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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
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Jim T.

Quickies

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Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and

values.

Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure. What was her maiden name?"

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my

intelligence come from?"

The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,

cause I still have mine.

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like

the looks of your wife at all,"

"Me neither doc," said the husban d. "But she's a great cook and really

good with the kids."

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder

1. All the DNA is the same.

2. There are no dental records.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied "A golf gun?!

What is a golf gun?"

"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing

the tightest pants he's ever seen.

Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks,

"How do you get into those pants?"

The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by

buying me a drink."

Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn

by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.

He said, "I did that by accident."

She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."

He replied, "How did you know?"

She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole" afterwards."

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Loved 'em, Jim :P

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:D :D :D :D very funny

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very good, i've not heard any of them before, but i'm sure my hubby will be sick of em by the end of the weekend :lol:

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Brilliant, made my day.

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of OAPs when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks her: "Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?"

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

"We just love the chocolate around them."

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