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lisa

Skin Grafts

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Hi

I seem to have so much going around in my brain. Those of you who have read previous posts will know I have skin grafts upto my thigh on my stump leg. There is an area on my knee that has never properly healed and obviously the surgeons are doing everything in their power to help me. I had a silicon sock that went upto my high which has become my security blanket as it covers my skin grafts. Where I lost the fat on my leg is barely detectable under my sock as it is like a super duper support tight. Yesterday I had to have this cut down to help the skin breathe which has left my skin grafts on show. I am gutted! I don't think people understand why i feel this way when I wear shorts when I have a prosthetic leg on show with no cosmesis on it. I am very grateful that I have my knee as I have seen how difficult it can be for above knee amputees but I am repulsed by how my leg looks. I have two options, which are to continue to wear the clothes I have been wearing and feel conscious that people are disgusted with what they see or cover up. I know deep down that the problem lies with how I feel about myself rather than what people are actually thinking. I have a really poor body image and this really hasn't helped things. Sometimes I can't believe how many journeys we actually have to go through just to get through the day. If you knew me you probably wouldn't believe that I felt like this, because to the outside world I am this strong confident woman, which I am but sometimes life can be so hard.

Now I've shed a few tears I will probably be ok tommorrow. Lol

Lisa

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Hi

I seem to have so much going around in my brain. Those of you who have read previous posts will know I have skin grafts upto my thigh on my stump leg. There is an area on my knee that has never properly healed and obviously the surgeons are doing everything in their power to help me. I had a silicon sock that went upto my high which has become my security blanket as it covers my skin grafts. Where I lost the fat on my leg is barely detectable under my sock as it is like a super duper support tight. Yesterday I had to have this cut down to help the skin breathe which has left my skin grafts on show. I am gutted! I don't think people understand why i feel this way when I wear shorts when I have a prosthetic leg on show with no cosmesis on it. I am very grateful that I have my knee as I have seen how difficult it can be for above knee amputees but I am repulsed by how my leg looks. I have two options, which are to continue to wear the clothes I have been wearing and feel conscious that people are disgusted with what they see or cover up. I know deep down that the problem lies with how I feel about myself rather than what people are actually thinking. I have a really poor body image and this really hasn't helped things. Sometimes I can't believe how many journeys we actually have to go through just to get through the day. If you knew me you probably wouldn't believe that I felt like this, because to the outside world I am this strong confident woman, which I am but sometimes life can be so hard.

Now I've shed a few tears I will probably be ok tommorrow. Lol

Lisa

Lisa,

I, too, thought that I would be totally self conscious - but I am not. My theory is if someone doesn't like the way it looks - thenthey can look the other way. Be proud, hold you head up. You have come through a lot.

JudyH

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Hi

I seem to have so much going around in my brain. Those of you who have read previous posts will know I have skin grafts upto my thigh on my stump leg. There is an area on my knee that has never properly healed and obviously the surgeons are doing everything in their power to help me. I had a silicon sock that went upto my high which has become my security blanket as it covers my skin grafts. Where I lost the fat on my leg is barely detectable under my sock as it is like a super duper support tight. Yesterday I had to have this cut down to help the skin breathe which has left my skin grafts on show. I am gutted! I don't think people understand why i feel this way when I wear shorts when I have a prosthetic leg on show with no cosmesis on it. I am very grateful that I have my knee as I have seen how difficult it can be for above knee amputees but I am repulsed by how my leg looks. I have two options, which are to continue to wear the clothes I have been wearing and feel conscious that people are disgusted with what they see or cover up. I know deep down that the problem lies with how I feel about myself rather than what people are actually thinking. I have a really poor body image and this really hasn't helped things. Sometimes I can't believe how many journeys we actually have to go through just to get through the day. If you knew me you probably wouldn't believe that I felt like this, because to the outside world I am this strong confident woman, which I am but sometimes life can be so hard.

Now I've shed a few tears I will probably be ok tommorrow. Lol

Lisa

Lisa,

I, too, thought that I would be totally self conscious - but I am not. My theory is if someone doesn't like the way it looks - thenthey can look the other way. Be proud, hold you head up. You have come through a lot.

JudyH

Lisa

There are a lot of us with grafts/scar tissue. Judy has the right idea, try to think of the skin grafts and scars as a badge of courage. It's probably harder for the ladies, but I did have this image of you as a "strong confident woman".

I don't know what to say about your "poor body image". You're the only one that can do something about that.

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Once again, Lisa, this will get better with time. It really will. I don't have skin grafts but I've got a pretty ugly scar. At first I had staples and that would have made a better scar, but I contracted MRSA and the dr had to go back and take about 2 more inches off my leg. He sewed it like a basting stitch so that it could continue to drain. So I've got the one long scar across with smaller scars going down thru the long one. I can't decide if it looks like a shark mouth or a zipper :P

I've probably said this before so please forgive me if I'm repeating myself. The first time I put on shorts I didn't have a prosthesis yet and I just broke down crying. Took those damn shorts right off. I thought, how am I ever going to be able to live like this. Time has passsed, and now I don't care. I'm very proud to be who I am.

Last weekend we were at a hotel having a good time out by the pool Someone had the music really going and the song, "Kung Fu Fighting" came on. Some people were dancing, you know doing the Kung Fu leg kick. Well, I don't know what came over me, I just had to do it. I unlocked my leg, stood up and when the lyric "everybody was kung fu fighting" came on, I kicked my leg out and sent it flying. It was hilarious. I think a scared a little boy pretty bad. He's probably in therapy now. :o But it was so funny and I had fun doing it.

It does get better. Just hang in there and vent about it every time you need to.

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Hi Lisa,

I have a skin graft on my thigh, which sounds similar to yours. After my accident and amputation, I was trying so hard to be what I considered as 'normal' and surpressed all the feelings and doubts about my body image. I did this for over a year, and sucessfully - up to a point! Then out it came, and I had a sort of crisis. I hated the way I looked, couldn't bear to see it, touch it, or for others to see it. I had such an outgoing personality and was confident - about all BUT my body image! I went to see a shrink at the limb centre, and it was the best thing I could have done - after about 15 months, I can now be more confident and to let others see the leg, uncovered! I had to keep a diary every day of my emotions, and how I felt. I also had to spend time sitting in front of a mirror - at home - in private, for 15 - 20 mins each day - that was so, so hard - seeing what I felt looked abnormal - my scars, the missing bit etc - BUT it did get easier to do and the emotion would come right up, and then subside and it got better each time. I spent lots of time in tears, but it did help. Now, I can actually take off the leg and liner in work, at lunchtimes, to rest it, without feeling so repulsed at the thought that others would think the same.

It does get easier - honestly.

Sue

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