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Mary Farquhar

What to do?

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April is fast approaching and a possible phone call for my surgery is to happen? Only thing I am kinda hit at a fork in the road. A business opportunity has come my way, and I don't really want to pass it by. I have been off work for almost 4 years now...you can see why I want to take this business thing on. If I don't then it will be gone.(I would be buying this business.)

I am confused because I do know I can't ignore my foot for too much longer. It is only getting worse. A part of me wants to go ahead with my own business now, and just put the surgery off until the winter, but then another part tells me to try to do it now, and then see if I can still do the business thing. Just don't know how fast I will be up and going again. I know I will be up fast, but it's the learning to walk again and all the recover part I am worried about. Hmmm, what to do?

Mary

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I think people on the forum have helped you about all they can Mary.....now its entirely up to you. All the luck in the world in making YOUR decision. :smile:

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Mary, while I might put it a bit more "gently," I think that eag is making a very valid point. It sounds to me like you're still looking for "someone" or "something" to step in and make "some sort of decision" for you. At "some" point, you have to make a firm decision BY yourself, FOR yourself.

If you're convinced that going ahead with the surgery is "something" you should do, go ahead and do it and don't look back. If you're not able to trust that you're doing "something" good for your future, then back off and give it some more thought. Whichever "something" you decide on, it DOES come down to your own decision. No one else can make it for you.............

Think long and hard, and whatever decision YOU decide to make,I truly hope it turns out well for you. If you find you have practical questions or need additional information, then do feel free to post here and we'd be happy to offer advice.......but we can not be the ones to decide for you.

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Mary,I fully concurr with Eag and Cherylm.Everybody here on the forum has given in the past its opinion.It's now up to you and you know that you can't sit on the wall hoping that somebody tells you to pull to whatever side it should be.I thought that your decision was already made;stand to your decision or refuse it,but then you'll be for the rest of your life incertain whether you should have made a decision while your foot is going worse and worse and time and life goes by......

Have courage and decide!

Joachim

LAK+LAE

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Agree with whats been said so far ... either venuture, I imagine, will be wanting total commitment for the time being ... only you can decide.

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I am NOT waiting for someone to tell me what to do. I HAVE made my decision, but because this business opportunity has come up, I am confused at if I should wait a bit longer to go through with the surgery. If I do the surgery now then the business opportunity will be gone. It would be nice to buy this business, work for a bit then go ahead with the surgery. So after wards I have a job to go to. If I do the surgery now, then after the recovery part I am starting from scratch work wise....going back to school etc..This is all I meant by my thread. I am not looking for people to tell me if I should do the surgery or not. I have made that decision!!! Sorry if you misunderstood me.

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I am sorry if I came on too strong.. :smile: ..I just had a feeling you might be hedging on your surgery....I believe you already have your decision made.

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Mary,

I am dealing with the same emotions you are. I am not yet an amputee but I think about it every single day of my life. Not sure if that is healthy or not. Broke my foot a few years back and its useless to me. I live in chronic pain. I haven't set a date for my surgery but I thought this year I was going to have the procedure done. I set a goal for May but I haven't made an appointment. Its such a huge decision to make, one that you cant reverse or fix once its done. I have find reason's not to go the doctor. I can relate to your story completely. I think that you will know when the timing is right. I believe that you the time is right, when you come to peace with what your about to do.

Jenn

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Mary, if I misunderstood your intention, I'm sorry. What I've noticed with your posts, though, is that every time you seem to be clear on your decision, either "something" or "someone" pops up to make you reconsider...if not the decision itself, then the timing of the decision, or the procedure itself, or..."something else."

It's really OK if you're not at the decision point yet...the important thing is that you get there and are sure about how you want to proceed, at least for the time being.

Let me ask you...if you were to invest in this business opportunity now, and delay your surgery, how would you deal with matters when you did finally schedule your surgery? Would you be able to keep the business running while recovering from your surgery? I know one of our members who is self-employed and who had to return to work very soon after their amputation because of the need to keep up an income. Are you up to that challenge? Or is there someone who would be able to help "fill in" with the business if you did have a longish delay in getting back to work? If not, is the business something that could be put "on hold" for an undetermined time while you recovered? Think about these matters as seriously as you have with looking into a possible amputation...in their own way, they are equally important matters.

Those are all questions that none of us can answer...they are questions only you have the ability to determine, just as only you can determine if you're ready to either go ahead with the surgery now, or put it off and try to go on with your physical situation as it is now in order to try and build a business.

I wish you the very, very best in making all of these decisions.

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Cheryl,

I have made the decision, and I wasn't expecting this business opportunity to pop up....my luck it all comes to me at once.

If I did put off the surgery, then when I did go ahead with it I would definately have help. I have been thinking of trying to put it on hold until next Spring, so that way I could do the surgery now and hopefully by next Spring be recovered enough to work? I was told by my Dr that if I had surgery in April/May that I should be ok by the Fall. I guess it all depends on my recovery?

I am going to have to talk to the owners now and see if they would be willing to wait till Spring, and at the same time hopefully the house will be sold too. I just don't want to give up on this opportunity, it's something that will be good for me once I am a bka. It's not a very demanding job either, and I am helping the elderly.

Sorry if I didn't explain myself correctly......I have made this decision a long time ago but kinda kept on trying something new that the Dr would recommend. So I kept on thinking that "something new" would work, but it never did. It's just time!

Mary

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Mary,just an observation: after completing BK amp you'll have more or less 3 weeks until taking the stitches off,then estimate 30 to 45 days with the shrinking of the stump in order to get a pros fitted.Let's calculate an aditional time of 3 months until you have your definite socket.Meanwhile you got completely acustomed to use and walk the entire day with the pros.That means that within a period of 5 to 6 months after amp (in your case october) you should be 100% perfect in order to assume your business.Try to have your surgery as soon as possible and have your business delayed to october.Negotiate with the owner!!

Best wishes and success!

Joachim

LAK + LAE

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I preface this statement by the usual amp motto - "we are all different, and heal at different rates" however I had an elective amp surgery and only missed 11 weeks of work. I am in my 30's and my remaining leg is only functioning around 60% feeling and movement. I work in a factory that builds airplanes, on the floor all day. Returned to work on my very first socket, while it wasn't pretty or easy you can do it. I am a big believer in if you think it you will do it, that works both negatively and positively. Look at your amp surgery with the same eyes that you are looking at the business opportunity. I wasn't sure if my line of work was going to be do able after the amp but realized that the only thing I was doing was prolonging my suffering. In the end I decided that i found this career when I was looking for one and I could do it again if needed. Good Luck!

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Well, just an opinion here, rehab is better when you do not have to worry about going through the snow. I am glad I had no choice. I was in hospital in June and out of rehab by Sept. If you are in pain... Id get it taken care of. Money is nothing if you cant live normal. Another opportunity will open up. When one door is closed a window is open. :) I am sure you know that already. Good luck. :)

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Jason....I agree with what you said. I am a very strong person and I know I can get through this surgery coming out on top. I have to go in it being positive.

I have been off of work for 4 years now. At this point do not want to go back working with children. I am still wanting to buy this business. I am still getting all info on that. I hope in the end I can have both...surgery and a business.

Mary

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