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Gizmo

Words...

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wow Gizmo, you got the stone rolling on this one....30 replies already!

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Liliquoi, i think you've been typing too much...You've even even mixed my words up in your quotations...

I spoke for myself.I can appreciate that some people need to see the humour in it.

I'm also getting a bit lost in this conversation...... :rolleyes:

At the end of the day we're all just trying to deal with it the best way we can, whatever way that is..! B)

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Wow, so many answers to my posting... I am all excited!

Joking apart, I have a couple of questions for you (for a change..). Brenda, you said that a guy on a forum used the term "mutilated" - so was he an amputee or not? If he was not an amputee, he probably wanted to provoke or just feel superior to others by trying to degrade them; if he was an amputee it is perhaps his way of dealing with it, by giving it a morbid touch. if a person does not feel right about him/herself, he is often anxious to spread this dissatisfaction since he does not come to terms with the fact that others can cope a lot better than himself. And by using such a term he achieves his very goal: you get angry. Right?

But you also have to take into account that humor is not a homogenous thing: being in love with wicked, black humor, I find Lili´s humor hilarious. Sometimes she is overdoing it a little bit (I still owe her big time for the "posting tart"..), but as long as she has fun, who cares.. (and as long as she can provoke, I can imagine her sitting there, in San Diego (west, right, Brenda..?!)giggling like a teenager in love and having the time of her life.) But I do not think, that she is hiding her "true ego" behind the humor; to me she appears genuinely strong. What you see is what you get. No camouflage.. (I do not know her that well and perhaps I am jumping to conclusions, but we had a very long chat the other night - after which she was in a coma for a day - and I think I can read between the lines pretty well)

Caring, what is caring at all? According to my opinion, it goes a lot deeper than words. Words might be superficial lip service just not to hurt someone or not get into a conflict with someone.

Kaz, you keep repeating how strong you are (and also the way you choose your words leave this impression) - but then I again I fail to understand why you damn this guy so much, referring to him (without knowing his background) as not finding strength in the real world. Don´t misunderstand me: I am definitely not of the opinion that he was right, but I am always trying to find the underlying motive.But damning without (at least trying) to analyse looks like stereotyping to me. And that was what you challenged me for in one of your very first posting as far as I can remember. So everybody does it to a certain degree since it acts as a substitute for missing information.

Regards,

Gizmo

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Who am i damning? Hey ?what? Harsh words again... 'damning', wow!

Did i damn this guy? What guy?

How do you know if i'm missing information ?? How do you know what i already know?

I keep on repeating that i'm strong. ?? Where did i write that? No, i'm not strong. To answer your question. (did you ask?)

Me oh my....my brains fuzzed up. :blink: ..lost in words.. :blink:

I've had enough of this folks . :D ..Got to get up early, :rolleyes: :(

Kaz

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Kazzy,

you were just pming me, that you were waiting for my answer. So, here it comes.

First: You asked: which guy?the guy who used the word "mutilated". (damn in Austrian German is not really a harsh word - it was not intended to sound harsh, perhaps I ought to use "judge") I thought you had read the whole post before replying to it.. (Brenda´s post I mean).

Of course it might be that Brenda and you discussed the topic between the two of you and she gave you more information which led you to your conclusions.. (missing the strength to live in the real world) But then again it would be only fair to share this information with all of us so we can discuss properly.

I did not ask you if you are a strong person. Since to me it is obvious. At least on the outside.

I'm tall, slim and sporty and like showing off what i've got and so should you!!!!!! (reply to Savannah - that speaks of a lot of self-confidence, doesn´t it?)

Please do me a favor. Next time you go to the beach or to the pool put your head up high and ignore the stares. (same posting)

And there was another sentence somewhere which I do not find right away, which depicted you to be strong.

Regards,

Gizmo

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And, by the way, girl, your picture is still incomplete so I have not even got an idea whom I am having a duel with! Should put that on top of your priority list. didn´t Johnny promise to help you with that? Men and promises....LOL

Gizmo

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Ha Ha! :D :D :D Yes, me and Johnny are getting this straightened out.....but i'm away over the weekend so you're just going to have to wait :P Viel spass in Italia!

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Gizmo,

The guy was another amputee.. Why he said what he did is only for me to guess and I'm guessing that being an amputee was not high on his list of things he liked and he had a very big chip on his shoulder.... He posted to me that he thought it I was mutilated and that word means 1. to cut up or alter radically so as to make imperfect 2. to cut off or permanetly distroy a limb or essential part of: Cripple And because I was born missing a limb I don't see it as a mutilated limb and therefore pissed me off...... I don't even see my revision surgery as mutilated.. Everyone views their amputation in different ways. I am happy and enjoy my life to the fullest. It's not the end of the world and not the worse thing that could have happened to me.

Brenda

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Hi everyone, sorry I didn't get to jump in on this discussion earlier, a heated one for sure. Well now that I'm here, I'd like to add my two cents. If I should offend anyone along the way, please accept my apology.

