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Stormy1952

Devotee

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If you think this topic over discussed and over analyzed, Bearlover, why are you still posting about it?

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Now, can we all just "agree to disagree" and move on?

Okay :P

I meant Okay, but I do have to respond to one thing. Who the H*** gave some of you women the idea that you are the only ones in life who have ever been preyed upon - and what in God's name makes the AMPUTEES so darn special. We lost our legs - not our spirit. Or at least I and some others I know didn't.

This happens everyday in every corner of the world, and in all walks of life. I do know that for a fact.

So, my suggestion is for everyone to quit their whining about being a girl or being vulnerable. We all are - or have been in our life in one way or another. This doesn't minimize for a second what some of you have been through at the hands of "people with an unusual interest, but you may not be the only ones.

Well, Jim, that probably wasn''t the best comment you've ever made. I wasn't aware that anybody was whining. I thought we were having a discussion.

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One question, then Im gone from this drawn out discussion.

Where is the person who started this topic? <_< <_<

You rang Dave 06? I am the one who started this dicussion. I have only been an amputee 2 years and 4 months but then in a dating site called Dating 4 Disabled I started running into the so called Devotees and I didn't know if they were safe or just weirdos and to steer clear of them.

Liz

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Guest bearlover
If you think this topic over discussed and over analyzed, Bearlover, why are you still posting about it?

Because questions were aimed at me...and because I can :D

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Guest bearlover

One question, then Im gone from this drawn out discussion.

Where is the person who started this topic? <_< <_<

You rang Dave 06? I am the one who started this dicussion. I have only been an amputee 2 years and 4 months but then in a dating site called Dating 4 Disabled I started running into the so called Devotees and I didn't know if they were safe or just weirdos and to steer clear of them.

Liz

Why not date a non disabled person? Missing a limb to some is really no big deal unless you make it one. Or make it a issue.

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One question, then Im gone from this drawn out discussion.

Where is the person who started this topic? <_< <_<

You rang Dave 06? I am the one who started this dicussion. I have only been an amputee 2 years and 4 months but then in a dating site called Dating 4 Disabled I started running into the so called Devotees and I didn't know if they were safe or just weirdos and to steer clear of them.

Liz

Why not date a non disabled person? Missing a limb to some is really no big deal unless you make it one. Or make it a issue.

No big deal?......what?...for who?.....it's a bloody big deal for me and all I lost is a foot. I'm extremely lucky that I am loved by someone who loves me for who I am.....lots of people don't have that....why on earth would you deny them finding someone.

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Can't we all just get along, LOL...

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Guest bearlover

One question, then Im gone from this drawn out discussion.

Where is the person who started this topic? <_< <_<

You rang Dave 06? I am the one who started this dicussion. I have only been an amputee 2 years and 4 months but then in a dating site called Dating 4 Disabled I started running into the so called Devotees and I didn't know if they were safe or just weirdos and to steer clear of them.

Liz

Why not date a non disabled person? Missing a limb to some is really no big deal unless you make it one. Or make it a issue.

Then those kind of people are not worth anyone..yes there are wonderful people who will accept. If some accaept it themselfs.

No big deal?......what?...for who?.....it's a bloody big deal for me and all I lost is a foot. I'm extremely lucky that I am loved by someone who loves me for who I am.....lots of people don't have that....why on earth would you deny them finding someone.

I think its a big deal if one makes it a big deal So we have lost a leg, foot, arm. whatever big deal, its the heart and good soul that makes a person not a limb..that is not what makes a person love or want another. Maybe its more than a misisng limb.

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To wrap this all up - for me, let me say that not in this life time will I understand what it is to be a woman - As it should be. However, to understand what it is to be the recipient of the advances and unwanted attentions of a "devotee" of a young vulnerable male - Much more than you can imagine. Like I said, you ladies do not have a monopoly on their attentions.

If my comments seem a little rough around the edges, it is perhaps because this has denegrated from a "discussion" to one of a more personal nature and had dredged up some memories better left forgotten.

I am not longer enjoying this ......... whatever it is now called. Certainly not a discussion. I choose not to be any further fodder for the imaginations of the "devotees" that I am sure are........ giggling with delight over this conversation.

So, again to answer Cherlym's suggestion that we all agree to disagree on this subject, my answer is still.....

OKAY. I'll leave this to the rest of you to "fight out".

