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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum
marianne

Taking those first " baby steps " .

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First off , i MUST apologise to both GIZ and KAZ for my total state of hyper confussion today . .. what a day though and your gurls are the best . I couldn't type a word because my mind was racing at about a gazzillion miles a second , the hands at another speed and the keyboard just could not keep up . I'll " talk " in the next day or so with you gurls .

Now to the topic at hand . Today may very well have been the first day of the rest of my life ... a year and a half after it was changed . today , i did something that i have anted to do but was just to chicken to do ... i went swimming , yes , swimming . I know , ya , ya , so what , big deal anyone ( almost ) can swim :D . To me this day was something that i had hoped to be able to do but for so many reasons , actually , excuses, i managed to always find a reason NOT to go but today was different .

My girlfriend was kind enough to pack my stuff for me without me knowing an dput everything in my truck . She then said we are going out ro breakfast and SHE was driving , driving MY truck . So off we go and I am abit confussed as to why we just turned off at the rec center but think nothing of it . Hmmm , my brain is working funny right about now ( when I was in the truck ) so I am not too sure what to make of all this but go inside anyway . Michelle ( my girlfriend ) carries my bag inside and suggests that i do not make a scene . OK I aid and follow her . She leads me to the ladies room where she hands me my swin stuff and tells me to put it on . I a NOT a happy gurl right now but i did put it on .

I need to step back for a bit because this was all part of something that I had been talking about with GIZ and KAZ and we all knew that for me to move forward , I was going to have to take the first step to that road and while I so desperatly wanted to do just that , I was scared to death of it . Michelle , who ws with me when I was injured knew how hard it has been and she has been so supportive of me but asort of tough too . I have also been seeing a therapist for the last little while and she too has been supportive and tough . So , what the hell was my big problem anyway ? I have NEVER gone out in public showing my residual leg before and have been very self concious about to the point of a sort of phobia ... of what someone else will think or see me as . Well , today , I have WON over my fear ... WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO :D :D :D .

I have been reading about all the great triumphs of others here and have wondered why they ( you ) are all winning and why I am staying behind . I read about Brenda and how she has accomplished so mush so fast . I read about Heather who has accomplished so mush and does so much and I wanted to accomplish something too . Today , I did . Today , I took BABY STEPS and whiule I know that there will be many challenges to stand in my way , I will be able to look back at today and will remember that today , I was a WINNER .

To everyone who has been there for me , the only thing I can offer is a HUGE THANK YOU but it comes from te very bottom of my heart . You all have inspired me mad me mad , made me cry , made me do things that I did not want to do and , you all made me win . I still have a very long road ahead but I KNOW where I can turn when i need that lift .

Now lets see what 's next for me . I know .... heehehehehe .... wearing a mini kilt , my favorite red and black striped tights , my favorite black Clash or Ramones T-Shirt , my Doc's and when mom and dad are not looking , I'm dying my hair again and spiking it . hehehehehehehe ........... what color would go good with red and black ... :P :P :P

Thanks to ALL of you :D :D :D

((((((( many hugs and xxx's )))))))

mj

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Blue and Purple would go nicely with Red and Black! :P

Marianne, you rock gurl! I know that must've taken every ounce of courage you could muster up, but you did it Baby!!

I haven't known you long, but you put a smile on my face and I'm very proud of you!

Hugs and :wub:

Janet

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MJ,

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU GO GIRL.. You've gotten over one little bump in the road and all the others will seem even smaller compaired... Keep the positive attitude up and you'll be wearing the mini skirt soon.. with blue and purple hair... LOL

We are here for you anytime you need us 24/7!!

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hooray.JPG

Hip, Hip, Hooray! You are back in the water... keep taking those baby steps!

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Lili gurl , i think this ESP thing is way too powerfull ... love the Ramones .

Brenda , you know , if it were anyother place I was and someone said they woujld be there 24/7 , i for sure wouild not believe it but here , i KNOW very differently .

Janet , ya , it was tough but with soooo much possitive influence around me like you all here , how could i NOT have at least tried .

Lark , i LOVE the picture you sent ... so totaly perfect .

Well , I am much more calmed down now after the big day yesterday and you know , it feels GREAT . Today thee pool , tomorrow , the moon ... well maybe something a bit closer to home .

I do however want to thank here , although she does not read too much of what i write here , my girlfriend Michelle . She was there with me at the time of the injury and stay with me day and night until i was out of the hell hole known as a hospital ( can you say , bad patient ) She moved with me to her own place up north when i decided to move up there and she is again going to move once i find a new house closer to the big city . In all honesty , I may not be here today had it not been for her and again , I have her to largely thank for getting me this far .

To all of you out here who have been so supportive as well , and you know who you all are ..... ALL of you , also a huge thank you . You all have shown that one can do anything with a bit if work and help but it must be taken one step at a time . Brenda , you NEED to write a book called " BABY STEPS " gurl .

Well , I am going SHOPPING ... and you KNOW whay that means ... :P :P :P

mj

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MJ,

What are you so worried about you're beautiful. Take those baby steps right into a mini skirt you'll look fab...... I wish I had half your beauty!! Hold your head up high with pride..

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I agree MJ! You'd look great in a mini-skirt!

Just thought you should know that, whilst glancing through this topic, I scrolled down quickly and saw your picture, and immediately thought it was our very own Heather McCartney!! It was only when I looked again properly (and read it), that I realised it was you MJ.

You were definitely NOT hit with the ugly stick! :P

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:P Now I'm blushing ... you gurls and guys made me feel soooo .... well , you know .

Funny thing though , after yesteday , I have this feeling of confidance ( or something like that ) that I have not felt before . I am not sure just what it is but it does feel good . Tomorrow i am leaving for the big city to stay with mom and dad for the weekend and on friday , it's shrink visiting day so , i wonder how i tell her about it and am sort of like stressed out about how she will react ... even though it will be a possitive reaction . Of course , after the shrinky dink hour , remember , I'm in the big city and you KNOW what that means . SHOPPING , HAIR DYED ( and spiked this time .... hehehehehehehehe ) but , i wonder what new tricks my girlfriend will have up her sleeve this time .

Lili , let me try and do the math here . ( oh oh , brain has to be turned on again ) . You suggested that if i was ten years younger ten years ago then , would that make me the same age today as i am now ? ( huge evil grin ) Now , would we have paintged the town red / I think so , but , i think there would have to hav ebeen a few more colors as well . Green Nija hmmm ? What size was it ? I had a ZX10 a few years ago but it was too boring for me and not very comfortable so i sold it .

AFET , I can only WISH that i look half as good as our very own HEATHER .

BRENDA , i have to hold my head up high because at only five foot six everyone is taller than me . :P :P :P But i do know what you mean gurl

Well , baby steps and all , it sure felt GREAT ... ready or not world , here i come ... have the hair dye ready when i get there :D :D :D

mj

aka: harley

aka : slushy gurl

aka : anything else LILI comes up with

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Lili writes : " ...P.S. Which one of us three gals did you turn into a "Dude" this time??? ... "

MJ is confused ... what does that mean :wub:

mj

aka : harley

aka : slushy gurl

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Way to go MJ, you certainly have over come your fear and WON big time girl!! :D I felt the same way when I went swimming, I called everybody I could think of to share it with them, I was sooooo excited as well and what a GREAT feeling!! That's one 'BIG' step for us and one 'GIANT' step for Harley!!! Yeahhhhh :D You look great on that bike and the mini skirt, go for it, you're only young once, live it up my friend!! ;)

Sheila, LBK

Maine- USA

Keep Smiling :)

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MJ,

I lost my right leg BK when I was too little to be self-consuse of it. I used to get yelled at by the life gards for "running" when I hopped around the pool deck. Must have been quite a site. This skinny little white kid with one leg hopping at high speed around the pool deck. I loved the highdive.

Ok MJ here's your next baby step. Fourtunatly you have all of the rest of spring, all summer, and half the next fall to get ready.

See you in December. Ok sorry but I am "ampskier"

post-7-1083099826.jpg

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Hey MJ,

I meant what I said you are absolutely beautiful.. So go get that MINI SKIRT put it on and show off your looks.... Nobody will even notice the leg as they will be taking in the beauty rainbow hair and all..... :P

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YOOOHOOO :D :D B) Go MJ ! Go Gurl!

Show 'em what you've got..... ;)

and when you get to the moon, don't forget to drop me a postcard, ta!

cheers K.

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MJ!!!! YOU GO girl! Like Lili said...now is my turn to step up to the plate! I am SO proud of you...tears came to my eyes when I read your original posting..I understand how exciting that would be. And KNOW that in a few months, when *I* go to the pool for the first time with my kids, and take off my leg in public, I WILL think of you, and how brave YOU were...and I know I can do it. (somewhat terrified right now...!)

(it is still COLD here in utah...we wont be swimming for another month or two!)

NOW...we want a PICTURE of you IN that miniskirt....even if you dont wear it OUT yet...put it ON and prance around the house!

And, when you do make it to the moon...send Kaz a postcard and then send our little guy JOSH one!

CONGRATS, my friend!!!

Judy

Utah

LBK

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hi i love to swim and was very nervous the first time but like my hubby said this is for you so i sat on the sand took the leg off my hubby carried me to the water and i have not looked back since.

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pant pant pant

Sorry MJ. You just look so good. Even better than Heather!!!! There is something about a hot woman on a crotch rocket.

VVVEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

I mean it when I invite you guys to come skiing. If I get your addys I'll send you anouncements when Tass re-opens next December.

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Judy's post on another part of this forum has got me to think about the value of having a great support system and it plays a huge role in what happens to us at some point in the future . Judy , those stepes you took where much bigger than you can imagine right now , and like they did for me , these baby steps you took today WILL play a HUGE part in the rest of your life too .

Meagan , i was not ignoring your comment but i did want to clear my eyes a bit and place it here in this section . You too neew what had to be done to ride and did it ... maybe a bit slower but , YOU DID IT . way to go gurl .

If there is anything that can be learned from all this is that when the going gets tough , the tough come here and get so inspired , that in time , they ( we ) are ready to take on the world ... and WIN . I know , i experienced it over the past little while and have felt more alive than i have felt in a long time . ( would some one pllleeeaassee turn of that stupid tear tap already ) .

As Jim Morrison of the Door's sang once a long time ago :

" ... break on through to the other side .... "

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MJ,

The sky is the Limits... One of my 3 therapist told me this while I was in the rehab hospital as we were talking about me running in the paralympics... I didn't really think much about it until I ran the Disney marathon that really the sky is the limits well actually beyond that but I will take the sky for now. I started out doing big steps and that just set me back and gave me severe depression but once I took the baby steps that I talk about everything feel into place.. When you cry, just cry it's part of the healing I cried a many tears on my journey... What helped me a great deal was a journal that I could go back over and read..

Keep on reaching and you'll succeed...

BTW Everyone else that are new amputees or waiting for your surgery this is for you as well....

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I certainly have to agree with you MJ, this site is definitely inspiring, it motivates your self asteem, hearing the stories of other amputees and how things can be accomplished, even with being physically challenged. Everyone has different goals in life, some small, some way out there on the edge, some in between, whatever your's may be, believe it and you can achieve it. ;)

At my age, I don't intend to try and take on the world, but I have no intentions of letting it pass me by either!! My family thought I was silly going out into the boat again, as I enjoyed so doing before the amputation, but my thoughts were just the opposite, thinking...... how silly of me not to!!! I mean how hard can it be to sit in a boat, right?? It was climbing off the boat to go swimming, that was a little tricky,

:o but I DID it!! I've never been a big, "what if person" like some of my family, good thing, cause I'd be on the couch most of the time..... NO couch potato here!! :D So I'd just like to say, seems I'm the oldest one here, (I think? :P ) Stay young, stay happy, stay friendly, stay confident and most of all stay POSITIVE!!!

If you didn't accomplish it today, don't cry with sorrow, just put it aside and do it tomorrow!!! ;) Never give up!!!

Sheila LBK

Maine USA

Keep Smiling :)

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I wanted to post a better picture of me and a more recent one too but it failed ...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR . too early in the morning for me i guess . ( note to self , try not staying up all night :P ) i'lll try annd post for another computer later today with a more colorfull pic. . In the meantime , for those who wanted MORE color from me :

TAA DAA ... here you go : ( we found this and it was just the coolect so , here ya go ) There you Lili , MORE colors for you . Well , off to bed to try anf get some sleep .

post-7-1083062094.gif

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I have to add another valuable thing about this forum. By checking in every few days, reading about other amputees, what they are doing, what they are experiencing, I have come to see myself as very NORMAL. I had this thought the other day, while getting undressed to shower. I normally dont really *look* at my stump that much, aside from checking it for breakdowns. I really LOOKED at it this day and tried to see what a non-disabled person would see when looking at it. I realized that *I* dont see it as "weird" or even "different", because I *know* so many people (YOU GUYS!) out there who are also amputees, have similar stumps. Without this forum, I dont think I would have that sense of normalcy, to the same extent. I feel like I am a part of a huge circle of "amputee family", who not only understand, but validate each other. We ARE normal, and we might be missing a few parts here and there (some more than others...) but by the banter we have here, we come to realize we are just *regular* people. Does that make sense? I hope so!

Judy

Utah

LBK

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We ARE normal, and we might be missing a few parts here and there (some more than others...) but by the banter we have here, we come to realize we are just *regular* people. Does that make sense? I hope so!

Judy,

That make a lot of sense. You are so very right. We are all *regular* people, how ever different that we are, we are still all the same. BRAVO.

Best regards,

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Who's calling me normal. :huh: I'll have you KNOW I'm not normal :wub: I'm really quite strange. You'd know that if you knew me but at least I can make people smile and I know when to give good advice.

If anybody else calls me "normal" I'll kick thier but so hard they will be pulling splinters out of there mouth!! :angry::angry::angry::angry:

I'm weird but weird in a good way

Does anybody else find it ironic that "weird" is one word that violates the "i before e" rule. That's just weird man.

LOL

:angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry:

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Yeaaa She FINALLY gave me a nick name :D

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