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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
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A Poem

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The following poem was written by an 11-year-old girl who became a bka when a tree fell on her car. Her name is Kim.


This pain is mine,

Not yours.

It's mine. Not yours.

It's a phantom

That I can't see.

But it's as real

As you and me.

I nearly died,

But I'm alive.

Part of me is gone,

But still I thrive.

I was born to survive.

I'm stronger now

From my test.

Perhaps not stronger

Than the rest.

Just stronger

Than I was.

That's the thing surviving does.


Kim is a character in a novel I have been writing for not quite a year now. I can not reveal the plot for fear of a much more talented (or well connected) writer taking my idea. But I will tell you that Kim is doing well at the point when we meet her. She is the title character in the book "The Girl With the Bright White Light."

Please, do not be mad or think that I have tried to dupe you. I joined this forum last summer to research and learn about amputees. As I admitted to Johnny V in a personal email, at first it was just a "good idea" for a story problem to give to a character. Then I came here and I read some of your stories and I cried and cried and developed a real love for those of you who were actively posting at the time. And my story took on so much more meaning to me. It was not just a good idea anymore, but a true calling for me.

I had not posted any messages, nor had I signed in for quite a while when I received the email a few weeks ago about designating whether or not we are amputees or friends, etc. (hmmm, I still haven't done that). That was a blessing, it was as if I had been welcomed back. Before receiving that I felt that I did not belong here. I wrote to Johnny and told him what I was "up to" and he assured me what I am doing is fine.

So this is my first introductory posting. I want to thank many of you for your strength and inspiration. You have helped me take many "first steps" in other non-physical ways. For I could not have written the poem you see above if I did not know about pain and loss.

My book is not yet finished, as I said. I am in the revision stages. I want it to be perfect before sending it out. At some point I may try to find some volunteer readers to see if I have gotten your perspective accurately. That would be a great help. But that is still a few months away.

I guess maybe what I need the most right now is a reminder of the importance of a book like this.


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Looking forward to reading your story. I agree with you about the folks here, totally awesome bunch.

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Hi Lark!

Yes, an incredibly awesome bunch. And you know what else I love about coming here? The quotations many of you have at the end of your postings. Yours about starting over...well, I don't have to explain to you why that's great.

I love your name, too. I am an avid birder. My 3-year-old has dubbed me "Blue Jayee"! I have no idea why.

Look forward to getting to know all of you.


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