Sparky 3 Report post Posted May 1, 2008 Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children. and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SusanI 0 Report post Posted May 5, 2008 Pretty Good, Sparky! lol! Plus, because he chopped off her hand, it's amputee related! Susan Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SusanI 0 Report post Posted May 5, 2008 Pretty Good, Sparky! lol! Plus, because he chopped off her hand, it's amputee related! Susan Opps! Just realized I responded to a post that was almost a year old - first post Red Riding Hood - you all will be wondering what I'm responding to! I'm a bit late, but oh well. Susan Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky 3 Report post Posted July 20, 2008 A prominent American reporter did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From the reporter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old sexist custom. The reporter approached one of the Afghan women and asked, "Why do you now seem content with this old custom that indicates women's inferiority to men?" The woman looked the reporter straight in the eye, and without hesitation, replied: "Land mines." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat 2 Report post Posted July 21, 2008 I see nothing wrong with that Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eag 22 Report post Posted July 21, 2008 A prominent American reporter did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From the reporter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old sexist custom. The reporter approached one of the Afghan women and asked, "Why do you now seem content with this old custom that indicates women's inferiority to men?" The woman looked the reporter straight in the eye, and without hesitation, replied: "Land mines." 'Sparky' I don't blame them. Probably would do the same thing. ;) ann Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky 3 Report post Posted September 10, 2008 She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment.' My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.' Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her 'T' shirt still around her neck. A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?' She explained, 'The egg timer's broken. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mmarie 13 Report post Posted November 24, 2008 NINE WORDS WOMEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever'). (8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU! (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mmarie 13 Report post Posted November 25, 2008 My brother's response to the above NINE WORDS MEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word men use to indicate that they're tired of hearing the heavily-partisan details of the four-year-old argument that occurred when the wife believed you had looked too long at the ass of the neighbor's British cousin who was not really all that hot to begin with but had a thread hanging off the back pocket of her jeans. (2) Five Minutes: when men say this, what they mean is "five minutes". This may also mean slightly less than five minutes. (3) Nothing: when this is employed, what men really mean is "nothing". (4) Go Ahead: used to indicate an ambivalent attitude about whether is happens or not. So really, go ahead. (5) Loud Sigh: This is also a non-verbal statement to which all women should pay attention. We use the loud sigh to indicate that were you a man, we would currently be beating your ass to a pulp and perfectly willing to face charges. (6) That's Okay: used to indicate that we men KNOW you are dead wrong and the knife attack was probably hormonal. (7) Thanks: word not found in men's dictionary. (8) Whatever: This means "shut up" and is sometimes followed by a loud sigh (see item 5). (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: another simple male statement which means exactly what it looks like. We know, you can't possibly lift the four pound bag of garbage and possibly take it to the garage; we know that putting air in a car tire requires higher education you apparently missed, and your breasts somehow preclude you from picking up that newspaper that's been in the front yard for three days. your dear brother Jack Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky 3 Report post Posted April 15, 2010 Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eag 22 Report post Posted April 16, 2010 Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut. OMG ~ we have our 'Sparky' back on line!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat 2 Report post Posted April 16, 2010 Q. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? A. Make him wear shoes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky 3 Report post Posted April 21, 2010 Why is a wedding dress white? So the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eag 22 Report post Posted May 21, 2010 Cute Sparky, cute. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat 2 Report post Posted July 29, 2010 How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two. If you slice them very thinly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie2 5 Report post Posted August 10, 2010 How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two. If you slice them very thinly. LOL ... brilliant! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Farquhar 2 Report post Posted August 11, 2010 Men are like lava lamps fun to look at, but not all that bright. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie2 5 Report post Posted August 11, 2010 Men are like lava lamps fun to look at, but not all that bright. LMAO!!! Priceless! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites