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caz

awaiting counselling atm

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I just hope that they are active amputees. Not some old geezer in a wheelchair.

Good luck.

Neal, please stop talking about me.....

Sorry Kerry. I didn't mean to step on any toes. LOL I really want the best for this guy. And no, you are no geezer.

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I just hope that they are active amputees. Not some old geezer in a wheelchair.

Good luck.

Neal, please stop talking about me.....

Sorry Kerry. I didn't mean to step on any toes. LOL I really want the best for this guy. And no, you are no geezer.

Certainly not worried about any toes being stepped on. You and Cherylm are very nice, but I'm becoming more and more geezerish by the minute.

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Hi Caz .... as I mentioned in previous posting, most UK Prosthetic Centres/DSC's will have User Groups. User Groups are voluntary, made up of service users and sometimes DSC staff. They usually hold meetings, meet ups etc, they may have a website or put out a newsletter, they will usually also offer peer support which is on an informal basis. If your husband contacts your local Group they will probably be able to put him in touch with someone of similar age, etc. etc. You can find a list of User Groups on the Limbless Association Forum http://www.limbless-association.org/information/user-groups-local-support-groups/ Though if you are attending a local centre, take a look on the notice board you will probably see notices etc.

Counselling is quite different from peer support, a counsellor will listen and try and help him to find his own way of coming to terms with things, but peer support from another amputee will be more like what is on this forum, much more informal, letting people know how they manage, chatting about day to day things, maybe showing them their prosthesis etc., different approaches but both probably helpful. Counselling is probably going to be offerred by his DSC/Prosthetic Centre, but he might find he needs to contact the User Group himself, direct, don't automatically expect hospital staff to put you in touch with other amputees, as it doesn't always happen, especially if you don't specifically ask, often down to issues of confidentiality etc. Though appreciate you are in a difficult position being as its Dave who is going to be the amputee and him who really needs to be talking to people.

I imagine the hardest thing for you, is that, as you are probably realizing, you are not going to be able to do all this stuff for him. You are probably thinking he is not doing the things you would do, given the same situation, and I think that is very much a man thing, over the years I have met many amputee's and men and women often have a very different approach to things ... a bit like not wanting to ask directions when lost etc (apologize to any men reading this am just trying to explain my understanding of the situation) At the moment you probably just have to 'be there' and give him your support .... give him time, he is probably desperately trying to get his head around the situation, and no doubt in time will become as pushey and proactive as the rest of us.

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thank you ann for replying, i have looked at the link u have given me and the nearest support group is in bristol, which is a long trek from were we live, we had some good news today, his blue badge arrived in the post, which he was so pleased about, no more going to town and then me having to go and get the car and pick him up from were ever he couldnt walk anymore, all i can do at the moment is be there, i do get so frustrated some days but i cant show it, he have just rang me now wanting to just talk, and he said he really needs a cuddle, thats all i can do for him at the moment, i just hope and pray he will be a bit more possitive after next weds, he did ring a number this morning,( i think he was expecting me to ring it for him,) asking for some advice, they r going to send him a pack or something which will help him. Its all very slow progress at the moment but we will get there, he let me read out a private mail from here which i recieved yesterday and he went all quiet, so i didnt say anything else to him, it was a very possitive email, but i think dave just needed time to let it sink in what id read, but hey he still said i could read it to him, which if i had asked him a few weeks back he would have said no stop preassuring me. I do believe the best councelling dave could get it by meeting amputees, and maybe he will talk more then

I feel real numb today, just cant wait for weds, and maybe see a bit of light

xxx

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Sorry Caz, I might have misunderstood, reading earlier postings I gathered you were in the Birmingham area and there definitely is listed a User Group at Selly Oak in Birmingham, but I know there is also a User Group at Bristol. Ideally you want to be looking for a User Group belonging to the Centre/DSC you are attending I would have thought, as they will be able to let Dave know how things work in that Centre ... there are differences in treatment, whats provided etc. etc. at each individual centre here in the UK.

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we go to selly oak tomorrow so we will have a look

thx for everyones help and advice, u all dont know how helpful and supportive u have been

thx again

caz x

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just to let u all know, we went to selly oak to meet the consultation team and what a difference in dave, omg he is just so possitive now, its just like having my dave back, we went in and saw the occupational therapist, who was lovely, then we saw the consultant who seemed to have all the time in the world for us, then we saw a advice officer, then the counsellor then the consultant again, then the pysiotherapist.

