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Heather Mills - Amputee Forum

Bad jokes or the real thing ... you decide

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My gurlfriend had nothing better to do with her time and found these somewhere in the net she said . I looked at them andfell flat on my rear end . Here they are :

Just A Thought... on disability

The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.

Stupidity does not count as a disability - park elsewhere.

Why are the brains of social workers like the prison system - not enough cells

They said you were a great asset. I told them they were off by two letters.

I may be paralysed from the neck down, but your dead from the neck up.

Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

I filled out an application that said 'In Case Of Emergency Notify:' I wrote 'Doctor'... What's my mother going to do?

She's a few fries short of a happy meal - applies to DSS, social services [male or female].

Sorry but it was one of those days so , to those who i may have offended , sorry , to thos e who i am about to offend . sorry . To those who are not offended i can try harder , i am human , i can chnage .

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:D :D :D lol!!!

Very good, your friend has a good SOH Marianne.

PS...don`t you dare go change, not for anyone, Lili would have to think up new names for you. lol!!!

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I am just reading some posts

a little bored here

and I didnt get them but I got some

and I like the not enough cells LOL!!!!


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Hi Marianne,

some of those are oh! so true !!

But humour is a 'funny' thing. (no pun intended)

IMO, for me to be part of the community, then humour, jokes etc, come with the territory. So I don't get offended.

BTW, some of the funniest jokes I have been told about disabilities have been told by disabled people.

Without my sense of humour, I would have had probs adjusting to being an amp.

best as ever


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So true Steve,

Where I live we sometimes have problems with boys racing about on motorcross motorbikes....I had a thought...(only happens now and then!!) What if I sit by the curb and then when I see them go past - fling off the leg - cover with ketchup and then when they come back - sit back and watch their faces? :P

Ha, that would teach them to be a bit more thoughtful....maybe?? or is it just my warped sense of humour?? :blink:

Sue-Cardiff - UK

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I think that is a great idea! My kids are already counting down to Halloween this year...first I will be a pirate, then they are going to do a magic show for their friends, instead of cutting the lady in half, they are going to cut off her leg! Buying up the ketchup already...




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Yes Sue, very warped!

Years ago, 2 of my friends thought it would be funny to upset this lad they knew who didn't know about my leg at a house party, so duly chopped it just above the ankle with a meat cleaver type thingy. At the time I s'ppose we thought it'd be funny, but when the person finally regained consciousness and threw up several times before realising it was a gag we felt kind of guilty-oppz :blink:

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