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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
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coues

1 year later

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Hi,

Well its been just a few days past a year since my accident and amputation. ( Dec 7th and 21st 08)

Are the feelings (im going through)like anger, sadness , scared,helplessness that have

come back the last few day a usual(so called normal) thing when the first year passes?

Its been pretty bad at night especially, its like a movie in constant re-run mode (everything that happened)in

my head.

I know that there are a great many good things that happened in this year, its just that the dates and the memories have got to me at bit.

Its been difficult not personally knowing anyone else that is a person with an amputation.

Of course not being one that talks a lot doesn't help either.

Seems and feels like my phantom pains are a bit worse as well. Not sure of the whys on that one though.

Thanks for letting me get some of this out.

Derrick

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You'll probably never forget the dates, but it will get easier to deal with them. After almost six years, my dates come and go almost without notice. I might think of it sometime during the day and think....."this was the day."

It is a grieving process much like when you lose a loved one. It is perfectly normal to feel all those feelings. It is only unnatural when those feelings dominate you. Don't allow that to happen.

Happy New Year to you Derrick.

Neal

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Very good advice from Neal, there! Derrick, I've been at this amp thing for almost five years now, and my first "anniversary" was a real challenge to get through. Lots and lots of conflicting emotions, there. I did what you've done here...I went on-line and sought out the advice of more mature amps. It got me through the "first anniversary blues"... and with each year, the impact of the date has gotten less. The last anniversary date, in fact, I almost forgot it!

It does get easier...just hang in there and try to keep your emotions in perspective. You'll be fine.

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Hey Derrick...

Yes, what you are feeling is completely normal...and I think we all carry that date somewhere in minds.. And, they do get easier with the passing of time.. For me, at the beginning, it was a monthly sort of thing, which then ventured to yearly... I always aknowlege it, (after all, it was a life changing event)but I don't let it be a priority any more..

Me, in 3 months, I will hit my 8th year as an amputee.... Mine, came because of the actions of another, and that was sort of hard at first to get over, but, in time, I did. I realized that by letting it bother me, I had given the person who's actions caused my amputation, more power. I vowed right then and there, never to give her anything else than what had already been taken, my left foot.

Keeping heart and soul busy, and filled with good things, will overshadow the bad..

We all need help sometimes in dealing with things, and there's nothing wrong in that..As Cheryl said, you have done what all of us have done at one point.. Went online looking for help..

That's what brings all of here to this forum.. Looking for other's like us..So... please feel free to join in anytime.. You are always welcome.. Just know that you are not alone...and what you are feeling is normal.. Many of us do understand it...

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Hi,

Thank You all.

Been a painful day.

Sorry for not saying much more.

I will get more typed in the AM.

Derrick

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Hi Derrick

I think that your feelings at the moment are pretty normal. Some people see this as grieving, I myself would liken it to a type of post traumatic stress, whereby you are coming out of a extremely difficult, poss painful and out of the ordinary experience, and its your head just coming to terms with it all.

I had my original amputations as a youngster and can't say at that age I gave the anniversary date a thought, but even now I can remember quite clearly the events of that summer, probably more than I remember what happened last summer or the summer before.

Just over a year ago though I had a revision amp., and when I got to the op date, a few months back, I was thinking about it all the time, the time I went to theatre, things that happened on certain dates. I spoke about it to hubby, who found it odd that I wanted to think about such things ... but I think we just do ... now I am past the date when I finished rehab and returned home etc. its kind of gone.

So I hope its will be the same for you, and in a few weeks or months your head will be in a different place, and completed this re-run mode of events ... not saying that you will ever forget as such ... but the memories will be more filed away, and you will be able to move forward more.

Meantime, be nice to yourself and don't worry about it too much, in my experience phantom/nerve pains are always worse when you worry about them.

Ann

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Hello Derrick,

Going to be my 7 yr. anniversary in April. Lost my legs above the knees while working at the railroad. Worked with prosthetics for 2 yrs., but it wasn't for me. It gets easier if you let it get easier. I've been lucky. No nightmares/dreams of my accident. Yes, I do go over it sometimes, but that's the past. You're alive and have friends and family to help you and they need for you to have the good attitude to help them. My biggest problem is the change of seasons. Can't do all the things I use to, but I try to do somethings. God bless and help you through this time. These wonderful people here will help with whatever questions you have.

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