We were down there for 4 1/2 hours and it was non stop information and whats going to happen, and what we will need, they were so lovely people, and r now daves team, who will look after him from now on, we were so surprised, everyone was so helpful, and everyone seemed to know everything about dave, he feels as though he is not on his own now,

just want to thank everyone for all thier help and support for these last few months, its been a total nightmare, and i can honestly say i can see the light at the end of the tunnel now,

xx

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Wonderful news, caz, and I'm so glad to hear it! It does help when you don't feel like you're having to deal with everything "all on your own"...especially when it's something like losing a leg. A caring team can be a tremendous reassurance and asset, and it sounds like Dave has a good one.

You should probably both be aware that Dave may still find times when he starts feeling overwhelmed by everything that's going on around him. It's natural, and it's OK...and now he has some folks he knows he can ask questions of, so he should go right ahead and do just that. And if he does decide that speaking with some amputees is something he's interested in doing, we'll be here and very willing to share our advice and opinions with him! :smile:

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just to let u all know, we went to selly oak to meet the consultation team and what a difference in dave, omg he is just so possitive now, its just like having my dave back, we went in and saw the occupational therapist, who was lovely, then we saw the consultant who seemed to have all the time in the world for us, then we saw a advice officer, then the counsellor then the consultant again, then the pysiotherapist.

We were down there for 4 1/2 hours and it was non stop information and whats going to happen, and what we will need, they were so lovely people, and r now daves team, who will look after him from now on, we were so surprised, everyone was so helpful, and everyone seemed to know everything about dave, he feels as though he is not on his own now,

just want to thank everyone for all thier help and support for these last few months, its been a total nightmare, and i can honestly say i can see the light at the end of the tunnel now,

xx

Am really pleased all went so well Caz. Selly Oak must be a very good centre, you sound like you got exceptionally good service.

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That is great news. A pending amputation is scary. All sorts of scenarios pass through your head with none of them making any sense and few of them positive. It really helps to have someone outline what the real outcome should be like. You don't mention if he got to meet any amputees. It doesn't matter as long as he feels more positive about it. Like Cheryl said, he will still have some tough times. Maybe he will be more inclined to explore the possibilities. Invite him again to join our forum.

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Great news....does he have a date set for his surgery...good luck. :smile:

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Hiye, he don't have date set as yet,but it deffo won't be this side of summer, he didn't meet any amputees,there were some amputee older men there when we went in but he wouldn't look,nor sit near any,but now he have asked to go to a clinic here and meet some. He really is so different now and its made me feel better too, and everyone on this forum have been great, he sits with me now whilst I read posts out to him, brilliant x

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That's great. I don't understand why your system won't just go ahead and get it done. Why make a person suffer through the wait? It's the anxiety of waiting that can drive a person wild. It also adds to the recovery period as the body suffers through immobility. This is one thing I have against socialized medicine.

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Cazi, can I ask how old your husband is? Also has he ever served in the forces?. My name is Keith. I lost my right leg above the knee playing rugby, I also had a fused ankle, which led to amputation 2 years ago. I was devastated, I have always been sporty, and have always worked. I thought it was the end, however, since then I have been skiing in Austria and Germany. I have also done several other activities which I thought was gone forever.

The reason I ask about the forces is I belong to a group called BLESMA, this is a group for ex service persons who have an amputation, it doesnt have to be due to war. They do so much to help Amputees.

I live in Wales, if ever your husband wants to meet to chat, we could sort that.

best wishes keith

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hiye keith, he is 40 and he havent been in the forces,we were under the impression he had to have the amputation due to a football injury, although that didnt help it was down to something he was born with, something happened either during birth or not long after which caused some deformatie in his feet???? not quite sure what yet, consultant did explain but we didnt take it in, but will find out again when we meet with his consultant. He have always had funny shapped feet, consultant told us that within next 20 years he will have to have other leg off too, but in mean time he is sorting him out with some sort of brace for the other leg.

Its daves decision to wait till after the summer at the earliest not the hospitals, he said he wants to get holidays out of way, and he wants to keep his leg as long as possible.

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