Oh - and also, for those of you that are surprised to find the devotees here....... I suggest that you get out more often.

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I'm a women amputee and have accepted this well. I have been taought not to feel sorry for myself young in life also that life is not fair. What Jim T. said is fine. Some people can't deal with about it I quess. Some just don't know what is important in life. Life goes on. reurardless of what we have lost. Some need to suck it up and deal.

Yes, bearlover you are..... But...... just because you have dealt with it, in your fashion.. doesn't mean every one else has or will deal with it the same way that you have and it is really unfair to try to brow beat them into thinking like you do.. just cause you say it, it ain't always so... as they say.....

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Well, at least the tone of this thread has lightened a little...

Jim, as I suspected, there was an unlying current there that got you so riled. Your right, in one aspect. A person doesn't have to be female to be vulnerable,your right there, or strong.. many children can be strong and a most of them are vulnerable. It was my bad for not finding the "right" word there. I don't think everyone uses being female or vulnerable as an excuse, but I do think people feel that way. I'm sure that this thread has dredged up many unwanted feelings for others as well as you..As a matter of fact, I know it has... At first you were ready to "play", your words there, and then you were ready to fight.. Nice to hear the old Jim back again.. Always a voice of steady reason.

Bearlover....you must remember, you are you and you cannot speak for everyone else.. What ever happen to your compassion for others? In your world everything is hunky dory.. Well, it's not always that way for everyone else.. What about the person who works on heavy machinery, became an amp, and has to aware of the fact that with each "step" while they are doing their job, they could maime, kill, or cripple someone else? Would you really want that person to "get on with it" with out a second thought. Or the man who feels striped of his manhood because he can no longer due the job he used to, to support his family?

To be frozen by fear, no, to be considerate.. I sure as h**l hope so.. So you see, our amputations do effect us in all "walks' of our life...

As for getting on with it, well, as I've said, you don't know me... I would be the last person I know that those words need said to.. Let's see, I'm a housewife,mother, nurse's aide, lady farmer,(which includes working with cattle) tax preparer, pari-mutuel clerk, and state representative of ACA for my state, as well as a peer visitor. I ride horses, 4-wheelers, and motorcycles. There are many members of this forum who know me personally and I'm sure that they would all say that I have dealt with it.

Have we all forgotten that the point here is not to "fight it out"? It started as a healthy informative discussion and because someone would not bend to someone, soon disintegrated to a near fight..and that's really too bad... someone else may have learned from us, but decided to leave when the fighting and brow beating started.

You know, in my eyes, we are all the same, and here because one thing joins us together. Being an amputee. Isn't that why we really joined? Because we wanted to make contact with someone going through/living with the same thing we are? To hold out a hand to help the new person, or look for an answer to a question we might have..hoping someone can answer it. To learn about someone else's opinion of a prosthetic that they might have tried or that we are considering trying before we make the expensive (when aren't they) purchase. It's amazing that we have all came to this point from all over the world to join in a common friendship. To hold out a hand....either in friendship or help.....

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I actually hope that this thread can continue... NOT as a hot-button issue or an endless argument, and NOT as a place to tell "dev horror stories," but as a source of information, especially for the "newbies" among us.

This thread started with a genuine question from someone who wasn't sure what to make of the "dev issue." A couple of years ago, that "someone" could easily have been me, and I certainly would have appreciated getting some guidance from experienced, intelligent amps who had already "been there." I hope that, with all the "conversation" that's been flying here, Stormy1952 got some of the information she was looking for. She's certainly learned -- along with the rest of us -- that the "dev question" is a controversial one!

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Guest bearlover

I'm a women amputee and have accepted this well. I have been taought not to feel sorry for myself young in life also that life is not fair. What Jim T. said is fine. Some people can't deal with about it I quess. Some just don't know what is important in life. Life goes on. reurardless of what we have lost. Some need to suck it up and deal.

Yes, bearlover you are..... But...... just because you have dealt with it, in your fashion.. doesn't mean every one else has or will deal with it the same way that you have and it is really unfair to try to brow beat them into thinking like you do.. just cause you say it, it ain't always so... as they say.....

All i'm saying is that a person with a good caring heart who has values and who loves life and live each day to the fullest. A missing limb shoud not hold one down. Like Jim, said get out more and get a life. :)

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Bear, I don't thing anyone's disagreeing with you there! No matter how many limbs one does or does not have, or what other challenges we may or may not face, the part of a person that REALLY matters is the part that's inside.

