably level-headed nowadays, but 27 years ago, after the accident that eventually led to my amputation, I behaved like an idiot. In the absence of any peer support, I knew no better; I was clutching at straws for self-esteem, aggrandizing the most preposterous things about myself, because I wasn't yet able to accept the rest of my life as disabled.

It took many months and some incredibly patient and wonderful (and forgiving!) friends to put up with me, and eventually I came out of my "castles in the sky", but only when I felt it was safe to do so. I had been set a patient, indulgent, supportive, encouraging example, and nothing else would have worked.

I imagine that 27 years ago, I would have been kicked off this forum, had it existed, even though I desperately needed it - and this is the point: our support MUST be unconditional.

We should always be prepared to support another amputee, regardless of provocation, arrogance, boasting, and even examples of the best kind of defence - offense. They may need support on deeper levels than is apparent, and it may take longer than is apparent.

I know we can do it!

So let's do it...

Roz. :)

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Guest bearlover

Iam not bragging! But loosing my leg was not all that tramatic on me. I think having a life time of problems with a bith defect leg. And having a life time a wearing braces on that leg and it was very infrected towards the end. It still has not been all that awful on me. My Dr.'s are amazed at my attitude and acceptance of the amputaion. I think because of the life time of heck and pain I had it really has not hit me. I think I knew the day was comming when I have to loose it. I had a life that was less than perfect since infancy..The only thing that really bugs me is the non stop phantom pain :blink: And the more surgries and pain a amoutee has before the more they have after..And I have had a life time of pain..For me the amputation is just another phase in my life. ;)

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Hi everyone,

I'm new to the site and I'm still learning how things work here but this is my opinion. I have read the recent post's bye sForza. Yes, I think he was wrong for what he was doing but I believe Johnny V (administrator) was very unprofessional in the way he took care of it. He made a joke out of it.

Sorry, I must disagree. Johnny has the most difficult job and he does it very well. When you have been here longer you will understand. I know he would appreciate it if we would all get back on subject.

JudyH

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Years ago there was an actor named Walter Brennan. He played the part of the patriarch in a TV show called, "The Real McCoys. His favorite saying was: "Tain't brag - just fact"

Sometime it's hard to tell the difference...... especially on a forum such as this where we are all trying to lend encouragement to those just coming into our club, or those needing assistance.

I receive letters and calls asking what I do for depression? "What depression", I ask. "I have none". Is this bragging or fact. (It's fact, hopefully told modestly). To try to help them believe in themselves, I relate what as an amputee I have accomplished. In short, I tell my story.

When I do, (which I try to do where I feel they are needed for encouragement), I am sure that some think that I am bragging, (fortunately not many).which is not in my psychie to do. I have been blessed with an aggressive personality which is willing to try most anything - at least once. As a result, I have discovered that I can do just about anything I want with this leg. I just don't know how to tell myself "NO". I try to pass this attitude on to others who seem to want or need it.

I haven't read what the fellow Sam has said, (and don't care to), but the gist I get from the other posts is that his tale seemed rather tall. I wasn't there, so I can't judge whether his stories are true are not. By the same token, I don't know that they are not true. If it turns out that he needs to bolster his stories for acceptance, then he has other problems, but I've heard many do this and they weren't amputees. I'll believe most anybody - until they show me that I can't. Then it's hard to win my trust back.

A B-Ser will eventually trip themselves up. Until then I give them the benefit of the doubt.

This throwing darts around this forum is DEFINITELY one of the reasons that I am seldom around anymore. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" about all of this new bickering and bellyaching. I liked it much better when everyone got along and we were here to help others and not get into personal quarrels. Take the arguements outside. (PM)

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Jim, that is exactly why we need you to remain.... :( :( it will sadden most if you are not around to kidd with....,what happened, happened. And it may never happen again....this forum needs more people such as you to help mend hurt feelings.

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Hi

I have been on this site right from the beginning longer than Johnny and longer than most of our members.

I have seen people come and seen people leave and some came on this site very quietly and left with a bang,other's seem to keep them self's to there self,other's want to tell the world how good they are other's listen then there are people asking question's and other's giving answer's that's the way this site as worked and it as worked well.

There have been people come on this site and you know as an amputee yourself that they are not amputee's but in most case's you grin and bare it.

So when someone like the young man mention above said how he could do all these thing's some people will get annoyed about what he was saying and then for him to call them names was very rude so I think now we should draw a line under this thread and try and get back to normal.

It's still the best site for Amputee's.

Come on Jim keep posting we will miss you like we have missed Eddie.

Pat.

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Thank you Ann and Pat for your comments. Both points were very well made

Every society has it's share of phonies and braggarts. This cyber one is no exception. We just have to be able to: "Separate the Wheat from the Chaff"..

I'll be around from time to time to lend my: "Experience, Strength and Hope". I believe that this forum is too important to those in need. I didn't know of anything like this during my early years as an amputee. In fact, not for 16 of my 18 amputee years. My wife and I had to "wing it" during all of that time, never even talking to another amputee, (except one or two briefly, including my prosthetist during the first 6 months). I give out this web site address now, to many of my customers who have an interest and questions.

Yes, I am a firm supporter of the HMM forum. I just don't have the time or the inclination for childish posturing, which I apparantely need to learn to overlook better. Thank you for the reminder.

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