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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
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firstborn

How to tell loved ones you know whats best!

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I am sick and fed up with doing what others think is right. I have walked around with a painful limb for almost 3 years and I am done with caring what my family and bf think I should do. Whenever I mention the surgery the seem to turn me off and not listen to me. I have had to put my entire life on hold because I can NO longer do what I did before. I want to be able to move on with my life. I want to move forward with my dreams. I know there is a post I have seen in the past that explains to family why you want to have an amp. I like any one else out there wants to be healthy. At this point in my life. I rely on pains meds and alcohol to take help control the pain so I can get up in the morning to go back to work. I hate it!

Jenn

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Hi Jenn,

You obviously know what you want to do, you don't need their permission but their support would be nice.

You need to involve them in your decision, I know you say they switch off but you have to try to see things from their point of view. they are never going to tell you to go for amputation, no one can, only you. If they say go for it they may feel guilty for all sorts of reasons.

can you show them some positive things about amputation, forums and You Tube have some very inspiring things to look at.

you also need to find a doc who is sympathetic to your situation and is will to do the surgery, take you b/f or family along with you to the appointments. You having an amputation will change their lives too, especially if things don't go as planned.

As you probably know not all amputations lead to a positive outcome but that is a risk you may be willing to take, but it is YOUR decision and no one elses.

Is it at all possible for you to meet up with an amputee, get them to talk to your B/F and family.

The Limbless Association has a volunteer visitor system, you could give them a rind and explain your situation. They are having a few... 'problems' at the moment but they should be able to help....that is what they are their for.

Good luck with everything.

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1/25/2010

Hi Jenn:

I relate to your situation all to well as I lived with a "salvaged" knee" for six years. My particular issues could not be helped by today's fixes. In early July (2010) I hit the end of my willingness to wait around for that fix. I had enough of putting life on hold.

Via a friend of my sister I was linked up via email to women who so well wrote about why sometimes an amputation is better than making do with what one has. I think I posted her piece before on this site but in case you can't locate it I will attach it again. I used her words to help make my family, friends and co-workers understand why for me an amputation was the right decision.

The step is huge and there is no turning back. But I can say despite a learning curve that has involved multiple falls my life is moving forward again. Bumpy and a bit bruised but it is going in the right direction.

The best advise Judy (author of the attached piece)has given me is to look ahead six months to a year. The beginning steps of this new life can be overwhelming, painful and frustrating. A new life will come around and looking ahead the six months or a year help keep everything in perspective.

Hang in there,

Jane

Youve already lost it2.doc

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