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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
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Mary Farquhar

Feeling Sad.

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Hi All,

I'm not sure where to start but here it goes.....if you look back on other threads I'm sure you will have read my story. Just to refresh your minds, lol....I am a partial right foot amputee and have been having pain in the last 2-3 years. Last March it started to get worse and now the pain has once again increased tremendously. The thing is now my whole body is out of alignment and it's affecting my neck, upper back, hips, knees, and my stump....(hate that word) is hurting, sometimes burning and a bit swelled in one area. Since last summer I became aware that I had a soft tissue problem and only thing is to amputate higher. But then I found this site and heard about the Ertl procedure. Also found out about a new technology treatment in the US so I ended up going to NYC to try this treatment but in the end it helped for about a week. This type of treatment would mean me going to NY a lot and spending lots of money. So, I decided to go with the Ertl but I live in Canada and have to find a Dr that does this. I contacted Dr. Ertl and a few weeks later got a call from him. He would do the surgery. Now I am waiting for the cost of all this. During this waiting period I found out a Dr I saw in the past has done a few ertl's.....funny because I already had an appointment to see this Dr. So in March I was so anxious to see him but 2 days before my appoinment the office called and cancelled and my next appointment would be in May. Well, for 2 days I cried....I was so disappointed!!

My next appointment is almost here and thank goodness because I am in so much pain. All week I have been down, and emotional. I just want all this to be over. I want to know where I'm going in life. Feels like my life is passing me by. I have realized that I can't do anything anymore. Very difficult time in my life.

Thinking about the surgery...knowing it's for the best but sometimes I cry because I think what has my life become. Knowing I have to go through the surgery, go through the healing process, and learn to walk etc....Then I stop and think but I will have my life back...be pain free?!

Sorry, this is so long.....just need to get this off my mind. Nice to know other's out there understand.

Thanks for listening, or maybe just going to a different thread. LOL....

Mary

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Hugs to you Mary,

I hope your appointment is positive and definately gets you some answers and a plan to help with all the pain you are in! Sorry it is looking like another surgery-that is not fun no matter what way you look at it. It's hard to feel positive and motivated when you are in pain so I totally understand your thinking and feelings right now.

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Thinking about the surgery...knowing it's for the best but sometimes I cry because I think what has my life become. Knowing I have to go through the surgery, go through the healing process, and learn to walk etc....Then I stop and think but I will have my life back...be pain free?!

Mary

Life can be the hardest game to master, we all have gone through it and come out the other side better off. Getting your life back to what you want is for me worth a bit of surgery and pain.

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It is difficult somedays to feel positive and motivated when I am in so much pain. But I am very grateful for all that I have. I know going through this surgery will be worth it in the end.....all I want is my life back!! I have so many goals I want to achieve. I'm just not so patient anymore.....after all I have waited so long to see this Dr. Hopefully he can do the Ertl as well? For now all I can do is just get through these last days until my appointment.

Thanks!!

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Will be thinking of you, Mary. Be sure to let us know what the dr has to say. When I had my amp I really thought my life was over. Boy, was I wrong! Hang in there, girl. And remember we're all here for you.

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Mary, Sparky and Marcia are dead-on correct...getting a life back is worth the trouble it takes to get there. I'm guessing that you got so "down" because you thought you had a date for the appointment, that you might really get some answers and a timetable there...and then the appointment got postponed on you, and there you were stuck waiting again. I know that feeling!

"That feeling" even happens with non-urgent things...I've been dealing with it a lot, recently, as I go through waiting on various parts of my retirement and move coming together. Of course you'd feel frustrated with waiting for a chance of ending your pain and getting your life back!

Every time my foot broke down again, and I was back in pain, my own mood went straight for the dumper...once everyone got together on the amputation, and I knew the date was set, I was so very, very relieved that it was amazing. Your chances for a real improvement in your life are very good...try to hang on to that and do what you can to keep your spirits up until the new appointment.

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Will be thinking of you, Mary. Be sure to let us know what the dr has to say. When I had my amp I really thought my life was over. Boy, was I wrong! Hang in there, girl. And remember we're all here for you.

Yes Mary, we are right here for the comfort & information you need...I, too thought my life was mostly over {same as mmarie} but hey, I sure wasn't ready for the other option. :happy: I have a feeling you will zoom right through this bump.

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