(Except, of course, to a dev who is a true fetishist... which is why they are not likely to be a good partner in a relationship!) :D

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All i'm saying is that a person with a good caring heart who has values and who loves life and live each day to the fullest. A missing limb shoud not hold one down. Like Jim, said get out more and get a life. :)

I think the one thing that is being overlooked here, is, not everyone can just "get out" to live life. After being physically broke in half, I understand that as well as anyone. I have served my time in a wheelchair. Others, are not always so lucky in their rehabilitation. Maybe it's both legs, and they are bilateral and it isn't so easy for them to function. Some people are quite happy living their lives the way it makes them content, and should by no means feel less because they don't quite seem to fit the mold..It doesn't mean they don't have a good caring heart. It means, simply, maybe they can't do it.

Geesh..... talk about coming full circle.

Cheryl, I agree in the aspect that the need for knowledge and awareness about devo's, fetishes, etc.

I like you, hope that the thread will continue in the true aspect that it got started and not the "hot button' it became as you so aptly stated. Just informative.

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All i'm saying is that a person with a good caring heart who has values and who loves life and live each day to the fullest. A missing limb shoud not hold one down. Like Jim, said get out more and get a life. :)

I agree. But that has nothing to do with being aware of devs.

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One question, then Im gone from this drawn out discussion.

Where is the person who started this topic? <_< <_<

You rang Dave 06? I am the one who started this dicussion. I have only been an amputee 2 years and 4 months but then in a dating site called Dating 4 Disabled I started running into the so called Devotees and I didn't know if they were safe or just weirdos and to steer clear of them.

Liz

Why not date a non disabled person? Missing a limb to some is really no big deal unless you make it one. Or make it a issue.

How can you date a non disabled person when you can't find one who will date you. I am in two dating sites for normal people and all the men I have meet in there have only one thing on their mind and it is a piece of ass. They don't look at me like I am a human being with feelings who wants to be loved just like they want to. Life is starting to suck big time.

stormy1952

Then those kind of people are not worth anyone..yes there are wonderful people who will accept. If some accaept it themselfs.

No big deal?......what?...for who?.....it's a bloody big deal for me and all I lost is a foot. I'm extremely lucky that I am loved by someone who loves me for who I am.....lots of people don't have that....why on earth would you deny them finding someone.

I think its a big deal if one makes it a big deal So we have lost a leg, foot, arm. whatever big deal, its the heart and good soul that makes a person not a limb..that is not what makes a person love or want another. Maybe its more than a misisng limb.

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Thanks, Cat. That was very informative.

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Very interesting articles, Cat... thanks for the links!

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Another article has popped up.

F.Y.I.

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It really is hard for me to believe there are those out there who WANT to be amputees. That's just real sick!!!! I would love to have both legs ..... I will never stop wishing this had never happened to me. :(

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I had a couple try to add me as friends on facebook it was a little scary. Now I don't add anyone unless I know them personally too many people out there pretending to be amputees. We're always told at the CHAMP seminar beware of the internet and don't send pictures to strangers particularly of your limb or stump. I love my pictures with my new leg, ( particularly the one where i open a bottle of beer with my leg) and i do have them up on facebook but in the back of my mind I'm afraid to find them on some devotee website. I don't want to be anyone's stump buddy.

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Like many things in life, it's a bit of a balancing act to find the right degree of "caution" vs. "living freely." It's just an extra challenge for amps, with regards to devs.

Cat, I read that last one yesterday... if "devs" confuse and trouble me, "wannabes" are completely and utterly beyond my comprehension! I have such a hard time believing that anyone would want to inflict such damage to a healthy limb without a medical reason! Heck... I don't even really understand nose jobs....!!

I have to think that these folks really do NOT understand what comes along with limb loss... so many alterations in your life, many of them annoying and some of them downright dangerous... why would someone WANT that?

Does anyone know whether these folks who are so eager to lose the "foreign" limb then go on to use a prosthesis??

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Before this happened to me I didn't know about devs or wannabe's either. I would like to say though, that once they've conquered the tissue rejection issue, which seems to be very close from what I've read, then maybe I could find a wannabe who is about my size and shape as well as a willing surgeon, and we could work a trade. His leg for my non-leg.

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