First let me say I'm not to fancy with big words, etc, but who needs them, when I can still get my point across without them. I totally agree with Brenda and Kaz. I could be wrong here, but after reading all the post, it sounds to me, that you (Gizmo) enjoy provoking as well, as you seem to think Lili does and why? Perhaps to get a spark or 'bomb fire' out of people, rather its intent is to offend or not. It's nice that you find her (Lili) sense of humor hilarious, knowing that it doesn't take much to humor some people. You say, so long as she's having fun, who cares? I say, maybe the people that can't laugh at themselves, b/c they fail to see the humor about part of their body missing. I'm not one to sit and dwell on having had an amputation

life goes on and we have two choices, to go with it or not. I realize there are some who have to see the humor in things to cope with what's going on around them. I also try to keep a sense of humor, but I personally 'DO NOT' see the humor in words such as 'mutilated' regardless of who is using it!!! :angry: I 'DO NOT' believe my Doctor mutilated me. I prefer that he amputated a part of my body, as in cut off, not as in, cut up and destroyed.

Also, I for one definitely feel it does matter how words are intended, when leaving the translation with no other meaning, other than its purpose to hurt or offend someone. I don't go along with all this PC crap, but I do believe people know certain words that can really set someone off and can be mean spirited enough to use them, regardless. I've always been one to say pretty much what I want, when I want and never really prided myself on pleasing everyone, impossible to do. However, I'm also one who tries to know when I've crossed the line with peoples feelings.

Of course we all express our feelings in many different ways, that's understandable. Only, what isn't understandable, to me at least, is why one of those ways tend to be at the expense of others... sad :(

Well it's time for me to get off the soap box, for this evening anyways. :lol:

Sheila

Keep Smiling :)

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Hi,

Brenda, telling me that first the guy was another amputee and second that he directed his interpretation of the term directly at you (instead of only making morbidly fun of himself), sheds of course a different light on the situation. And leans towards one of my explanations that he was feeling bad about himself and wanted to extend this dissatisfaction to others in order not to be the only one to suffer from inferiority complexes.

But then, you see, you did not share his opinion at all, so why take his way of naming things so seriously.if it had been someone you knew, but it was just a stranger - although he achieved obviously exactly what he wanted. You should just have felt sorry for the guy and told him so instead of showing that you were truly upset.

Sheila, I am journalist, so provoking up to a certain extent is probably a part of myself, although in here I definitely do not do it to hurt anyone. I never said that I was in favor of the word I just said try to see it from different angles.

To my knowledge, Lili did not extend the humor she makes of herself to others. And as she says "it makes it easier to deal with the situation". Then please let her have her way without questioning it. YOU need not use the same approach, this is of course completely up to you.

See, I am very short-sighted and hated it as a kid when normally sighted people referred to me as "blind hen" (which is not a VERY bad word in German, but not a very nice one either). But if another person who is visually impaired up to a certain degree uses it to describe both her/him and me - I could not care less.

Just the other day I told my boss that I was toying with the idea of undergoing laser surgery, but "in case that it does not work out, they train really pretty guide dogs in the next building" (my job on the side is at a veterinary university). and "what a shame I learnt sign language instead of braille". My boss did not quite know what to say (love it, when he is speechless since it happens so rarely) and when thinking about it I just realized that I am curious to see people´s reactions to an unexpected situation. See, for instance, my boss never realized that I had a visual problem, I wear contacts and I hardly ever have problems with them. And perhaps one reason why I am provocative, is to put people at ease, since knowing that it is an invisible handicap, people are often shocked when I happen to mention how many diopters I have - and usually the first reaction - when I mention it the serious way is - oh my God, you are half blind...

Regards,

Gizmo

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Hello Gizmo,

I've really been enjoying the flurry of responses you got started with your initial posting about political correctness in the world of amputees. My amputation led me to cut short (no pun intended) my career of 35 years as a speech and language pathologist or speech therapist or speech teacher or ... It always bugged me that in graduate courses we were forced to use $1.00 words when a 39 cent special would have done just as well. When I was working with a five-year-old child to help him say soup instead of thoup, those big words didn't make any difference. After my amputation my surgeon said call it a residual limb instead of a stump. Here we go again. The bottom line is that we are all attempting to communicate. Communication exists only when both the sender and the receiver are at the same level of understanding. Enough (or enuff) said for now.

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From the book "Inherit The Wind", a quote that has stuck with me for many years. "Language is a poor enough means of communication. We've got to use all the words we've got. Besides, there are damn few words anybody understands."

Kep

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at the moment in trafalgur square is a statue of a handicapped person she is 8 months pregnant .she has no arms and deformed legs .this is causing an up roar .she should not be on display she is causing offence she will scare children so what ever we want to call our selves in lots of peoples minds we are different .i applaud this women for having the courage to say to society we are human and all beautiful in our own way wether it is the norm or not.

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